Bad choice of words

I was talking with a PT years ago about a pt's wound. Our conversation was regarding the length of the wound. I asked the PT well how long is yours? Not meaning filth involved, just asking in his opinion what the length was. Opps!

I don't know where my brain was, but the other night a pt. said their back itched, so i went and found a softer bedpad for her bed (this fied the problem before), and said "that one was a stiffy".

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.:imbar

I worked with a DDS who was very use to his routine and was VERY shy. He always tell pt's, when we're working on the lower teeth, I'm going to place my mirror between your tongue and your tooth.

Well one day with a female pt he said....ok, i'm going to put my tongue between the mirror and your tooth.

You should have see her eyes bug out of her head. The other assistant and I started laughing and once he realized what he said he turned beat red! :imbar

RoadRunner It happened to me this morning.

After my 35 years old patient was extubated, she had a lot of secretions. So I told her to cough and try to spit them out. She couldn't, but she said she had swallowed them instead. To which the doctor said "So, you're a swallower?"

(Moment of silence allowing for widening eyes from one and serious blushing from the other!)

They changed the subject.

:chuckle :chuckle I'm still laughing!

A patient was transfered to our unit in order to place a central line for access to give blood. He is confused.

After the doc placed a femoral catheter, the patient whispered to the charge nurse "Am I castrated yet?"

Then the patient looks at the doc and says "While you're down there, can you take care of my genital warts?";)

I work in an office and a male patient who had been in the waiting room entirely too long (and had let everyone else know how long he'd had to wait) was next to be called back. I went to the door and called his name and said "Let's go get a room.":eek: He said something about waiting so long that he didn't want to lose his spot now. It certainly lightened the mood in the waiting room though.

HAD A LADY WITH ARTHRITIS, AND NOTICED SHE'D HAD BOTH KNEES REPLACED. i ASKED HER, "HAVE YOU HAD YOUR NIPS DONE TOO?" SHE WAS ABOUT 80, WE BOTH LAUGHED SO HARD I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA STOP BREATHING. (HIPS! HIPS!):chuckle

I once worked at a really ritzy hospice unit. At one time,we had a waiting list for pts to get a bed. After waiting a week, one pt arrived and said "I can see why there is a waiting list."

The charge nurse replied "Yes, people are *dying* to get in here."

The nurse was mortified, but I think it slipped by the pt. Either that, or he was being totally gracious.

A couple of weeks ago I had 2 little old men who shared a room sitting up at the nurses station desk. They were both confused and would wander and get lost so I wanted to keep them up until they were really tired. Well, eventually they both said they were ready to go to bed. So I got up to help them down the hall and in front of the other nurses the RT and ward clerk said, "Okay guys, let's go to bed!!" Everybody had a good laugh, including the patients, but I think my face was red for the rest of the night.:imbar