seanzilla

dirtyhippiegirl -- I totally understand your anxiety over this issue. I was already almost 5 months sober when I started the program (TPAPN), and knew that I would not have a problem drinking (I'm an alcoholic). However, I was petrified of having a "false positive," as I knew the ownership was going to be on me. However, I had to put things in perspective, and just take a deep breath. As Jack has pointed out, there are specific things to avoid, and the list he's offered is a good one. From hair gel, to spray, hand gels (I use a non-alcoholic one), and so on, I was really scared that something would set off the test and I'd be in real trouble. However, nothing like that has ever happened to me. I make sure to avoid any foods cooked with alcohol/wine etc. So, my favorite of Veal Marsala is distantly waiting for my order once my time is up (a few months away). I've found that the less I worried about it, the better off I was. What it came down to, was the inconvenience of it all -- having to pee before going to work. Now, no big deal. It's just the money I hate to blow. However, I've used the program on my tax refund as an expenditure. Yes...this is okay! In order for me to retain my license, work, and make income, the test is a professional expenditure. So, that's a big help! Hang in there -- it will all be okay!! :)

Let me THIRD that sentiment, especially since it sounds like it came from a heartless LCDC counselor, and certainly NOT a nurse -- at least not the kind of nurse that I would ever associate with. Making charged statements like "Wanting to be a nurse does not means that everyone can or should be a nurse!" most certainly promotes the suggestion of "superiority" in this matter, and falls critically short of demonstrating any sense of support, care, or humility. Sorry to be inflamed about this, but that was just a terrible statement.

@TXRN2 - Yes, TPAPN allows their participants to go into home health. However, there is a restriction on the handling of controlled substances for a short period of time (a few months). This creates a barrier, but if you can find a group that is willing to work around that issue (like I did), then it's a go.

mp108 -- Okay, I think some others are correct about the situation, and that you should speak with an attorney about this. Yes, it will cost some money, but what's the value of your license after all the hard work you've put into the program? Best of luck!!

PCORRAL -- Just let me say...you are definitely NOT alone! When I accepted the Board's offer to be enrolled in TPAPN, I had no idea where to begin. Because I'm a Nurse Practitioner, I was unable to work in that field for at least a year. So...I was forced to find something as an "RN." Like you, when I approached my Case Manager for the program -- no help at all. Then again, that's not really their job either. They are there to monitor your compliance, and ONLY that. Honestly, the more I began to look at TPAPN as "The Army," it made it a whole lot better for me. I'm no different from anyone else, and the rules are blanketed for everyone; NO EXCEPTIONS. Once I gave up trying to get "special" help/treatment, things started moving in a positive direction, and my attitude about the whole thing most of all! The local hospital in my home town (small town) wouldn't give me the time of day, and there were few other places that would even show up on my radar. So, as others have suggested, I finally had to consider places that were not "local" to where I lived. I found that networking was the best solution -- talking to friends in the field most of all. Letting them know upfront what I had been through (2 DWIs and elective in-patient treatment). After making this kind of effort, I landed a job (almost immediately) in a home health company that was based about 30 miles from home. Believe me, like you, I was down to almost NO MONEY AT ALL! Then...the miracle happened! I was hired! I had never done home health in my life, and wasn't sure what to think of it. However, after 2 years, I can honestly say that I enjoy it more than I ever thought I would. I filled the void of not being able to care for patients, with finally caring for them once again. The bonus was that it gave me incredible flexibility to do all my urine drug screens without issue. The administrator, owners, and my DON think I do a fantastic job, and they are proud of my sobriety and the care that I provide to the patients. Please, don't give up hope. There are options out there, and many of which you may have not even considered. Home Health, Dialysis Clinics, certain hospitals -- they ARE out there, but it MIGHT require a bit of a distance to get there. Just be persistent. Don't give up, and above all -- PRAY! I will certainly be praying for you as well, and sending lots of positive vibes your way! :) Best of luck!! (PM me if you like)

I've heard the term suggested by a couple of MDs that I worked with in the past, but have never really seen it fully "in use." From my own experience, either Physicians are Nurse Practitioner friendly, or they aren't. Some ONLY want PAs, and others, NPs or a mix of both. I've even witnessed some physicians strike out at the NP profession on QuantiaMD.com simply because I made a reference to MAs as not being "nurses." I think that if there's any physician who has it in their mind to rename the role/name/profession of a "Nurse Practitioner" for something they would rather use/hear, then that would be someone to stay away from. The use of "Physician Extender" undermines the very profession of the NP by creating a subordinate term of reference of the Physician's profession. Of course, this is how they would prefer it, as they continue to control much of the legislation here in Texas with their lobby. Patients often interchange the term NP and PA quite often. I've been called a PA many times, but a kind correction is all that it is needed. I've also been called a "doctor" as well. Once again, I provide correction. However, when a physician suggests that I be called anything but a Nurse Practitioner, I will remind him or her that "I don't work 'under' a physician, I collaborate 'with' one."

I used to have many of those feelings early on in my sobriety. Even after 2 1/2 years of being sober, I still have the occasional (and yes, vivid), dreams of drinking; often waking with an almost overwhelming amount of anxiety. Yet...it goes away, and like you, I rebound into "normality" with greater ease each time. It's an unfortunate and uneasy feeling, yes, but continues to be more rare as time goes on. During the throws of these intense feelings, I began to realize that I could actually work on it to make them go away. However, this required a lot of concentrated effort and skill. The skills, of course, are the ones that I was learning about in A.A. from others. Coupled with relaxation techniques and meditation, I found that they became less and less significant over time. Going to meetings, reading out of the Big Book, and working with others have made them almost non-existent these days. It seems that everyone is a bit different in this area (PAWS), and it appears that most of us just have to find something that works best for us. Continue your workouts, climbing, meditation/prayer, and above all...meetings! I think you're on the right path already, but you just need to feel that even THIS STUFF (PAWS) is somehow "okay." It is a right of passage for most of us, and in the end, will only get better! Best regards!