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Question

Toxic Management

I have a manager that slanders her employees to each other. Serious slander that can effect finding another job, like the use of alcohol and drugs. For example, this manager also encourages employees to disclose personal information, as well as asking employees to spy on other employees (ie 'are Jo and Jane having an affair?') and then quickly disseminates this information throughout the department. Morale is low.

No one feels they can list this job as experience on a resume or list the manager as a resource. Hours are cut for punishment. Performance reviews are negative across the board. Reporting to HR seems to go nowhere. Is the only choice to leave?

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    • Featured Replies

    • Admin

    Navigating a Toxic Management Environment

    It is incredibly draining to work in an environment where the person meant to lead you is actually the one undermining your professional reputation and privacy. Dealing with slander and "spy" tactics creates a level of psychological stress that no nurse should have to endure while trying to provide patient care.

    When HR fails to act, it often means the culture is systemic or the manager is protected by higher-ups. In these cases, protecting your license and your future career must become your primary focus. If you stay, you risk being the target of a false report to the Board of Nursing or having your professional name permanently tarnished in your local market.

    • Document everything externally. Keep a detailed log at home, not on work computers, of dates, times, and specific witnesses to the slanderous comments or requests to spy. This documentation is vital if you ever need to file for unemployment or defend your license against false accusations.
    • Control the narrative with your network. Reach out to former supervisors or colleagues from other units who can vouch for your clinical skills. You do not need this specific manager as a reference if you have a solid history with other reputable professionals who can speak to your character.
    • Quietly initiate an exit strategy. Start applying elsewhere now while you are still employed. When interviewers ask why you are leaving, focus on seeking a "more professional growth environment" rather than venting about the toxicity, as this keeps you looking like the high-road professional.

    Staying in a place that uses hours as punishment and fabricates performance issues will eventually lead to burnout or worse. Your mental health and your nursing license are worth far more than any single job.

    Have you started looking at other units or facilities in your area yet, or are you worried about how to explain the short tenure on your resume?

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    Hmm, sounds a lot like bullying and insecurity but that sounds about right as far as nursing. I mean it's like going into/visiting certain cities where it's known to be scammy and you get scammed LOL like, welp here we are. It's a shame to say but I believe ALL of US will encounter people like this in our nursing careers. What's terrible here is that she is your leader/administrator in a powerful role that she completely lacks the skills for. Not everything that looks great on paper is good in person.

    I agree with Admin above if you are not already keeping documents/paper trail/receipts etc, off site of course, no time like the present. I hate for you to have to leave your job if you really like it. That said, are there not enough of your coworkers (with good sense) that could come together and come up with a professional conversation/solution and report said person for their unprofessional conduct?

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    • Experts

    Objectively documenting words and behaviors and submitting these reports to the chain of command is a prudent action. Once the internal chain of command is exhausted, we can then go to outside bulldog resources, such as the department of labor.

    Case in point: I was belittled and bullied by an older nurse with less seniority early in my career. I followed the chain of command, reporting the incidents to my supervisor and when the situation was not resolved, went to the DON. I was put on the hot seat and resigned my position. An adjudicator for the office of employment security ruled in my favor, citing unfair working conditions and I was awarded benefits.

    In the ensuing decades of my career, this sort of situation, from abuse from the higher ups to insubordination occurred from time to time. If the situations were tolerable with no gross ramifications experienced, I merely objectively reported and submitted my report following the chain of command. Sometimes the offenders were reprimanded, sometimes not.

    One truth was found in a quote by Edgar Cayce: "No one can get someone into more trouble than they can get themselves into".

    It all comes out in the wash.

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    "It's not that people are talking behind my back that worries me. It's that they're so comfortable doing it TO YOU that concerns me."

    Just a phrase I heard long before nursing was even a blip on my radar. It rings a certain truth that many are hesitant to hear.

    "I have a manager that slanders her employees to each other." And that is what made me think of the phrase above. To me, the manager acting like this is the primary problem but, the people who allow themselves to be an active audience to it are just as in the wrong. She, the manager, is not going to change. But everyone else doesn't need to be so involved in it with her. That just puts gas on the fire.

    In your shoes, I would always have my guard up around the manager and I'd be extra "professional" with her at all times. She'd would not, at all, get me pulled into the behavior with her as an audience. And I certainly wouldn't contribute to it either.

    With that said, the manager is not going to change. People like this for some odd reason are just allowed to drone on and on doing what they do and it never gets to the point where the people who could fix the problem wish to do so.

    And that brings me to my second point. It's like I tell my friends who are stuck in dead end (and/or abusive) romantic relations. They (the boyfriend or girlfriend) are not going to change. There comes a time where you have to decide to accept things as is, or move on. And yes, I still stand by me assessment that your manager is not going to change. Not trying to be flippant, I do appreciate that it's hard to do that but, it's the only option you have if the powers that be aren't interested in fixing the problem.

    Voting with your feet can be a very powerful protest at the right time.

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    Part of this manager's behavior (trying to get employees to "spy" on each other, delving for details about an alleged affair between two employees) is simply part of being a terrible manager who should not be in charge of Dunkin' on a slow day, much less a unit full of sick patients.

    But part of this could come back to bite this manager in the butt legally. By spreading rumors about employees allegedly being on drugs (with presumably no other evidence of the employee being impaired), the manager is giving the employee a reason to take her to court for slander. Additionally, if the employee actually showed signs of practicing impaired, that is the manager's job to deal with. Asking the other employees specific questions (possibly with someone from HR as a witness) would be part of dealing with it. Gossiping and spreading rumors with other employees would be the opposite of dealing with it. On top of this, Substance Use Disorder is a protected disability. To be clear, this does not mean the ADA allows an employee to show up to work high/intoxicated. It means that, for example, if an employee has a history of alcoholism but is stable in treatment (example: taking Naltrexone, attending AA meetings, etc) and has never come to work intoxicated, it would be against the law for the manager to use the employee's alcoholism to make employment decisions. ADA protects not just employees who have a record of having a protected disability, but also those who are perceived as having a disability. By spreading rumors about employee drug use (without there being any concerns about the employee coming into work impaired), the manager is making it clear that she perceives the employee as having a disability (even if she is not addressing this perceived disability in a proper manner). Going by just the manager's perception that the employee is on drugs, without any objective facts backing this up, can put the company in hot water legally.

    Your manager sounds like a piece of work.

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