thinkingpositive

"You need to do what makes you happy. I know from my last relationship that your man probably doesn't understand your stress level. Mine expects me to work full time, plus overtime if its available, and go back to school and keep up on the house work and make sure I am available for all of his work events and to sit and support his life and career. Well Ive done it for a year and it landed me in the hospital....I thought i was seriously have a stroke due to all the stress. My ex man didnt understand what I was going through, and they dont understand the things you see at work. Yea we joke about the gross things and most of us probably really enjoy what we do, but you need a man who can 100% understand what you feel like after a day at work or a day at school. ANd if he can make things easier on you by making dinner or doing the laundry, he should. I remember walking in the door after being at work for 18 hours and feeling like i was going to collapse and my ex wanted to know what i was making him for dinner and i kicked him out. You need to eliminate people or things that make you stressed out. ANd if your man wants to complain about you not having enough time for him, he should realize you are doing this not only to better yourself but to better the future the both of you could have. But honestly you sound like you work hard and your just tired and overwhelmed, go out and do something for you, have a crazy girls night, and elminate the people and things that only make life harder." Hafisch12, Thank you for your comment. Reading your post is like reading from my own experience to a large extent. Like you, I really got exasperated when I'd come home to know I will need to cook or decide what we would eat for dinner because nothing's thawed, or what not. All that, and then some more, and like you... I ended up in a hospital, and got diagnosed with depression. To add insult to injury, he gave me the boot, instead of me giving the boot. And it really hurts. His complaint was not that I wasn't spending time with him; he was barely even home to begin with. He has pressing hobbies that he preferred to spend majority of his time with, than be home. The good thing that came out of this whole thing is, a week after he decided to surprise me with the biggest heartache I've ever experienced, I was offered a job I've always dreamed of landing.

Thank you for your responses. I appreciate it. There really is no salvaging the 6-yr relationship at this point. My former fiancé wrote a letter with elaborated demands of our separation. What sucks is we just bought our house four months ago, and he has not been home for the last three days. I'm meeting with the realtor that helped us secure this house to help me start selling this house by the end of the year before I start my clinical rotations. I will be part time/per diem starting this January, and unfortunately, I will not be able to financially support everything on my pay alone. Another option I have is take a break from school for a semester and get a second job to financially help me move out of the house into an apartment. I proposed counseling to my former fiancé, but he and his mother decided it is "safer" that he does not do so. And a communication between him & I mediated by his mother at her house is the only way I can communicate with him at this point. Because of a loud argument we had yesterday, his mother's questioned my behavioral and mental capacities, and that have lead her to believe I am unsafe to talk to his son who is twice my weight. I am still bitter... Grad school is really tough, and I know my circle of friends in the program have thought of completely quitting or taking a break too. More than half of the class that I started with are gone, and two of whom I know separated from their partners because of stress and lack of communication, and disregard of how stressful this program really is. I wanted someone to come home to, to listen to me, and console me with my grief, desperation & exhaustion from work and school, but I found that I constantly came home to a sleeping partner who didn't have the energy or the time to lend except remark on how 'miserable' I've become. And that perhaps led to my irritation and frustration, that turned into anger. I will be losing my healthcare benefits since I'm under his, and I'm thankful I still have student services at the university. I know I have issues I need to address, and I think a break or something else may help me get through this semester.

Hi everyone. I guess this post comes out of a place from a relationship that succumbed to nursing statistics. I am in FNP school, part-time (but feels like full-time with all the assignments and papers) halfway through done, and as stressful, if not more than the prior semesters. I work full time, and I volunteer at a local hospital (to up my chances of getting an acute care job; I'm sub-acute). Needless to say, I have lost it. I was able to manage my stress in the beginning, but after the non-stop, 2 wk only break in between semesters, since starting the program (3 yr program), I've grown increasingly stressed, and angry. The recipient of my stress, anger, & frustration is my very recently now-former fiancé. It wasn't fair, I know. But with him not being in the healthcare field, I don't think he understood the stress, and he couldn't relate, and chose to stay away as far away as possible every time I am home. We were together a total of 6 yrs. He saw me through BSN school; we did a long distance relationship, and that worked out fine. When I returned home, work prospects didn't come easy, job market sucked, and that was stressful too... fast forward to a year later, I got into FNP school. Fast forward to today -- my relationship is in total dissolution. My stress level has exponentially increased, and I admit, I've become my own kermit, and don't really have any intimate human interaction except professional interaction with classmates, co workers and patients. I get angered easily, frustrated easily, and have not had a decent sleep in what feels like forever. I wanted to quit FNP school for a semester or so, and focus on landing an acute nursing job, and de-stress, but my now former fiancé encouraged and cheered me on to keep on keeping on. So I did. Three-quarters into the semester, he's called it quits on me because of my stress level, and other issues that stem from my being in the program. I don't know what to do. I want to keep on keeping on, but I feel my personal life has suffered, and crumbled because of all the stresses I've subjected myself to. Have you ever been in a similar situation? What did you do to console your desperation?...I feel helpless, and hopeless.

