+ TPAPN Experience

I have had an okay experience myself. My current CM is nice, but I have to remind myself they are not my friend. I have seen them turn on people or suspect the worst of you in situations. It has not happened to me yet, but I am always on edge whenever I deal with them. My goal is to interact with them as little as possible. We all cope and deal with it differently! My therapist that runs my aftercare group is my true advocate and the one I feel is in my corner. She communicates with my monitoring program often to give them updates on my progress.

I have always said that there is a place for programs like these and there is a ‘type’ of person (that’s not the best choice of word, I realize but I can’t come up with a better one right this second) that benefits from them. I do believe that the initial goal at the inception was noble...get nurses back to work in a safe manner that helps them and keeps the patient population safe at the same time.
Unfortunately, having sold out to the god of profit making and diving headlong into the notion that 12 step credo is the only fix for all woes, addiction or not, a perfect storm has been created to where these thing do more damage than good for most people. Are monitoring programs still necessary? Yes, absolutely. Do they need to change....1000x yes.

I survived one of the more draconian monitoring programs in the country (however, I will say most folks in monitoring programs are of the opinion that theirs is the most draconian, but....). I endured nearly 6 years of lies, maltreatment and deception. I lost an unholy amount of money and nearly my career. I was labeled something I am not and forced into treatment in a very dangerous setting under what I would call the antithesis of informed consent. I could go on. I had a therapist (who is very familiar with the program describe my experience as ‘the worst case of abuse by them he’d ever seen.’) The fact that I survived it, am back in nursing and not running a register in Walmart or dead is due to a combo of my own sheer stubbornness, good family support, financial resources to fight them that not many are fortunate to have and some awesome mental health counselors that I sought out with zero help from that ****show of a program. Sadly, I had reached out to them for help and pretty much signed myself up for crucifixion. Looking back, if I had only known.....

So if you had a positive experience in a program, great, you were fortunate. Just please understand that in it’s current form, it was at the expense of a lot of nurses who neither asked for, needed nor deserved the abuse. For many, the end result was not like yours or mine.

Congratulations on surviving that awful road, truly sorry you had to endure all that pain.

I'm just starting my program, also self reported because of a recent mental illness diagnosis and not any substance/alcohol use/abuse and nothing to do with a work related incident, thank god!

I too agree that the system needs to change but solely for peace of mind decided that I was going to accept what the contract offered and not fight it because in my case, it would be counter-productive. It's hard work having to comply with every single requirement; for ex: feels very restricting and punitive to check-in daily and cringe when I have to go be drug tested at my own expense and it's NOT fair but to me, it's worth going down this road rather than fighting it.

I hope to join other nurses who have gone through a similar path so that we can brainstorm alternatives but for now I have to comply without being in 100% agreement with the program.

Hope you have a great day!

WOW! I totally hear everything being said here! Would love to talk.

What are testing logistics? I travel frequently - Are there sites EVERYWHERE I can go to? How far do I need to be driving. What if I need to test on a 7a-7p work day, etc. Agreeing to a year of testing is one thing but am I also agreeing to staying at home in the same town for a year and quitting my job so I can jump through hoops? Do you get what I'm saying? I just can't agree up front to something that I don't know what I'm agreeing to.

ALSO: I find the official hand sanitizer stance REALLY unethical. 

I know it's a CYA thing but pressuring nurses to not use a facilities' readily available hand sanitizer is NOT COOL! There are few sinks on my floor and we have to sanitize before going in and out of patient rooms and this is audited with the hall cameras. THE.FACT.THAT.TPAPN.MAKES.ME.WORRY.ABOUT.THIS.IS.GROSS but YEAH: any insight from someone that's dealt with the program would be awesome!

THANKS

I would ask your case manager about the testing but I usually get around 3 a month here in my state.  If you get one on a day you have to work, don’t know what to say other than you have to go to a patient first or med express something like that and do it.  Having to work isn’t an excuse to not test if you’re picked.    I know someone that talked his hospital lab into doing the drug screen for him while he was working at the hospital.  He would just go downstairs and test, but not sure how he worked that out. 

I was really careful about the hand sanitizer at first, but now I don’t even care.  I’ve been in the program for 2.5 years and never had a positive alcohol screen and I use it probably 50+ times a day.  I will say though the days I have a screen I won’t use hand sanitizer that day just in case, but the other days, like I said, I really don’t care anymore.

bboy45, what state are you in? what were the longest testing hours at the sites available to you? what program / track were you in that was 2.5 years?

