shadowrose81

Bipley, To answer your question: yes, this only started happening after seeing the patients for the first time. It's more stressing over the issue of being able to keep my life "normal" even though I work at the hospital. I know I can do the job of a CNA and make the days of my patients even better with my care. It's just the aftermath that worries me. Can I keep home and work seperate? I feel very encouraged that you think it's just in the beginning. I hope I can come out of this on top. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Daytonite, Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I do realize that I come home and do nothing. I will find a way to fix that immediately so I can be consumed with something else during the hours I'm home. I really appreciate all of your comments and thoughts. Please pray that I can get through the hardships and continue to do this while still being able to maintain a "normal" life. I'm glad I have a place to come to. Thank you all! :kiss

I got hired by the hospital in my area as a CNA. They have training on-site which I have yet to go through. Today, I was placed at the desk and helped the desk lady with her daily activities. I also shadowed some CNAs and helped them do their daily activities as well. I've never been in the healthcare line of work and this is my first time on the scene. My official training is next week, as a side note of information. Let me say that I've never been so stressed than I am now. At my previous job, I was able to seperate my work from home and go home stressless and in a great mood. Now, after today, I feel nothing but stress and I can't stop thinking about work. I had orientation (new-employee hiring) yesterday and the two previous nights, I couldn't sleep. I had to take sleeping pills. Let me say, that now, I love people. I want nothing more than to just give each of the patients at the hospital a hug and just tell them everything will be okay. I loved everyone I talked to today; the patient who went to Fuji, the sweet old man who told us about an old 30s movie star, and the stroke patient named Louis who thought she was washing her face by herself, but really just held the wet rag in her hand. I'm on a orthopedic floor which takes a variety of all sorts of patients. I want to help them, just make them smile and make their day. But how can I live my life after working at the hospital? Does it get better? Can I do this? I need some advice on how to seperate my life from my work. I can't get too consumed or too stressed or I'll just go nuts and have a nervous breakdown. I want to be a nurse. Am I committing myself to a life-time of endless stress? Will I have to take anti-depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills forever? Is this just first day jitters? Will things get better? Please help me. I cry all the time now. I just want to be myself again. Please help me. I'm desperate.

I also live in Austin, Texas. I love it here and wouldn't live anywhere else (and trust me, I have a list of places I've lived in already! ). Here are some useful websites for anyone considering on moving to Texas, specifically Austin itself. Seton (Hospital) - http://www.seton.net St. David's (Hospital) - http://www.stdavids.com/ Austin Community College - http://www.austincc.edu/ University of Texas - http://www.utexas.edu/

I used to think there was always a black and white answer to questions like these. I have learned that, though the outcome might seem obvious to others, it still leaves the person experiencing such unfortunate situations at a loss and filled with many emotions; fear, saddness and doubt. The right answer seems so simple, and yet so hard at the same time. If you ask anyone, they'll say, without a doubt: Yes, leave him. However, "Yes, leave him." leaves you with a lot of questions: What about school? What about money? What about my kids? So many others... It's not as easy at it seems. The thing you have to realize is: You can do it. In essence, you can worry about all the questions in the world. Worrying won't help you, but "doing" will. You need to believe in yourself in order to get yourself out of this harmful relationship (and it is--not only to you, but to your children and how they see relationships in the future--and so many other reasons too!). You need to set aside the fears and the questions you'll have if you do decide to leave him. Look for the strength inside yourself and rise above all the doubts your mind is plagued with. Although, it is difficult to face the undeniable truth that your children (and possibly yourself) will be saddened by the divorce/breakup of their parents, it will be better for them in the long run. Basically, you know it's not a healthy relationship. You know you should (and want to) leave him. But the real question is: how? How do you get out of there when you have so much at stake? You just have to take a chance and believe in yourself and believe everything will be okay. Because it will be okay and you will survive out there without him. You can do it! We all know you can. Yes, it'll be scary. But toss aside the fear and embrace your freedom; the freedom you long to have, for yourself and your children. A freedom without probing questions and hateful mind games. Just think of looking back and thinking, "I did that and I survived." It's a great feeling. :balloons: You can do it! Also (Edit): It isn't your job to help him any longer. You can't. Not because you don't have great qualities or anything like that (because you have wonderful, strong qualities!); only because some people just can't be helped or don't want to be. It's no longer your job to help him. You have to think of your schooling and your children. If he wants help, he can find it elsewhere. I really know you can do this. Let us know how you're progressing with this. Keep us updated!