HI Man Nurse2b. Yeah, unfortunately, my one and only hospital interview went really awry. The interviewer was very unprepared, and somewhat unprofessional. I am not saying this to spite her in any way because I didn't get the job, but everything that could go wrong during that interview, went wrong. The interviewer didn't review my application & had the wrong application on her hand; she was stumbling through my information, and called me by another applicant's name. I have been to a number of interviews (urgent care, public health, and other sub-acute with 3 panels etc., and 2 out of 3, I was offered a position after the interview, or shortly thereafter), and I had never felt so unwelcome, or challenged as much as with this one and only hospital interview I've had. I have never hired a job interview coach, but I did have training prior to graduation on what, and how you should present your self, how you should make eye contact with your panel, or your interviewer, how you should firmly and assertively shake hands, how you 'divert' non-experience with 'marketing' your skills, highlighting your strengths, and being honest with your weaknesses, and state what you've done to improve yourself, or how you've kept up to date with your skills, knowledge, etc. As far as resume, I've not had it reviewed in the last 2 1/2 yrs, perhaps that's where I don't thrive. While in nursing school prior to graduation, we had a resume expert (if you will), and local hospital hiring managers suggest, a panel of senior nurses et al critique our resume's, and suggest other means to improving upon our 'weak' spots. So I've used their advice/suggestions since then. I now realize, I need to update. Going back to my hospital interview... When the question of 'non acute care experience' came up with this interviewer, that was the end of it. Her tone changed, and her pitch increased, and she was practically telling me to leave. "Unfortunately I'm looking for someone c acute care, and none of which you have. I will have to interview others. Any questions?" I did ask questions to show I was eager to improve my lack of experience, and I even brought up volunteering, totally selling my self, etc, cautioning not to be too aggressive or sound like I was begging desperately for her to give me a chance. And she replied totally out of line with "As far as the compensation goes, that is not something I will divulge with you because that is HR matter, and again, I will interview others who have more experience than you. Sorry. That is it." Out of line. She didn't even bother asking me why I deserved the position, what my weaknesses are, or my strengths, etc. I left just as she wished, with a smile on my face, and told her that I appreciated her time with meeting with me, and giving the opportunity to be interviewed, and shook her hand assertively and sincerely as I told her that should she have any questions to give me a call. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, but I got the drift she was having a bad day, or perhaps I offended her because I'd asked her to repeat a couple of her questions (because she had a very strong foreign accent, I was politely asking her to repeat), but I felt she didn't want me there. But, as all the replies have suggested, I will hire someone to re-review my resume, and get some pointers on what else I could do to truly highlight my skills, and improve upon my weaknesses.

Hi Olivia, (and everyone who replied) I appreciate your response(s)!!! Yes, I am willing to relocate. So long as the position I receive is a 12-hr/3 days (or nights) a week, I WILL relocate. I have actually applied to hospitals out of town. I am in Southern California, and I've applied to as far as 2-3 hrs east to El Centro/Palm Springs/ Glendale/ Pasadena/Loma Linda, et al towns outside of where I live. Please let me know which teaching hospital you have in mind. I appreciate your response!! Thank you!!!

Hi RNSteve. Thank you for sharing. We are on the same boat; I work in a sub-acute unit, and will have been an RN for 3 years in January -- and still have not landed an acute care job. Like you, my confidence has dwindled because sub-aucte (just like LTC), seem to be "insufficient experience" for hospitals to consider. Just like firstinfamily's post, a lot of sub-acute that I know of are attached to LTC facilities, and hospital managers (at least the one that I interviewed with) think that sub-acute is long term skilled nursing, when it's not really the case. You work with patients with vents & trachs, and pt's who are sicker than your average LTC patients. I remember from my Advanced Med Surg rotation in nursing school -- it's pretty much like it, except in sub-acute, you could have as many as 12 patients. I feel that I've done all that I could do (take certification classes applicable to acute care; applied for hospital volunteering; applied out of town, etc), but almost three years later, I'm still a sub-acute nurse. There is nothing wrong with that, but the routine has made me want more. I am now looking into travel nursing. I have a friend who started out as a travel nurse to unincorporated towns in the Southeast, and almost three years later, she's now an ER nurse in a major city in the Pacific North West. Try looking into that. Best of luck.

