Catcar1963

I was told by a state-run "back to work" program that you do not need to disclose anything unless you are asking for an accommodation. Maybe that's just my state,

I have a different case with the company. Surprisingly, my supervisor and the DON were very supportive. The mom frim the problem case called me last week, begging me to come back. I told her it's not going to happen, and she said "I know you'll be back!" Uh, NO.

I'm so sorry you got fired. They knew because my patient's mother kept making comments about bipolar people and how terrible they were. After listening to her misinformation for 2 years, I tried to educate her, saying that not all BP people were loony toons, and that many have successful, productive lives. At that time the mom and I were pretty close, which was I mistake I regret. When I got manic this summer, the police were looking for me and went to their house. The mom then told the other 3 nurses what was going on. Not right, and then the company gave away my hours at her request. When she wanted me back and I said no, she commented that it was sad she lost an excellent nurse to BP. I said no, you lost a great nurse to judgement and gossip. I'm working a different case now, but the mom from the case I left still calls me now and then begging get me to come back. Not happening!

"Black and white" for us was MOM and cascara

Having to wear a nursing cap. If we forgot our cap, we used a coffee filter secured with Bobbie pins. Wearing a dress with those white support stockings.

Update- - Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate everyone's point of view. Even the comments that stung a little helped me to realistically evaluate the situation. I met with my supervisor and DON, and told them it was a bad idea for me to return to that case. they were very understanding and encouraging, and found a new assignment for me that day. They also agreed that it was best for the supervisor to call the family to inform them that I wasn't returning. The mom did call me, begging me to return, and I respectfully declined without any drama. She said she was sad that she "lost a great nurse to bipolar". I told her that it wasn't the bipolar , but me sharing too much information, and all the gossip that followed. I felt empowered by making a healthy change and leaving on good terms. I start my new assignment this week, and will bring all the lessons I learned with me. Thanks to all!

I've been a nurse for 31 years. I still work, but for lots of reasons I only work part time. My friend has a housekeeping business, and I've been helping her on a regular basis. Honestly, at this point I like cleaning more than nursing. I get loads of satisfaction and lots of exercise. I'll never regret being a nurse, but there are other jobs out there where you might be happier. Don't be afraid to try something completely different, you may be surprised. Good luck!

Quit!

Thanks for all the advice. I do think that I crossed the lines of professionalism getting too close to the mom. The more I think about it, the more I think I need to move on to a different case. If I did go back, I think it would be stressful dealing with my real or perceived discrimination from my coworkers, and I will always feel like they are just waiting for me to trip up. That in itself is enough to make me think it wouldn't do anything good for me. That was my first long term home care case, after spending 25 years in ICUs, PACUs and cardiac units. Live and learn, I guess.

Sour Lemon, mom has been in touch with me frequently, asking me to return. It started when she said "I can't wait for you to come back, even though (nurses A, B, and C) don't think you should come back. But (expletive) them, none of them take care of (pt) half as well as you do". And I'm not just trying to throw the other nurses under the bus.

Getting my info from the mother, who can't wait for me to come back (her words, she's calling me)

Not that it matters, but her child is an adult. I was the only full time nurse caring for him for the last 3 years. Spending 3 years in someone's home, the mom and I got close, and in retrospect, too personal. Just because I needed 2 months off doesn't mean I am unqualified or dangerous to a patient. I knew I needed help, and I got it. Funny, they held my job for 5 months when I broke my leg, but 2 months off with a mental illness is turning out to be a death sentence for my career. They are both medical problems, but still, in 2016 it isn't seen that way.

The mom told me that the 3 nurses said "it would be a big mistake" to let me return to my job.

I agree, don't disclose unless you have to. I have bipolar also, and have had a very successful career for 25 years. The last 5 years have been hell, mostly because of lateral discrimination from uninformed coworkers. Good luck and congratulations.

Yes, broke my leg leaving a patient's home. Surgery, a month in a rehab facility, and 3 more months non-weight bearing. Funny thing is, I was subbing for the regular nurse on the case, who broke her ankle at the same house the week before.

That's a really good question. In 30-plus years, I don't recall ever being asked those questions for license renewals, and I've been licensed in 3 states.

