Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.
allnurses

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Discussion

What should i do? a question of ethics

i have become aware of a difficult situation and would appreciate some feed back on the view of what i should do, if anything about the situation. its fairly long winded but i would appreciate any advice. (sorry about the spelling)

The patient is a married women with physical disability of walking long distances due to an acident years ago.

Her husband works long hours as finantually they are not well off.

She needs carers three times aday to help with personal cares.

A spacific carer started looking after her 1 year ago and they became good friends.

The carer left her husband and moved in with her patient and her family and stoped caring for the patient on a perminant level, doing personal cares only when the agency could not get anyone else due to shortness of staff.

The husband was grateful as being away at work he was concerned that his wife would get lonely.

However it has come to my attention that the carer is sharing a bed with the patient nightly.

The husband got suspisions and accused his wife of having an affare with the carer ( although he did later appologies he says he still feels something is wrong with the relationship between his wife and her carer). The patient says she could never forgive her husband for saying such a thing and is devorsing her husband.

The husband is angry and feels the carer has abused trust. there is a 30 year age gap between the carer and patient and the husband is confused as to what to do if the carer leaves his wife to persue a relationship.

The patient and carer deny a sexual relationship but they sleep nightly together in a single bed and the patient does not like to go anywhere without her carer.

This is basically it and i dont know what to do, if anything.

I dont think what has happened is right but i dont know where i stand in this situation.

Please help

Featured Replies

  • Expert

Is there an ombudsman for the elderly in your area?

If she is receiving some kind of government income, is there a supervisory agency?

If you believe your MIL is not able to do what is best, then her next of kin-her husband? should be the one handling this.

If your MIL is divorcing her husband then most likey there will be a divorce lawyer who will be asking some hard questions. Questions pertaining to finances, and relationships that may be expensive. Seems like your MIL is being used, but if she is of sound mind then she will have to suffer the consequences. It must be hard to watch, but very little you can do about it I think.

It sounds like the caretaker should be investigated for financial and emotional abuse. Your mil has isolated herself from her family and now money is disappearing. Something sure seems rotten in Denmark.

As for the bedsharing, it is definitely inapproproate. The caretaker has crossed the line. From your original post, it seems like she is no longer taking care of mil in an official capacity, so not much will probably be able to be done about that.

Is there an elder abuse agency that could look into the situation? Most of the time they take anonymous reports.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Go to topic listing

Currently Reading 0

  • No registered users viewing this page.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications
Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.