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Discussion

Quantum Shift?

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So here I am, a new graduate as of December, in my first job in this new role of RN as of two weeks ago and I am THRILLED. Truly I am. I look at my blues (the uniform for nurses in this part of the U.S.), my badge with RN on it and I feel immensely proud and accomplished.

But in my off hours, I find I am very tired, very quiet and kind of just want to be left alone. I am struggling with getting up in the morning and going into work - I had to do that with school and clinicals, but apparently not having to do it every single day spoiled me a bit. I am stunned with how much I still do not know and the sense of responsibility descends heavily on me from time to time along with a healthy dose of fear. I find myself a bit overwhelmed at how social life has become since my internship started. School was social, but never quiet like this. And I find when I get home the task of having to make dinner and get the house cleaned up and tending to various tasks to be a little bit exhausting. At work I am "in between", not really at my real job yet on the floor, which will be 12 hour night shifts, but currently working 8 hour days in the classroom, learning EKG strips and core measures, etc. Even during college we didn't sit through 8 hour classes all day every day!

I am sure I am just having a bit of culture shock. I spent so much time in school imagining graduation, pinning etc. But very little time imagining what comes next after school is out. I am sure this is pretty normal from what I read about, yet am still kind of shocked it is happening to ME. lol! I find I just want to be alone a lot of the time and am doing a lot of working out, taking baths and withdrawing into my computer world. It feels like such a quantum shift from being a nursing student. I am struggling with an urge to eat my stress in unhealthy carbs and a desire to just be alone. I don't feel depressed or unhealthy really...just kind of shellshocked I think.

Anyone else finding the world after school gets out to be a little bit strange?

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    I relate. My three months of orientation, which will be up after this week (yikes), has not consisted of any classroom time-it has all been on the floor. To be honest, my program was a good foundation, yet nothing could prepare me for the time management that is necessary to take care of seven patients. Also, the twelve hour shifts are doing somewhat of a number on my body. Granted, I am thirty-nine and I am sure that has some to do with it, b ut when I work twelve hours, then stay up to two hours to finish the enormous amount of charting we have, I end up sleeping maybe five hours and then back for another round. On my days off, I just sleep the whole first day. I am so unbelievably drained not only physically but mentally and emotionally too. I find that I need some time alone because the med surge floor can be way overstimulating to my senses. I still do love nursing, dont get me wrong, but it is very exhausting and the hardest work I have ever known. It does not help that there is so much charting to do, and some of it is very redondent in nature. However, seasoned nurses on my floor keep telling me that it will all get easier with time, and I trust that when my first year anniversary of starting my RN career rolls around, I will be much more at ease with everything-I hope~

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    welcome to nursing. your first year is like that! it does get better, and it does get easier. i was so scared/exhausted/drained that i cried all the way home after every shift . . . and all the way to work on some days! but it gradually got easier and now i cannot imagine doing anything else.

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    I think that is what makes it feel so strange. I can understand my withdrawal a bit if I were depressed or something, but mostly I am just conflicted between excited and scared. Thanks for weighing in - it helps!

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    not.done.yet - Could you please send me a p.m.? I am unable to send you one because I haven't posted enough, I believe. I have seen some of your posts about Collin. Is that where you graduated? If you don't mind, could I ask you some questions about the program and pick your brain a little?

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