I have been an RN for over 30 years, and I currently work in home care. I also have bipolar disorder, which is very well controlled. Recently I was hospitalized because I was getting suicidal. The day I realized I was in trouble, I called my patient's mother and asked her to come home. It was a difficult recovery, and I missed 2 months of work. The mom knew I had bipolar disorder (big mistake on my part). My company gave my job away after 2 weeks, even though they held my job in the past when I had surgery and was out for a month. Not nice, but legal. Now I am healthy, and there are open hours on my job. My employer is OK with my return, and I do have a doctor's note stating I am fit to work. My problem is that the other 3 nurses on my case are telling the mother she should not let me come back. I don't even know 2 of the nurses, and the third takes daily medication for depression. Keep in mind, I was employee of the month earlier this year, for the entire southwest region of my state. I have NEVER endangered my patient or anyone else for that matter. I am taking issue with my coworkers discussing my personal health information and deciding if I am fit for duty. I have an appointment scheduled with my supervisor next week, but I'm looking for some advice as to what to say. I just want my coworkers to mind their own business and avoid making the work environment hostile. I hadn't been hospitalized in many years, and even if I was, it doesn't make me a bad or dangerous nurse. Help me please!

I have been an RN for over 30 years, and I currently work in home care. I also have bipolar disorder, which is very well controlled. Recently I was hospitalized because I was getting suicidal. The day I realized I was in trouble, I called my patient's mother and asked her to come home. It was a difficult recovery, and I missed 2 months of work. The mom knew I had bipolar disorder (big mistake on my part). My company gave my job away after 2 weeks, even though they held my job in the past when I had surgery and was out for a month. Not nice, but legal. Now I am healthy, and there are open hours on my job. My employer is OK with my return, and I do have a doctor's note stating I am fit to work. My problem is that the other 3 nurses on my case are telling the mother she should not let me come back. I don't even know 2 of the nurses, and the third takes daily medication for depression. Keep in mind, I was employee of the month earlier this year, for the entire southwest region of my state. I have NEVER endangered my patient or anyone else for that matter. I am taking issue with my coworkers discussing my personal health information and deciding if I am fit for duty. I have an appointment scheduled with my supervisor next week, but I'm looking for some advice as to what to say. I just want my coworkers to mind their own business and avoid making the work environment hostile. I hadn't been hospitalized in many years, and even if I was, it doesn't make me a bad or dangerous nurse. Help me please!

You are mistaken. I carefully considered everyone's thoughts. That's why I posted in the first place. Even if I didn't agree with everyone's ideas, I respect all opinions. I'm not the one who labeled your thoughts as reprehensible or terrifying. I think there is something to be learned from everyone's perspective, even those in the minority. I'm sorry you feel you were not taken seriously.

When I first posted, I was truly conflicted about what to do, and I did (and continue to) want others thoughts on the situation. My need for support and validation was never "veiled". After the post, and reading some responses, and doing my own research, I decided to follow through with the complaint. And I never expected all the opinions to "Echo my own". Like someone else said, this is not all black and white. Isn't intellectual conversation and exchange of ideas what this forum is about?

Thank you. I am 53 years old, and have never been healthier mentally, and I don't think I should have to defend my position on protecting an abuser's information. For me that's not the same as protecting the abuser himself. Not that I have to prove it, but if I were protecting him, I wouldn't have told his fiance's family to protect their little girls. This isn't about my twisted undying devotion to my abuser father, it's about protecting his rights under HIPAA. He is legally entitled to those rights just like any other person. Does he deserve those rights? Maybe not, but the nurse and my brother aren't the judge, jury, and executioner.

Don't mistake my reconciliation with lovey dovey feelings for my father. I still believe he is a vile human being for what he did. I'm the one who initiated the contact with him, because I wasn't comfortable with the thought of letting my hatred consume me. I am quite able to separate my intellectual thoughts from my emotional ones. Unless you've lived in my situation, you can't understand the complicated, convoluted dynamic of an abused family. It's very easy to say that my father deserves no sympathy at all, but what I did wasn't out of sympathetic feelings for him. My brother and his nurse friend did what they did out of pure morbid curiosity, and that's wrong on every level. There are plenty of other ways for my brother to make sense out of my father besides illegal means.

The nurse is a close friend of my brother, and knows our family situation. My father was discharged from that hospital 5 months ago, so she had to go through some effort to get the information.

Actually, the opposite is true. The brother in question is the only one of us who never sought professional help dealing with our childhood. I spent the better part of the last 30 years in therapy and a myriad of other interventions trying to make sense of what happened. I will never say there was a good reason for what my father did, but I am over the hatred. That doesn't mean I have Stockholm syndrome though. EVERYONE, like them or not, has a right to privacy concerning their personal health information. Yes, I'm advocating for my father, because the nurse was WRONG, unprofessional, and criminal.

The poll doesn't really address what is offensive to nursing. There isn't much that offends me after 31 years of nursing, but generally speaking, anything that minimizes the roll of nurses and their importance to health care is offensive to me. Oh yeah, when the girls on Deal Or No Deal are dressed like sexy nurses, with their boobs hanging out of short white dresses, nursing caps perched on their heads, I find that trivializing and offensive.