Symapathy is not easy

That nurse was a fool. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a person, but we're all not like that. 'Sympathy/empathy/considerate-to-people's emotions-pathy' is at the core of nursing (healthcare in general). Seems that nurse has a serious innability to communicate effectively with families in crisis.

Another example of "it's easy to be a nurse....but its hard to be a GOOD nurse..".

I do hope you gave this dork a piece of your mind...

I've never seen anyone approach a bereaved family all bubbly. As a matter of fact, when when a bereaved family is on the unit, even if we didn't know the patient, most stop by to offer condolences...everybody, nurses, techs, housekeeping, docs.

Although some decisions need to be made quickly-autopsy, organ donation, funeral home) we try not to make the family feel rushed. We've been known to hold the body in the room for long hours so family could get in from out of town. (not overnighters, but within a few hours) Grief is not something to be rushed.

wow, that's an awful way to be treated at such a difficult time.

that rn needs a reality check. my experience was the complete opposite, thankfully. first let me say the rns at the kent county hospital er in warwick, ri are the best. altho the surgery for ca was a success, the post-op infection was what sent my husband to the er. we had had the discussion abt dnr/dni/cmo and i knew that's what he wanted. course at a time like that all reason flies out the window, as does nine yrs of nsg.

i told the rescue guys (the capt was one of the guys responding and he asked me outright what the orm [orders for resusitative measures] status was) even before we realized how serious things were. once at the er, they had a tough time getting an iv in and drawing blood, so after an hour in the waiting area i "put on my rn hat" and insisted on going back to be with him. the rns were great, explaining that they were having a problem (and didn't take offense when i pointed out a vein i thought they might get, which they did), and getting me a chair, and then getting the md when i had a bunch of questions abt the labs.

long story short, my husband died within an hour and a half of my going back to be with him. the rns realizing he wasn't going to make it, made sure i had privacy, that i was a comfortable as possible, and gave me time to say goodbye and be with him a while after he died. then they rallied around me, making sure i was okay to drive home (it was 0300 when he died), and offering me a shoulder, decaf coffee, even chocolate birthday cake. they talked to me gently abt calling a funeral home, with an arm around me shoulder, kleenex in hand.

i cannot say enuf good things abt the rn staff there. i make sure i convey that same attitude, sympathy and empathy to pts and families when i work.

I am so sorry for your loss. That nurse was completely out of line. I believe that nurse was not the rule but, the except to the rule. As the other post stated, I hope you will send a note to the administration so that this will not have to another family. Losing a close family member is so hard. My prayers go out to you and your family.

I am truly sorry for your grave loss. My sincere condolences.

This nurse was an exception...but sometimes i wonder what my expression is when I have to tell the family such awful news..

I never know how to position my face..I don't want to look horrified or tragic and freak everybody out even if thats exactly how I feel..sometimes I am furious but I don't want that the family to know that the idiot resident could have done a better job...

I have a bad time with death...I think my families know I take it very personally but that moment when you walk in the door is incredibly hard and weird and uncomfortable