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You know your a nurse when........

Posted
by mjs5312 mjs5312 (New) New

Specializes in medical icu, surgical icu. Has 8 years experience.

I thought this was too funny not to share and even though it may have been posted before (first time poster, long time lurker) :

1) the front of your scrubs reads 'Nurses... here to

save your ass, not kiss it!'

2) you occasionally park in the space with the

'physicians only' sign... and knock it over.

3) you believe some patients are alive only

because it's illegal to kill them.

4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

5) you own at least three pens with the names

of prescription medications on them.

6) you believe there's a special place for the

inventor of the call light.

7) you believe that saying 'it can't get any

worse' causes it to get worse just to show you it

can.

8) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the

bathroom.

9) you believe that any job where you can

drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.

10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean

bedpan is perfectly natural.

12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form

of birth control.

13) you've ever heard a patient with a nose

ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say 'I'm afraid of shots.'

14) you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

15) you've told a confused patient that your

name is that of a co worker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a

Winnebago's water tank.

17) you have seen more penises than any

prostitute could dream of.

18) you believe that not all patients are

annoying... some are unconscious.

19) your family and friends refuse to watch

medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting

everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.

20) you don't get excited about blood, unless

it's your own.

21) you've sworn to have 'do not resuscitate'

tattooed on your chest. Soon.

22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet

meal is perfectly normal to you.

23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you

can sit down to eat.

24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac

arrest at shift change.

25) you believe in the aerial spraying of

Prozac.

26) you believe that 'shallow gene pool'

should be a recognized diagnosis.

27) you believe that the government should

require permits to reproduce.

28) you believe that unspeakable evils will

befall anyone who utters the phrase 'Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?

29) you have ever wanted to write a book

entitled 'Suicide: getting it right the first time.'

30) you have ever had a patient look you

straight in the eye and say 'I have no idea how that got stuck in there.'

31) you've had to leave a patient's room

before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

RN1982

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

It's true....You can't cure stupid.

Silverdragon102, BSN

Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC. Has 33 years experience.

Moved to nursing humour

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

An perosn walks up to you in Walmart and says, "it is you! I didn't recognize you with clothes on." -- but at least he remembered I was a good nurse, although his wife was giving me the "what the crap?!" look...

6) you believe there's a special place for the

inventor of the call light.

.

Oh my goodness that made me bust out laughing.. thanks for the laugh!

Kristina Feely

Specializes in Wound & Ostomy care, Hyperbarics, Neuro. Has 10 years experience.

An perosn walks up to you in Walmart and says, "it is you! I didn't recognize you with clothes on." -- but at least he remembered I was a good nurse, although his wife was giving me the "what the crap?!" look...

LOL, or you go to put "real" clothes on and realized youre more comfortable in scrubs after a "few" pound weight gain:imbar

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