Charting Bloopers

I once had an aide point out that I had placed our entire six-bed epilepsy monitoring unit on suicide precautions (check box right above "seizure precautions"). Also transfered an off-service pt to med-surg floor with the final note, "Report called, pt stable, denies pain or nausea, no seizure activity noted." It was all true, though.

In rural hospitals we often have to admit our own patients into the computer system. A hospital employee came to the ER with a bite wound after she had, "Interfered in a family fight." The ER RN entered her diagnosis as 'human bite.' When I took over, I knew right away that this was incorrect, but asked anyway, "This is a dog bite, yes?" The patient, who lives alone with her sled dogs, and I both got a good laugh out of that one.

OK, one from my early days that my supervisor gave me heck about for months: ABNORMALS: Pt is obese. INTERVENTIONS: Will continue to monitor.

Yup, she's still obese!

I have thoroughly enjoyed many of these bloopers!! I decided to add one of my own. I had finished filling out a patient's database and gave the chart to his doctor to review. After reading the first page of the database, the doctor turned to me and said, "So Camille, the patient is allergic to a**" I had mistakenly written a** in place of the patient's true allergy to aspirin (asa). Boy, did I about die laughing and so did the doctor!!

During my first year of nursing school, an elderly man coded on a fellow male student while giving him his bath. The student charted, "unable to arouse patient while performing perineal care."

ok, this is veterinary (I'm not a nurse yet) the chart for a diabetic cat who was transferred from another hospital said "gave karo syrup, sub Q) The tech's actually tried putting the syrup in a syringe to see if it would squeeze through!! hahaha

Actually I just heard about this very way of giving karo syrup to a diabetic dog this morning on I believe Good Morning America or the Today show (relaxing due to being snowed in). The suggestion was to put the syrup in a syringe and squirt it between the dog's cheek and teeth so it would run down the back of his throat. However, I admit I do not have any animals so I don't have any first hand experience with this but I wouldn't want to try it.

shannonRN said:

just last night I was reading a doctor's h&p...well, the last three words were pleasant octogenarian female?!?!?!?! yes the patient was 88 years old, but a generation every ten years?  maybe he meant octagedcadarian?!!

Actually I just had to double check the meaning of octogenarian and if you mean octogenarian (the dictionary can't find octogenarian), octogenarian means in one's eighties. The Merriam Webster dictionary can't find octagedcadarian.

In my Nursing class, our instructor introduced us to Go-Litely by saying "it does anything but make you go lightly. It makes your pt go heavily, go oftely, and you go quickly when your patient rings your new friend, the call light."

I had the unfortunate experience of having to take Go-Litely several years ago, and I agreed with that statement completely. And I to this day wonder if the name Go-Litely was someones idea of a joke.:rotfl:

I also feel sorry for the candy company that named itself Golitely. Everytime I see that name I can't touch the candy-I think it is a diabetic candy. Go-Litely is a terrible drink.

I also feel sorry for the candy company that named itself Golitely. Everytime I see that name I can't touch the candy-I think it is a diabetic candy. Go-Litely is a terrible drink.

A diabetic candy... that's hilarious!

Seen in nursing notes of large female pt: Pt has thunder thighs. Nurse said she thought it was OK to write it because she heard pts doctor say it!

Wonder why they didn't use a suction cath?

suction caths that i've seen can't be inflated to stay in.

Terre said:

A new intern to our CCU once charted attempts to cardiovert a patient in the following manner:

Attempted to convert the patient with 200 jews, unsuccessful. Second attempt to convert the patient with 300 jews unsuccessful. Patient finally converted on the third attempt with 300 jews.

The mental picture of three hundred rabbis surrounding a patient's bed yelling, "Convert, convert!" was too much. We nicknamed him "Call a Code or Call a Rabbi" from that day forward.

This is the absolute BEST I've ever heard! I literally cried from laughing so hard. Oy VEY! :chuckle I realize it's a few years old (from 2001!), but I've called a few friends to share... this is priceless!

I have a few to add, not nearly as funny:

"Patient was seen for squeamish cell carcinoma" Dangers of spellcheck?

"Rythym abnormal, regularly irregular" Well, which is it, Doc?

"Put the patient on the floor" I hope we don't get sued for this one!