Transfer came through!
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I got the news today that my transfer request has been approved. I'll be leaving neuro trauma ICU for a general medicine floor. I'm really happy about my decision. The staffing ratio will be 5:1 with a max of 6:1. The unit is unmonitored and is a great opportunity for me to step back and perfect basic skills. This is what I need. I think that there's a lot of pressure we new grads put on ourselves to go right into the fire of critical care right out of NS. Granted, some do quite well. I am not one of them. Was it a mistake? Maybe not. I did learn quite a lot about nursing and about myself.
I see this as a positive move though I know I'll be placed in the position of having to defend my decision to my fellow ICU nurses. It will be considered the consequence of failure. This is the dillema I'll be faced with until I actually depart next month. There will be whispers and gossip. I'm not looking forward to it. I don't feel like I've failed. I just feel like I learned that ICU is not for me.