Starting another program, kids or school,help?

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I began an anesthesia program in 2005 and had to withdraw after a horrific divorce. I completed 4 semesters and had a great GPA and clinical skills.

Since withdrawing , I have relocated to another state and got married. I was accepted to another program and ended up giving up my spot when I learned I was pregnant with twins. They are now 22 months old and I really want to go back to school. I loved the pofession and cannot see myself continuing on as a nurse in any other field.

I have enormous student loan debt and zero family support regarding child care now and for if/when I am lucky enough to get into another program.

I need to retake the GRE since my scores are more than 5 years old and I am "updating my ICU experience" for the program to which I intend to apply. This ICU job is costing me just about all of my paycheck just to cover my childcare.

I plan on getting a live in au pair/ nanny so I can get through the program. I am wondering if I should wait until my children are older and in school to return to graduate school. I think about the profession and miss it daily. I know it will be best for my family in the long run for me to do this, I jut do not know if I should apply for next year or wait until my children are older My husband works 6 days a week/ 12 hours/day. He has no idea what this will entail and I do not expect any understanding/support from him. He is wonderful, just uneducated and will not understand why I cannot be supermom and go to school. I know everyone here is extremel busy but I have worried myslef to death over this and I have no one to talk to who can give me constructive/useful advice.

Please, anyone who can offer suggestions or who have had a similar experience, please share.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

I'm feeling the same exact way. I am tired of living life as an LVn and I want to move forward but I think I'm afraid of not having enough support to make it through school. Thanks for posting this question and I am looking forward to hearing the answers.

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I've been wanting to be a nurse for 10 years now. I first decided when I had my first baby but had just graduated with a BS in education so I had to give that a try first. Did that for a few years then tried to take the prereq's but due to kids (three at the time) and working full time as a teacher, I couldn't do it. Finally, after having baby #4 two years ago, I was able to stop working and do the prereq's. Just the prereq's mind you, not nursing yet. THat was difficult in its self because of no child care. Now that my baby has just turned 2, he'll be going to daycare so that I can finally go to nursing school. My other boys are 7, 12, and 14. Thinking back, I should have done this so much sooner but I couldn't or didn't because I didn't want to cause friction, if you know what I mean. I know that it'll be hard with 4 kids but I have to make it work. So I suggest that if you don't have to work, do it now while the kids are small. My older boys are so busy and I'm constantly running up and down. And if you already did 4 semesters, you know what the work load would be and if you think you could handle it, go for it. Good luck!

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Well........... I can really only give you my opinion as a mother of twins (mine are much older now). I found the toddler years to be the most energy-draining time of all. I would probably have failed if I had attempted something like anesthesia school during that time. It was hard enough just to work full-time (husband and I worked opposite shifts), and as I understand it, the schooling you're talking about pretty much takes over your life.

My advice is to wait, and enjoy those little ones while they are little :). Before long, they will be in school and you might get freed up a bit more.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Oncology.

If your home life is extremely demanding (and it sounds like it is) and your school life is extremely demanding (and it no doubt will be), there's going to be a breaking point somewhere where something is going to have to give.

Your children come first... Not only do they need childcare that is expensive no matter who is providing it (unless you have family who will do it for free and you said you do not), they are at the age where you may miss many developmental milestones because you'll either be in school or doing homework. This will be something you will have to sacrifice to make a long-term improvement for yourself and your family, and you and you alone will have to weigh the immediate and long-term consequences and rewards of that.

I do not want to discourage you in the least, but, at the risk of sounding fatalistic, from what you shared of your situation, it sounds like adding something extremely demanding like school may not be the best thing for your family right now, with two young children and a husband who works almost every day of the week. If it is not something you HAVE to do, weigh the consequences/rewards and decide what is best for you and your family.

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Quite frankly, your biggest obstacle is not the demands of your family, but your ability to get accepted into another anesthesia program after leaving twice. As I understand it, the odds of getting in a second time after withdrawing are VERY slim, let alone a third time. You beat the odds once, perhaps you can do it again, but it definitely will not be easy. You'll need to convince multiple people that you truly have the passion and determination to make it work this time. An admissions committee will see you as someone not likely to complete a program, thus admitting you would be taking a spot away from someone more likely to finish--that's what you have to overcome. I'd concentrate on getting current ICU experience and talking to program directors about your situation. Get their opinions and advice, ask whether anyone has ever been admitted a third time, basically leave no stone unturned. It will likely take time, if it happens at all. Use that time to get your finances in the best shape possible and put in place contingency plans that will make sure you can weather any problems that arise while in school. You're living proof that life crises happen at a higher rate while in anesthesia school.

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Specializes in Nurse Anesthesiology.

Honestly you've tried twice now and didn't go through with it. If I were deciding who was accepted I wouldn't give you another chance. Who's to say something else won't pop up again. No offense, but I've seen people go through all of that and still make it through, not sure if a third chance is deserving.

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Thanks SRNAmom for your depressing post. I did not start a second program. I was accepted into a second program. After careful consultation with the program director,I made a difficult but wise choice not starting a second program and having twins. It was that or abortion, I am glad I chose the former.

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I would like to hear advice on motherhood, family, and school instead of judgemental opinions on whether or not I should be accepted into school.

I never thought there was a chance I would not finish. I hope you all realize that you are not invincible and you never know what may happen in your personal life that could cause you to withdraw from your program. I would appreciate some support since I have had enough criticism. Only when you have graduated, passed your boards, and are sitting on an admissions panel, will I consider your opinons.

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I hope you all realize that you are not invincible and you never know what may happen in your personal life that could cause you to withdraw from your program.

My aim was not to be depressing but brutally honest. I've just finished a program and passed my boards. Everyone I know who has been through anesthesia school has had awful things happen in their personal life while in the program. There have been several unintended pregnancies, deaths of immediate family members, major financial problems, divorces, etc. The worst things can and will happen while you're in anesthesia school. But of all these people, not one of them withdrew. Nor were there abortions. That's the reality too. You made the choices you felt were best for you, and I certainly don't condemn you for that. But that doesn't mean you'll get accepted into anesthesia school again. The anesthesia world is a small close-knit community. There may be other program directors who know you gave up your second chance. My advice still stands. Yes, get current ICU experience. But you really really need to talk to program directors about your situation. If you get accepted again it will be because you've convinced them to take another chance on you, and that will take a compelling story, lots of persistence and a great deal of luck. What about the program you were accepted to most recently?

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Spode,

I sent you a pm

Pete495

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Spode,

Nurse Anesthesia school is doable with young children. I have two children and they were ages 2years and the other just 9 weeks old when I began my program in Fall '08. There is another mother in my class with three children at the start of the program who delivered her fourth child near the end of our first semester and will deliver her fifth baby near of the end of our last semester! So YES, it is possible. In many ways, I think going to school while our children are so young is easier than waiting until they are older because they don't attend school or have many extra curricular activities that they need to attend.

My husband works full-time so we have had a live-in care-giver for the children and that has been a super huge help! You might consider a live-in nanny or an au pair, or daycare if its available and has hours that will work for you.

I strongly suggest that one of the main things you do is look carefully at the scheduling and clinical sites of programs you are considering. The program I am in has all its clinicals in one city so I don't have to relocate every time I need to rotate to a new clinical site and I never have to be away from my children overnight. The hours I am in class or clinical are pretty much the way a full-time job would be, but then after class or clinical I do need to put in some study time, which I often do over a couple of hours right after class or clinical and then again either after the children go to bed or early in the morning before anyone in the house wakes up.

I gotta get back to studying, but PM me if you have any other questions.

Adonai

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