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Discussion

Why do you have to lie?

At the place I work at we have some family members who are notorious for nit-picking. Yesterday I cared for a woman, brushed her teeth, her hair and dressed her. Well lo and behold her daughter comes in and complained to the nurse that her mother's teeth WERE NOT brushed! *scratches head* If I could have, I would have told that woman, "Do not transfer your guilt that you DO NOT or CANNOT care for your mother unto me!" :rolleyes: :smokin: The daughter wants us to change her mother's sheets daily with sheets that she brought in. Resident's bed linens are changed on their shower day or as needed. Ok, fine.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I get that family members expect quality care and are picky. What I don't get is why that woman had to lie. Why? Why? :devil:

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    Was the resident confused? I know I have had patients before that I have showered, washed their hair, cleaned their dentures, fed, the lot. When the relatives come in, they say that they have not had a wash, anything to eat or drink! Normally, the family know if they are confused, though.

    On the other hand, some families just want to complain, whateever you do for mum or dad, and there is not much you can do about that.

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    • Author
    Was the resident confused? I know I have had patients before that I have showered, washed their hair, cleaned their dentures, fed, the lot. When the relatives come in, they say that they have not had a wash, anything to eat or drink! Normally, the family know if they are confused, though.

    On the other hand, some families just want to complain, whateever you do for mum or dad, and there is not much you can do about that.

    The resident has her wits about her. It's her daughter who is confused. :uhoh3: :lol2:

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    That's annoying. Did you show her the wet toothbrush?

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    Good call - show the wet toothbrush

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    • Experts

    If you left a spot of toothpaste on her mom's cheek for evidence showing, she would complain about that. You just can't win with people like this.

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    • Author
    If you left a spot of toothpaste on her mom's cheek for evidence showing, she would complain about that. You just can't win with people like this.

    Very true. All this had transpired while I was showering a resident. I told my charge nurse that we could walk into the resident's room together and take a look at the toothbrush. She said that that was not necessary because the woman is always worked up about something. I know that I shouldn't take things personally but her outright lying bugs me.

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    It can be so fun when a resident's "Helicopter Children" come to visit and criticize every aspect of the care given. :uhoh3:

    I think a lot of the family feel guilty. Their family member is being cared for in a nursing home by someone other than them. I think that nitpicking and pursuing complete and utter perfection are just ways to deal with that guilt. And, when there's nothing wrong, they lie so that they have something to nitpick!

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    Sometimes elderly feel left out from family members and lie to get attentions. Do not freak out just explain to the family member that you did wash her teeth.

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