I'm asking all these questions because my mind jumps to worst case scenario, and I've read some horrible things about case managers ... and what if I have a super bogus one? BUT I CAN'T LET FEAR DRIVE MY DECISIONS and your response is totally right, so thank you!

THANK YOU for addressing hand sanitizer! very helpful! I'm sure once I get in a groove things will be fine. kind of wish I could take a baseline test before signing my contract ?

this is all super helpful! I will pay it forward to nurses down the road once I get my taste at the program

Who was your case manager?

On 6/8/2020 at 1:18 PM, catsmeow1972 said:

I have always said that there is a place for programs like these and there is a ‘type’ of person (that’s not the best choice of word, I realize but I can’t come up with a better one right this second) that benefits from them. I do believe that the initial goal at the inception was noble...get nurses back to work in a safe manner that helps them and keeps the patient population safe at the same time.
Unfortunately, having sold out to the god of profit making and diving headlong into the notion that 12 step credo is the only fix for all woes, addiction or not, a perfect storm has been created to where these thing do more damage than good for most people. Are monitoring programs still necessary? Yes, absolutely. Do they need to change....1000x yes.

I survived one of the more draconian monitoring programs in the country (however, I will say most folks in monitoring programs are of the opinion that theirs is the most draconian, but....). I endured nearly 6 years of lies, maltreatment and deception. I lost an unholy amount of money and nearly my career. I was labeled something I am not and forced into treatment in a very dangerous setting under what I would call the antithesis of informed consent. I could go on. I had a therapist (who is very familiar with the program describe my experience as ‘the worst case of abuse by them he’d ever seen.’) The fact that I survived it, am back in nursing and not running a register in Walmart or dead is due to a combo of my own sheer stubbornness, good family support, financial resources to fight them that not many are fortunate to have and some awesome mental health counselors that I sought out with zero help from that ****show of a program. Sadly, I had reached out to them for help and pretty much signed myself up for crucifixion. Looking back, if I had only known.....

So if you had a positive experience in a program, great, you were fortunate. Just please understand that in it’s current form, it was at the expense of a lot of nurses who neither asked for, needed nor deserved the abuse. For many, the end result was not like yours or mine.

I agree 100%... Were you in RAMP by any chance?? Because it sounds like that program. One of my best friends even committed suicide, this is how miserable they made us. It was awful! It got to the point when we had to check in AA meetings by using our GPS from our phones. I hates that program, NOTHING positive came out of there for me. I had never had a DUI, never took drugs from work, never showed up to work impaired, never even been hungover. I feel that their one size fits all approach was awful. 

catsmeow1972 said:

I have always said that there is a place for programs like these and there is a 'type' of person (that's not the best choice of word, I realize but I can't come up with a better one right this second) that benefits from them. I do believe that the initial goal at the inception was noble...get nurses back to work in a safe manner that helps them and keeps the patient population safe at the same time.
Unfortunately, having sold out to the god of profit making and diving headlong into the notion that 12 step credo is the only fix for all woes, addiction or not, a perfect storm has been created to where these thing do more damage than good for most people. Are monitoring programs still necessary? Yes, absolutely. Do they need to change....1000x yes.

I survived one of the more draconian monitoring programs in the country (however, I will say most folks in monitoring programs are of the opinion that theirs is the most draconian, but....). I endured nearly 6 years of lies, maltreatment and deception. I lost an unholy amount of money and nearly my career. I was labeled something I am not and forced into treatment in a very dangerous setting under what I would call the antithesis of informed consent. I could go on. I had a therapist (who is very familiar with the program describe my experience as 'the worst case of abuse by them he'd ever seen.’) The fact that I survived it, am back in nursing and not running a register in Walmart or dead is due to a combo of my own sheer stubbornness, good family support, financial resources to fight them that not many are fortunate to have and some awesome mental health counselors that I sought out with zero help from that ****show of a program. Sadly, I had reached out to them for help and pretty much signed myself up for crucifixion. Looking back, if I had only known.....

So if you had a positive experience in a program, great, you were fortunate. Just please understand that in it's current form, it was at the expense of a lot of nurses who neither asked for, needed nor deserved the abuse. For many, the end result was not like yours or mine.

Well said!