Tclamp

Not sure what I am looking for here. I know I am grateful for the anonymity. Why? Because I am so ashamed. I feel guilty. I feel anxiety and loss of sleep because I am questioning my purpose. I work as a contingent float nurse for a large health system, multiple sites, all getting hit very hard. We are on target to become the next US epicenter. I have not worked since early March. My husband is a frontline worker and we have 3 small children, one with asthma. As the governor pleads for volunteers and workers, I feel as though I am not doing my part. I feel pain and fear for my nursing community, but am putting my family first. I do not have faith in the recommendations provided by the CDC that are created based on lack of supplies. I do not have faith in a healthcare system that doesn’t want us to wear any type of protection (no homemade masks allowed yet) when dealing with any patient/ the assumed healthy population. I am a darn good nurse, I care greatly and work hard, but this....THIS, I am having a hard time defining myself as a nurse right now. Mother, wife,...coward. I might quit. I am not sure, I have a few weeks to pray for more supplies and strength. I would love to be considered one of the heroes, but not a martyr.And sending my kids to stay with someone else is not an option at this point, as my husband has been working. Thanks for reading. God bless everyone

I once had a patient break the sharps box off the wall and walk out into the hallway with her bare arm stuck inside of the container. She was looking for left over drugs in the container of hundreds of used dirty needle and syringes. After getting her safe and settled down..as I'm hooking up her IV, she states..."Make sure you scrub the port with alcohol first, I don't want to get an infection."!!!!

Hi! Jumping in here...Thank you for sharing your story CandyGyrl. Would you reveal which company you are working for? I am also considering a switch from contingent bedside (that $ tho!) to utilization/case management with an HMO... I had an interview on Thursday, am waiting to hear back, but am getting cold feet in the meantime. I currently make my own schedule with a great hourly rate. But that's it. I am no longer satisfied with bedside nursing. But then are horror stories about some of these WAH positions and the company I interviewed with does not have great glass door reviews. However, I am remaining positive and trying to plan for the future by embracing any new opportunity. Uggg! Feeling stressed. I suppose I should wait and see if I am even offered the jobí ½í¸