BabyTurtle2k11

@turtlesRcool You’re right with me focusing on the things I do wrong and not acknowledging the things I’ve done right. I’m working on reframing my thoughts. I’m trying to be more positive and am looking into CBT to change the way I think about myself and situations. I’m trying to be more positive. I go back into work tonight and have a three night stretch. I’m trying to not become negative and anxious. Currently at the gym to work off some stress. And thank you for sharing your experience. That helps a ton! I made a small mistake Sunday night, but I caught it. I asked another nurse for help, but I feel comfortable with her and knew she wasn’t judging me. I caught the mistake before it got to the patient. So no harm done. Just was working too fast. I’m trying to work on that. Working slower even when I’m stressed.

@LibraNurse27 Thank you for your reply!!

@turtlesRcool, You are cool, as well ? Thank you so much for your reply. I'm trying my best to handle the anxiety better. I guess I just don't feel like I'm smart enough. I feel like I'm struggling while others aren't. I constantly ask myself if I'm qualified to be an RN. The mistakes I've made, others haven't made I don't think. And I know I look stupid. I've also struggled with low self-confidence for years and am trying to work on that. Any suggestions for feeling more confident? I feel like looking things up on my days off helps me feel more knowledgeable, but I also want to enjoy my days off. Any recommendations for that? I really appreciate your reply ?

@nursy The pay isn’t too much of a concern for me as long as it’s decent. I don’t have kids (unless you count dogs) ? So a pay cut wouldn’t be too bad for me. But I haven’t found any school nurse positions online. How did you go about getting your job? Thank you for your reply.

@speedynurse Thank you for the reply. Before nursing, I actually wanted to be a teacher. But I decided to pursue nursing. I have considered getting my MSN and teaching. However, I will need bedside experience for that. I have also considered pre-op/PACU, but I've seen that they do require some experience. And at the hospital I'm currently at, I can't transfer departments until I'm 6 months in anyway. But I doubt I could transfer there. I haven't made critical mistakes, but I'm so hard on myself. I really made a stupid mistake last night and I can't stop thinking about it. I am more on the analytical side. Some of the highlights that I've taken from work is when I can work with geriatric patients (I've worked in geriatrics as a CNA before), and when I actually have spare time to read about my patients and see what they are in the hospital for. I love to connect the dots. "Oh, this diagnosis is why this lab value is abnormal, this is why they're experiencing this symptom..." that kind of thing. I hate the fact that when I get on shift, I take report on 5-6 patients and have no time to know much more about them other than what is on their SBAR sheet and what I've been told. Until I can assess them (which is one of the first things I do) and actually have a minute to sit down and look at their chart. I will get on shift and run around for HOURS. I just don't know if I can do this for two years. And I'm scared that I will make a critical mistake.

@Davey Do Do you have any recommendations to an area of nursing I could go to that would fit my personality more? I've been told about home health nursing, clinic jobs (there are not really any in my area that hire RNs), etc. Can you make a suggestion?

Hello, I am a new RN (graduated in August, 2020) who completed a StaRN program at an HCA facility. Therefore, I am in a contract that requires me to work full-time for two years or pay back $10,000... I've heard that they go after some people to pay, but don't for others. But I hate my job. I don't use this as an excuse, but I already have anxiety/depression and have previously been on medication for it before becoming an RN. So being a new nurse on top of that doesn't help. I work on a busy med-surg unit. I dread going into work. I cry almost every time before having to go back. I feel this dark cloud over me. I feel so badly about myself and have struggled with low self-esteem for years. I have talked to plenty of nurses and they say this anxiety is normal, but my anxiety and overthinking cripples me. Some anxiety is good, but mine makes me make mistakes and question everything I do. I have another post about making mistakes on here. I made one last night that is a pretty big one. No harm was done to the patient and it was definitely a miscommunication error in a busy area of the hospital in ER holds, but I take full responsibility. I fantasize about having chosen a different career, to be honest. I enjoy helping people, but I don't think that I'm smart enough or can handle stress well to be in this job. I did very well in school, but I'm book smart and think that I just can't access the knowledge like others can. I feel like an idiot. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I don't know if I should try to stick it out even though I'm miserable or to try a different area of nursing. I'm a thorough thinker. I like to follow steps, know a lot about my patients, tackle things one at a time. But that isn't how nursing is. You have to be able to think quickly and adapt to changes, multitask, etc. I have already taken the steps to getting back on anxiety/depression medications and have looked into counseling. I've been telling myself that if I can handle my mental health, that I will do better. But I'm thinking that hospital nursing is just not for me. I need something that is less stress and slower paced. Any words of wisdom would be helpful at this point. I'm unsure of what to do. All I want to do is cry and hide from the embarrassment I feel for the mistakes I've been making. I'm wondering if nursing altogether is just not for me.