Hi everyone. I have been bottling my thoughts for a while now, and I am desperate for advice/opinion about my situation. None of my RN friends share the same experience, and I want to know if there is anyone out there who is going through the same. I will have been a Registered Nurse (BSN) for three years in January. My dream RN position prior to graduation/licensing was to be an ER RN. But fast forward to today, my professional experience comprise of everything but emergency or acute. Good nursing, or a good nursing job for that matter doesn't necessarily mean working in a hospital setting. Like other blogs I've read, you can excel in any field, and feel as fulfilled as a nurse. However, I have reached a point in my career as a nurse where I have become increasingly dissatisfied because I no longer find challenge, or mental stimulation in what I do. I feel that the routine-ness of my job has dwindled my skills, and knowledge, and I've grown increasingly depressed. I've worked in Sub-Acute, and have a background in other non-acute care settings, and I feel very stagnant. I've taken acute care certification classes that do not pertain to my line of work in hopes of advancing myself, but I'm still here. My patients, and their families, as well as my co-workers praise my skills, knowledge, and my tact as a nurse, and I appreciate that. But I don't feel "alive" in my position anymore. A year into my professional career, I was accepted in the MSN FNP program at a local university (since my chances of actually getting an acute care job were seemingly futile, I thought getting "ahead" by pursuing higher education would look good on my dossier, and would actually mean I will have a better chance at getting an acute care position). Then, I read blogs from new grad FNP's expressing their concerns about not receiving any employment, or having such difficulty landing a job because they lacked acute care experience as RN's. Having had such difficulty landing a job myself as a new grad RN 3 yrs ago, I do not want the same difficulty to happen to me again. It is both financially, and emotionally distressing to go through such predicament. I was fortunate once when I did receive a call from a local hospital for an acute care job. But when my lack of acute care experience came up, five minutes into the interview, I was out the door. The same day, I received an email that I did not get the job. I graduated with my BSN hundreds of miles from where I am from. Prior to graduation & licensing, I was offered a job at the hospital I did my preceptorship in. My mentors thought I performed well as a nursing student that management placed me on top of the list for a PACU position from hundreds of applicants. Because of family et al reasons, I had to move back home. I was told by a seasoned nurse that as soon as I receive my license, landing a job will be easy as cake. Proved to be not the case. So, here I am. Three years later, I still think of that job I didn't take advantage of. I would rather earn a position on my own, and prove in my performance that I am fit for a job instead of actually having someone hand me a job. But this has not worked out, so I've made several connections. And the connections I've made so far have agreed to be my references, but that doesn't even seem to work. I've also submitted volunteer applications at local hospitals, and applied for jobs out of town, but I have yet to receive a phone call. I am a year and a half away from graduating with my MSN, and I am seriously thinking about taking a year break to focus on getting an acute care job, so I'd have a solid base, and be more marketable when I do graduate. Sorry for the very lengthy post. And thank you for reading. I just would like to know if there is anyone out there experiencing the same issues as me. ... What has worked for you in landing an acute care job? What other mediums have you used to get an acute care job? Please let me know...

I feel very relieved just reading all of the posts above. I have a very non-acute care setting RN experience, and have only been a RN 1.5 yrs before getting admitted to the FNP program part time. Finding a job, and even just receiving a call for an interview at a hospital never happened for me after receiving my license. Took me a month of daily search, and feared not getting any job at all to pay for my loan back -- and finally found a home health agency who was super short staffed at the time, and took a chance on me... and that's how my nursing career started. My background include: home health, SNF with some subacute, Public Health, and back to SNF/Rehab as per diem to accommodate school scheduling. Anyway, all of my classmates have very impressive backgrounds in acute care, and I feel very left out a lot, and at the same time I feel very disadvantaged because I can tell, majority of my classmates make the classes look like cake walk. I put so much time and effort studying, and trying to keep up, and understand what most of my classmates already know in the back of their hands. I got in the program after all, so I guess I belong in the group, otherwise, I would have been turned away from the program all together. It is tough. Very tough. And being in the FNP program takes a lot of dedication, and hard, hard work. Sometimes, I feel I should take a break from school for a year to find (more like desperately find, and beg for) a job that equate to "acute care" so I'd have a more solid knowledge base, instead of just reading about it. But finding an acute care job in a year, with my lack of acute care background -- seems like a dream, and may not happen; so there's no guarantee. But, I'm glad to have found this post... it makes me feel better to know that there are RN's with limited or no acute care experience who are making it, and surviving the FNP program, and happy about their decisions. SlyFoxRN -- it is up to you to pursue NP with limited experience. If you do, you have to really prepare your self mentally & emotionally, and totally buckle up because the FNP program is tough. I wish you the best!!!