I'm thankful for God. I'm thankful my supportive, wonderful husband. I'm thankful for my pets, Anubis, Freja and Oden. I'm thankful for my house. I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful for my new job as a CNA and the ability to go to school to get my nursing degree. I'm thankful for my family. The list goes on!

Thank you for sharing your stories, ladies. I am very grateful for the eye-opener and education in this matter. You're all very strong and I admire that!

I agree with one of the posters saying, "If you aren't happy, change it." In fact, that is what I recently did. I changed my career. I was a Game Designer, in the computer gaming industry. I am now going to be a CNA on the Orthropedics floor and going to college for my ADN. I just couldn't stand the gaming industry. Imagine working over time 12 hours a day for 7 days a week, with multiple weeks in a row and no days off. You'd think one would get a lot of overtime pay, right? NO. This is being a salary employee. No overtime pay for those long hours and months without getting a day off. It was absolutely ridiculous. I'm so glad I quit, you have no idea. Have time for family? Yeah right! Have time to do laundry even? Yeah right! And for what? Extra pay? Hell no! As a game designer, I made 35,000$ a year. And I was a high-paid employee! Can you believe this? The folks doing the job I used to have are making even less now. The gaming industry figures that they can hire anyone. People are begging to get into the gaming industry. I am so glad I got out of it. And the abuse from the supervisors is absolutely ridiculous. Of course, I'm not going into the nursing field with rose-tinted glasses and visions of fields of flowers and butterflies. I know it's going to be hard work, dealing with hard people and hard situations. I say bring it on. Changing my career was scary as hell, but I'm so glad I did it. I can't wait to start as a CNA. It'll be a welcomed challenge! I'll let you all know if I recommend nursing as a career in a couple of years when I am one.

I am truly sorry for your loss, Bipley. I can't even imagine what you're going through regarding this situation. I offer my sincerest condolences to you and your family. Since several were interested in regards to the detection of anticoagulants in an autopsy, I looked it up and found some interesting things. Forensics, to me, is one of the most interesting fields of study and thought I might help out by researching it a little. I apologize if my research offends anyone. Common anticoagulants: Heparin (intravenous), Warfarin (oral) Warfarin is also used in rodenticides (aka rat poison). Warfarin General Information regarding Warfarin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warfarin Warfarin Poisoning: http://www.chemsoc.org/exemplarchem/entries/2002/hook/warfarin.htm http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1147572 http://pmep.cce.cornell.edu/profiles/extoxnet/pyrethrins-ziram/warfarin-ext.html http://www.vetscite.org/publish/items/002125/ More Warfarin Information: http://www.prn2.usm.my/mainsite/bulletin/sun/1997/sun12.html - Under "Low Toxicity Rodenticides" ".. Warfarin poisoning can cause spontaneous bleeding, usually from the nose, gums as well as the gastrointestinal and urinary tracts. Haemorrhage into the skin and brain can also occur, throuh this is less common. Ingestion of superwarfarin, on the other hand, can produce a prolonged coagulopathy in humans even with a single ingestion. This is thought to be associated with the firmer binding capability of superwarfarins to the lipophilic sites of the liver." http://diddisdia.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_diddisdia_archive.html - Under "Clearly NOT the happiest place on earth..." "... The mouse poison in question was reportedly the d-Con brand; d-Con's active ingredient is brodifacoum. This substance is classified as a superwarfarin, a family of potent, long-acting anticoagulants, or blood thinners. It is a relative of warfarin, an anticoagulant discovered in the 1940s by the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation; the foundation's scientists found the chemical in spoiled sweet-clover hay, which was causing fatal hemorrhaging in some cattle. Warfarin is still used today to prevent blood clots." Brodifacoum Autopsy information: http://journalsip.astm.org/JOURNALS/FORENSIC/PAGES/3107.htm Google Warfarin Poisoning Autopsy: warfarin poisoning Overdose of anticoagulants Autopsy: detection of anticoagulants

SANE = Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner https://www.sane-sart.com/