Wednesday April 1 2026

Good morning.

Joe, good luck with the cat.  It is a tough call when they are older and sick.

I guess I did as well as I good limiting phone/computer time.  I got stuff done, made it to the gym.  

Today, will go to hot yoga.  Best friend is coming for lunch.  I'm making wings and veggies since he's low carb.  Hope to mop and get the rest of meal prep done for work.

My GI doc wanted a four week follow up just to see how I was doing post sigmoidoscopy and with the steroids.  I told him I was seeing improvement.  So naturally this morning my GI system decides to act like it did four weeks ago as if there is no improvement at all.  This is why I don't think positive, don't let my hopes up and don't try to manifest healing because I'm always let down.  How uplifting is that?  

I'm smiling when I say that.

Have a great day.

It won't make you feel any better, Tweety, but the bragging I did about my intestinal response to stress being GONE .... has reversed itself now that I am saddled with Nannie again. Fortunately I still have the generic lomotil on standby and have been taking it when the explosions occur. I'm not trying to NOT poop, I just would prefer it didn't require a sudden 'rapid response', because by that time it is too late. ? AUGH!

Nice that it is Wednesday and Nannie was spirited away to daycare by SiL this AM. Of course, that means I will have to go retrieve her, so the evening-time is 'all' I will have to get through, until I can get her in bed. Last night she went to bed earlier, by her own decision; long may it be so!

Gosh, Joe, I feel bad about your kitty. I would have probably folded and had her put down because of the financial state of affairs in my checkbook(s). Unfortunately that has often been my criteria for more vet care. You are a better kitty-dad than I am a kitty-(or dog) momma. And your income is most likely to be higher than my monthly social security check.

I will have to leave a tad earlier to get SWNMNBM, as I need to stop at the store to get 2 or 3, or 1/2 dozen things. I only have 2 things listed in my notebook, but didn't get the other things written down before the high winds in my overactive brain blew things right out of my head when I picked up my pen. Discouraging. But maybe I will remember the other things when I do a quick survey around the kitchen, pen and notebook in hand so I won't have a chance to forget before I write things down! 

 Yeah, yeah, I have laundry and a few more dishes to wash. The fun never ends.

Joe, sending you and your kitty hugs. That is a tough decision to make. 

I am not good at limiting screen time, I admit it. I use dog walks and volunteer gardening to get myself away from such things. But I don't think it impacts my sleep. 

We volunteered at the demo garden this morning, until we got rained out. I finished pruning the roses there, and got fertilizer applied. The new master gardener interns toured the garden, and the veterans got to make a pitch as to why the interns would like to work with us. Of course, this is while I am slogging around in the mud and I have blood on the backs of my hands from rose thorns, LOL.

Last night we helped dd and grandson get the wood to build another gardening bed, and then we went out for Thai food. dd has been having a rough couple of weeks. She went to the ER for cough and SOB, didn't have pneumonia, but they said she had a touch of myocarditis, again. Then, she got stopped for driving without a seatbelt, and realized her car tabs were 2 years expired. The officer said if she emailed a photo of the new tabs to him, he would waive the ticket. But his card is locked in the car and she lost her keys. Oh, and the youngest grandson got bumped by a door that he and his mom were pushing on from either side. A teacher noted, reported it, and now dd is getting a home inspection by CPS. When it rains, it pours. 

dianah, I think we are all at that age when certain aging occurrences "make themselves known" in some of the most unwelcome ways!  So when we are struck with certain unpleasant responses out of the blue, it is a most real shock! Like,"WTH"????

I forgot to mention yesterday that Nannie asked me a most unusual question: "How long does it take you to make a fist?" It gave me pause and I repeated the question before I balled my hand into a fist and said "about that long"   She also referred to her tan shoes as buns, yes, like you get at a bakery. And again she has to show me how she has two pant , two sock, two shoes, two legs which baffles me, She has pretty much of nothing to talk about that made any sense at all, folding in the normal "he's"and she's" without discernible  names. I so want to say: "NANNIE YOU AREN'T MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL!" but it would do no good at all. If I hadn't known her 'before ' person so long of a time (37 years), the fact that her real self is still there under the dementia and sometimes comes to the surface, it probably would not elicit such an aggravated reaction from me. Need I even say she irks the pee-water out of me?

I've had such dementia patients whom I did not know prior to that first meeting and we got long swimmingly well, laughing and enjoying each others viewpoints and company. But Nannie is so far gone mentally now she often sits and stares at the floor with no facial expression at all. But, SiL says she thinks Nannie doing so good, and don't I think so, too? All I can manage is an dubious grunt. But SiL says that's because SHE gets her in the morning when she gets her she is fresh, where as I get her at the end of the day when she is tired. Oh lucky me.

I miss my silly self. I miss time to let creative poetry rise in my gut and brain and heart. And to be able to very succinctly cut to the core of an experience by editing out the stuff that overloads the poem,and then making it say exactly what I want. There is so much more to me than all this crapola that is seen here and has been squashing my SELF out of me in the process. I need to Spring out of the flattened form of Wiley Coyote after he's been flattened, BOING! How do you pop out of the flattened self?

Enough, enough. It is one AM and way to late to be on-line !I have feeling the xanxa is going to float me out of this cutting me  from this funk.

Well, how very phililosopic and depressing. The two people who KNEW me so well were my mother and my hubby, and they are no longer here. So I'll have to find something and some folks who are at least engaging in a life whom I actually can connect with. But so far I have not been able to explore some things I could get in to. The dern schedule has been so moved around, I can't confirm to anything that MIGHT interest me. 

Ah woe is me.