Why are Nurses so mean to each other?

I believe that just as in life (real world) that there are negative personalities here at AN....but that is the minority....what I do see is the constant need to for some to be valued in respect to the initials that follow their names (NP,MSN,BSN,RN,LPN)....that is what get's me crazy, many posts relate back to the "heirarchy" of nursing and why one is better than the other....I avoid those threads now because I know how angry I get, not worth my time....that being said, I have found that this is a great place to make friends and learn about my craft....I love it here....

Actually, that was a *student nurse* who posted that.

Yikes...that is a bummer....

I used to be part of a stay at home mom online community. I found that during the summer or when the kids were out on breaks, the moms were extremely harsh and judgmental. I don't know why, but it was a coincidence that was like clock work. Reminds me of this site. I didn't join this site until I took my nclex, I probably would've gotten eaten alive as a student.

I think some nurses feel that they had to go through a lot to get where they are, and they aren't going to make it any easier for the next person...an initiation of some sort. Some nurses might be afraid that if they teach the new nurses the tricks of the trade, they will become better nurses than they are.

...the pupil surpasses the teacher.

Regardless, I enjoy this site and overlook the negativity just like I overlook it at my workplace. Fortunately, it's smaller in comparison to the support.

Actually, that was a *student nurse* who posted that.

I said ”Nurse” in a general sense because I can't tell who is who unless stated.

Here is a question bound to irritate many:

How much of this is dependent upon nursing being a female dominated profession?

I used to be part of a stay at home mom online community. I found that during the summer or when the kids were out on breaks, the moms were extremely harsh and judgmental. I don't know why, but it was a coincidence that was like clock work. Reminds me of this site. I didn't join this site until I took my nclex, I probably would've gotten eaten alive as a student.

I think some nurses feel that they had to go through a lot to get where they are, and they aren't going to make it any easier for the next person...an initiation of some sort. Some nurses might be afraid that if they teach the new nurses the tricks of the trade, they will become better nurses than they are.

...the pupil surpasses the teacher.

Regardless, I enjoy this site and overlook the negativity just like I overlook it at my workplace. Fortunately, it's smaller in comparison to the support.

I recognize that I will have to overlook the negativity and starting here will be a good place. Thanks!

The attitudes on this site are no worse than in real life. Actually, I've noticed it seems like people are a lot nicer here than what I've experienced while working. The whole I'm better than you mentality is really stupid though. I see a lot of that in my new job right now, and I'm starting to think it's because they're intimidated by me and have to "prove" that they're smarter and do things better than I do. I just try my best to ignore them and only talk back to them when they're being completely inappropriate. I know what I'm capable of and I've got nothing to prove to anyone. As far as I'm concerned, they can think what they want. It's not like it matters.

Here is a question bound to irritate many:

How much of this is dependent upon nursing being a female dominated profession?

I almost said something to this effect because I have heard many physicians say this...but I didn't because I don't think it is accurate...not yet anyway!

That's exactly why I'm careful what I post on here and I haven't posted as often as I like. I once read a post where this person was at a really low point in her career and she was feeling like giving up the first few posts were all negative and some just plain mean. I couldn't believe it. I thought to myself, these people are supposed to be nurses, you know, kind, caring, and compassionate, the qualities I think people expect from nurses. But then more supportive people started commenting and it got much better. There are going to be people like this no matter where you are and what field you work in. It's just the world we live in.

I'd say for the same reasons humans in general are "mean" to each other, and the same reasons people in general shoot their mouths off a lot in the internet in particular. I do not believe at all that this phenomena is unique to nursing in the least.

Support comes in a lot of different styles. Just because we don't say what you want to hear doesn't mean you don't need to hear it.. People wont always agree, you wont hear all rainbows all the time, that doesn't mean we don't want you to succeed. If you (general you) not anyone specific, made a med error that harmed someone but are not taking responsibility for the error, many members here will not cuddle you until you admit your fault in the error. Same goes for a nurse in recovery, if all you are worried about it the BON and not your pts safety and your health, we will not cuddle you but encourage you to leave nursing and seek help.

There are many more examples I could give but I hope you understand where I am going.. I rarely see negativity on here just to be mean or put others down. I do see hard truths the OP was not ready to hear re: their own actions.

Here is a question bound to irritate many:

How much of this is dependent upon nursing being a female dominated profession?

That's an interesting sociological question, but what I see here is a tame version of what I see in forums and comment sections all over the Internet. I believe it's a combination of the personality types who are attracted to forums (or a vocal subset of those types), the anonymity (few people here post under their actual name), and the lack of non-verbal queues, including tone and level of voice.

Beyond that, people judge one another based on the quality of their writing, just as, in face-to-face communication, you might judge someone on how they talk, dress, groom themselves, etc. There is also the tendency of people with similar world views to become somewhat cliquish on a forum.

The pre-med forum, the name of which must not be uttered here, is a free-for-all among a demographic that includes a large number of very aggressive alpha males. Moderation there is light, to say the least. Some interesting information is discussed there, among the dogfights. If you are able not to pay attention to the aggression you can gain some useful knowledge there, but the antler smashing does get tedious.