Hi Christine, You are not alone. I am a fairly new nurse; somewhat burned out; in the FNP program and have contemplated on either quitting, or taking a year break; the latter being more of the case. The thought of taking some time off of school makes me feel so relieved, and I can't wish this semester to end much much sooner enough. I am 85% decided on taking a break -- just so I could reflect on why I really wanted to pursue the program, and to somehow, rest my mind a bit since I think I rushed my decision to be in the program way too soon without thinking things through, and without preparing myself emotionally and mentally. It is very draining. Just as the previous comment --- I think it is a good decision to take a break, contemplate, and really find the reason why you wanted to pursue FNP. To give you a push though -- NP's will have a great role in healthcare with ACA taking effect soon :) (I'm sure this has already been drilled to you enough in FNP school hahaha!). I think about this every time I get really frustrated, and it gives me a sense of direction. I'm sure you've already spoken with your school, and I think it's pretty standard to complete the MSN program within 5 years; beyond that, you'd have to start over. I wish you the best, and hope you find happiness in your decision. And there is nothing wrong with taking a break, especially, if that break will help you decide what you truly want for yourself and your career. :)

I agree with you sour april -- you can be a great nurse anywhere. And yes, there is nothing wrong with home health, SNF, public health or other field of nursing. I enjoyed my SNF days, although, it wasn't my first job option to start my nursing career, it was both a necessity for me financially, and and necessity to gain experience. Like any job out there - there will always be pros and cons. Pros - experience, paycheck, etc; cons - non-acute setting, imbalance patient to nurse ratio (40:1; sometimes 42 + to one RN; risking your license, extremely limited attention given to pts especially if you have so much in only eight hours, etc.) I personally want to pursue hospital nursing because hospital constitutes 'acute care.' And plus if all the hospitals, and or clinics you've researched are asking for experience in acute care setting of at least three years to be considered as a candidate for a FNP position --- then that's what you do: look for an acute care setting nursing field. If you're set, and happy with staying c your current nursing position and feel that it would be your chosen life-long career, then, do what's best for you.

Hi PeacockMaiden, I'm in sort of in the same boat as you. Graduated in Dec 2011, licensed in Jan 2012 with RN, BSN, PHN -- couldn't get into any kind of New Grad Program. I am in Southern California, and probably the other worst area for new grads, second, if not equally as bad as Sacramento. While in my med-surg rotation in BSN (in Nor-Cal) -- I was encouraged to put in my application at this hospital because the staff really liked my work ethic, people skills, IV start skills, etc --- and the med-surg new grad position would be guaranteed for me after my licensing. I didn't take it because I needed to come back home to Southern California. Like you, I graduated c a good solid GPA; my professors/clinical instructors back in BSN wrote all kinds of recommendations for me; praised that I had exhibited excellent nursing/clinical knowledge skills, and that I would be a good nurse someday, blah blah blah. For a whole month after licensing --- 10-16 hrs a day, 7 days a week, I was putting in my application everywhere. I became so desperate that I endorsed my license to other states in hopes I would get an "acute care setting" nursing job. Nothing. Unlike you, I never got any hospital interviews. I'm also probably one of the very few nurses in my BSN program who has not held a hospital job to-date. And yes, I share the same sentiment, I also had classmates in BSN who had failed in clinicals who have hospital jobs today because either they knew someone, or that they are related to someone working in the same hospital (the latter being more of the case). Finally -- I decided, out of my desperation, I'd take any job I could get. So I did -- Home Health. I did that for four months, and then SNF with a variety of units ranging from sub-acute/subskilled/residential/SNF/and SNF level 2. So, I share the feeling of being drowned from too much paperwork, 0 OT hrs paid, staff and patient overload (from 1:16 to 1:42). It is insane, to say the least. Then I thought I entertain my hospital dreams after 6 months --- nothing --- but I got a call from the County for a PHN job. I did the PHN job for 6 mos. Then got admitted to MSN-FNP program where I finally decided I needed to focus on school, and entertained my hospital dreams again even if it will just be per diem/part time. I've also done research on this one, and it makes me really nervous because --- hospitals require acute care nursing experience of xyz amount of yrs for a NP to actually get a job (especially here in SoCal, and probably NorCal as well). I don't have that. My former DON at my old SNF job called and offered me a DSD/Director of Staff Development position full-time at another SNF, which sounds like a great job, and perhaps, prestigious position to have -- teaching nursing staff etal... but I think to myself --- how will that experience actually be of benefit to me when I will be practicing FNP in the future...So... I don't know if I should take that position knowing it may not be the best fit for what I'm academically pursuing for. I'm thinking positive, but at the same time... I also don't really know how to attack the situation. I also thought about volunteering; I've contacted a few people, but volunteering for someone who needs to pay the bills may not work either. I know there are options out there, we just have to keep looking. How about hospital-sponsored job fairs? Another posting I also read is to apply for a per-diem position just to get your foot in the door (which I've also tried, and still waiting for a call) --- it's worth a shot!!! Keep on keeping on!!! Best of luck!!!!!