Broke and about to be more broke!

My wife aspires to be a wonderful mother. She has been to college, and will return when I finish. Yes, I will care for our children when she does. Will she pursue a career: doubtfull. She likes being a mom.

We believe in gender equality with an emphasis on the male bringing home the bacon so mom can be mom.

Someone once asked: "is a feminist any better than a male chauvinist"?

Just sharing my opinions. You are always welcome to disagree.

It is always a blessing to marry someone with like views.

But still, I'm not a feminist. I'm a Miikinist, and I am not inciting an argument. I just like to question those with different views of myself.

What if, instead of being a full-time mom, your wife did want to go to school and pursue a career? And I mean, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to do it now rather than wait until you completed school.

Someone once asked: "is a feminist any better than a male chauvinist"?

Yep In just a few posts, you've made it abundantly clear that I am.

This thread is going to be absolutely epic.

And Steph! Where is this feminist eye located exactly??? I think I missed that in A&P 1.

Bahaha! I'm not touching that one!

Your milage, and opinions, will vary.

I'm just expressing my opinion. I guess it makes me feel good telling others what I think. Again, you're welcome to disagree and tell me what you think. I may not agree but I'll respect your opinion.

It is always a blessing to marry someone with like views.

But still, I'm not a feminist. I'm a Miikinist, and I am not inciting an argument. I just like to question those with different views of myself.

What if, instead of being a full-time mom, your wife did want to go to school and pursue a career? And I mean, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to do it now rather than wait until you completed school.

I only asked questions. I'd like to hear your point of view.

It would be impractical for me to leave school right now for my wife to take classes. Doing so would cause a financial set back. Nor would my work schedule allow it. However, after I finish nursing school she will have both options available to her.

I'm just expressing my opinion. I guess it makes me feel good telling others what I think. Again, you're welcome to disagree and tell me what you think. I may not agree but I'll respect your opinion.

Please, continue to share. Heaven knows, the most appropriate place to express your negative views of daycare and working mothers is in a thread dedicated to working/schooling mothers who choose to put their children in daycare.

As long as it makes YOU feel good, what else matters?

Now...tell me more about how your equal rights views with your special twist....

if the best daycare is home, and your wife chose to work, where would your children be?

So there would be no practical choice for that situation at the moment, which is understandable.

What if... When you said 'I want to go to school for nursing.' your wife said 'I want to go to school to teach/nurse/basket weave/whatever.' I guess what I'm getting at is whose education would come first? Or who would have to sacrifice?

Do you live with other family members? I know nothing of the typical pacific islander family dynamic, but in Mexican and Asian cultures, large family systems tend to live in close proximity.

What about the educational expectancy and standards of the cultures you listed? Most countries with high educational achievement utilize day care systems and typically start children in school at very young ages. Asia is massive and it's countries fit into several different categories.

Maybe education isn't everything? How else would you measure the effectiveness of parental decisions? How loved a child feels? Moral development?

What do you think? Explain your opinion to me.

@ Stephalump

Did I mention your name when I made any of the above statements? Why are you making this personal? My beef with daycare has nothing to do with you, nor do any of my statements.

My problem with daycare stems from the generally unhealthy enviroment. They often have an unproportional adult to child ratio, expose children to negative behaviors illness and abuse from caregivers and other children.

I only want what is best for my children which is why my wife has chosen to stay at home. However I recognize some use day cares out of neccessity rather than privilege. Like I said - your milage may vary.

Oh.

I guess that wasnt for me. I haven't taken anything personally.

If you'd like me to stop, I'll be happy to.

While there are many daycares, especially in low income areas, that create poor environments for child development, there are many good ones out there too. IMO, a good child care center can provide better developmental experiences than the home can.

I'm not telling you to go put your kid in daycare. Your arrangement is perfect for your family.

Miiki, I am enjoying your thoughtful questions and curiosity.

I'm not sure what we would have done if my wife wanted to go to college, although she had already gone to college and I had not. As for sacraficing, I guess my wife looks at going to work and college as a sacrafice on my part, because she loves being at home with our children. I guess its' all a matter of prospective.

My wife and I live in our own home. I am the only income.

It is true that Asians tend to send their children to school for long hours, however this is still recently new in Korean and Japanese cultures. Women tend to stay at home, esp in the traditional Japanese culture. But for the most part the traditional culture of Mexico, Asia, and Pacific Islands revolve around dad at work and mom at home. Obviously there are expcetions to every rule.

The effectiveness of a parents decisions... that will be decided when the kids are adults. We'll know in about 12 years.