Thank you again to everyone who has commented. Sitting at work on break and reading this helps a ton. I just tend to compare myself to others and I see these other nurses who easily catch things with their patients and just know things and I wonder if I will get there. I contemplate quitting a lot. But I know that I need to stick it out at least for a little while. Also that contract has complicated things a bit. I want to get a copy of the contract to look over, but I don’t want to seem suspicious either. I asked about going to PRN because I wanted to go back to school for my BSN but apparently I am not able to do that. I wanted to review my contract to see if that’s a possibility. Has anyone else done a 2 year contract with an HCA facility and left before 2 years?

Thank you to everyone who has commented. It truly means a lot. I’m hoping with time that I’ll be better and more knowledgeable. I look things up in my off time and at work when I have a chance. Especially meds that I’ve never heard of. I’m currently sitting at work and I don’t feel terrible, but I think sometimes I have so much anxiety that it works against me and I can’t focus on things as much as I would like. I also don’t have the most confidence. I’ve always struggled with this. What other areas realistically could I eventually go into other than LTC? And I’m not sure about the contract. I was going to look into it. I’ve heard of them going after some nurses and not others to repay.

@Daisy4RN I just told the other nurse (it was a staff RN), she didn't actually look at the pt. I will do that next time. And yes, I have learned from each mistake that I've made. What also stinks about the situation is that I signed a two year contract. I've heard of some nurses quitting and HCA not coming after them, but I've heard of some that they did go after to repay the money. It's $10,000. Looking back, I wish I didn't sign the contract. I'm afraid that I'm stuck for now.

In my last post, I mentioned that I was nearing the end of my preceptorship. I have been on my own for three weeks now and I just don't know how to think or feel. I dread going into work and have sometimes cried beforehand. The other night, I made a mistake. I administered a medication to a pt who is allergic to it. The doctor prescribed it, pharmacy mixed the medication, it didn't alarm me when I scanned it. But I should've caught it. Luckily, the pt is okay and had no reactions. And the nurse who informed me about it was very nice and said that I'm new and learning, but to just check that next time. So you can bet that I'll be looking harder at allergies before giving medications and even asking the pts before I give them medication. I also had another situation that I'm wondering if my assessment skills are lacking. I had a gut feeling about a pt and did not listen to my gut. I asked another nurse about it and she said to just watch the pt. The pt was fine the rest of the shift. However, the next day, the pt was sent upstairs due to a possible acute situation. Or to rule it out. I'm wondering if I could've done more. Am I not cut out for this? There's so much to keep track of. Labs, recognizing s/sx in pts, techs not reporting abnormal VS, paperwork, etc. I feel so incompetent. I go back tomorrow and am dreading it. I plan to open my books back up and refresh my memory on s/sx of disorders, etc. But what else can I do? People keep telling me that I'll get better and that the only way to get better is to do it. But it's just so hard. Any advice/encouragement would be appreciated. Thank you!!

Hello all, I'm a new RN. I've been an RN since August of this year. I was hired at my local hospital and completed a StaRN program. I'm in my last couple of weeks of preceptorship and I feel incompetent. I feel like I'm not sure how I would handle things on my own. I've came a long way since beginning preceptorship, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to take care of 6 patients completely by myself. I feel like the knowledge is there, but I wonder if I can actually apply it. I did very well in school. I feel like I don't have the critical thinking abilities like other nurses do and that I'm not fast enough. If I didn't have help sometimes, I would drown. Which causes me to think that I'd drown alone as a new nurse. I want to learn. I want to be a good and competent nurse who can handle anything thrown at them. But I'm wondering if hospital nursing is not for me. If I left the hospital, I would have to repay the cost of the StaRN program which is a lot. Could someone please give me some encouraging words? Thank you!!

I apologize for not being more detailed. I know there are other places to work. I became an LPN for all of the reasons you listed. I very much enjoyed school. I feel like I enjoyed learning about nursing more than actually doing it. I feel that I am not as much of a leader as I need to be to be a nurse. In LPN school, we did clinicals in the OR and I loved it. The human anatomy really interests me and I loved the thrill of watching the surgeon. I honestly didn't know the OR hours. We did not do clinicals long there (just two days for me).

Hello all, I'm currently an LPN working at an ALF. I have not used my skills since I graduated nursing school over a year ago. I worked at a LTC facility briefly and absolutely hated it. I'm currently taking prerequisites to enter the LPN-RN bridge program. But I honestly don't know if I want to be an RN. I thought that if I became an RN, I'd really like to work in the OR. I would not want to do med-surg or ER. The OR is what really interests me. If I became an RN, what steps would I need to take to only work as an OR nurse? Or should I go to school to be a surgical tech? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :)

I've only been an LPN since September. Thank you so much for your encouraging words! What magazines are you subscribed to?