Sunnysleeper

Join local nursing organizations and participate in them. (Networking) Do go online and get started on your BSN, and be sure to mention that you are in the process of getting your BSN when you apply anywhere. Even if they prefer/require a BSN, if they like you, they may overlook your current lack of one when they know it's in your future. Have you looked into Home Health or your local public health agency meanwhile? Go to every nursing job fair you can, even if you don't have the experience they're looking for. (network, again) Good luck!

First of of all, DON'T give up on your future: the days of hardship now will be much outweighed by the years of having a good career to support you! And think of the example you are and will be setting for your kids! I was no where near your situation, but before I quit my job and returned to school full time for nursing in 1988, I thought of all the ways I could earn money and even selling my blood was on my list. (don't know if that's still an option, or available where you live). Definitely, as another person said, think outside the box and don't be afraid or shy or embarrassed by getting the help you need. I also applied for every scholarship I could find (researched in library before internet was even available!) and found that many business clubs etc. offered small scholarships (Business and Professional Women's clubs). Every $100 helped and some renewed each year. I also got a no-interest private loan from the Bill Raskob Foundation in Delaware for $2000/yr (remember, this was 1988 so amt avail. might be different now, if the Foundation is even still around). The application process was lengthy but made a huge difference for me, and it renewed each year. Have you thought about getting a roommate who could barter rent for watching your kids? Perhaps another single mother? (if no room where you live, perhaps a move might make it possible) where you each pay half for move-in expenses. If she can't watch the kids, her share of rent would still help. Do your kids qualify for any social security benefits? Doesn't hurt to call to ask. I know you said you don't go to church, but perhaps you could try contacting some local churches to see if they can help in ANY way. Women's groups, etc. Do a mass mailing, offering to meet with their organization in person so they know you're legit. Include a photo of you with your kids, and even a copy of your transcript. Are there any courses you can take online so you need less childcare for those class times? Your husband is also the children's parent: why can't he take responsibility for some hours of child care, in person? You still qualify for child support since they're actually housed and fed and clothed by you. Have you tried to find a job which DOES offer decent tuition reimbursement? The deal you have from your current employer is a joke; don't get tied up with them anymore!! I also sold Christmas cards to local hotels (since I'd been in the hotel industry before I changed careers) who always send cards to present and potential clients. It didn't cost me anything but a little time and I made 50% commission on every sale (about $350 for an hour's work usually). In contacting them (by letter)(in Sept or Oct- no later preferably) I told them that I was putting myself through nursing school doing this and they were always very receptive to that: again, you could enclose your school transcript and family photo if you think that would be helpful. I don't remember the names of the 2 companies I worked with, but they had beautiful cards. I'll try to do a search and come back and tell you the names if I find them. You're in a very rough spot, but keep at it: it's worth it and your kids are worth that future you'll be able to give them. I

Thanks for clarifying that you don't think I'm stupid. But eye-rolling etc. IS a form of bullying and emotional abuse, and I call that a form of violence. Just saying....

I would send an anonymous letter outlining instances you've seen (no mention of date or pt or else they might track it back to you) to the unit manager/director, the CCU/ICU RN Educator, top RN & top DR & top administrator in your hospital, and also the hospital's lawyer (sorry, my brain is fried and just not coming up with the proper titles for each of these). You might copy all of them at one time, or individually (you decide in what order), but I would say that you are prepared to inform JCAHO and other hospital quality agencies, if you haven't already, though that might be perceived as a threat. Good thing you're no longer doing hearts there yourself, but if problems exist in one type of patient, are the rest of the patients any safer? Scary situation and disgraceful professionalism. Definitely the educator needs to get to work!!

Whenever they roll their eyes, STOP what you're saying and pause significantly. Then say ONLY: "Are you done?" (NO other comment!) and immediately continue with report. Do this whenever they do something passive aggressive, even if it happens over and over and over again. (Even if/when they then say "innocently": "What?!".) Do NOT engage them otherwise. Say nothing else until you resume report. Eventually they'll realize how report is dragging on and on, but don't stop your stopping. If they complain, you might reply simply "I'll stop when you do" and do not clarify further, though I think that's a problematic reply:you could be opening up a can of worms. Perhaps a better response would be "I agree. I'd LOVE to continue report uninterrupted". YOU are in control of the situation UNTIL you start engaging with them. Do you have a No Violence Tolerated policy at your hospital? This eye-rolling and comments might qualify as violence in MY hospital, and you could discuss it with your manager. You could also just say "Don't roll your eyes unless/until you have a constructive and instructive comment to make. Otherwise I'll assume you couldn't do any better yourself." This calls them out Plus puts them on the spot to respond with a complaint. I confess I think I've rolled my eyes a time or two myself and I'll tell you why and when: When I've just HAD it with the same nurse consistantly failing to do or notice an order, doesn't know something basic about the client, etc. ESPECIALLY when they are just blase about it, like they don't care. IF, however, they express any kind of regret for missing it or not getting it done or explain that they were so busy they couldn't get to it, then I'm totally "oh ok, we all have days like that. I'll take care of it." So examine yourself too, to see if you're guilty of anything. Perhaps when you're GETTING report from them (or in a non-report time), you could ask for their advice on how you could improve your report, patient care, whatever? Then you become their protege and I doubt they'll roll their eyes again.

I can SO relate to what you write. I was in the BSN program at the community college (who had an affiliation with the state university: we took the same courses and tests as the Univ. but at comm.college tuition rates and graduated with the university degree: a sweet deal!) and would talk with students in the ADN program at the school and they would go on and on about how they loved their clinical days each week. Meanwhile, I'm thinking "Thank God I only have to do ONE clinical 1/2-3/4 day (I forget, but it wasn't a full 12 hr shift) per week", because I HATED and dreaded it. It was a 2nd career for me, starting at age 36, and if I didn't do nursing I had no other options I could think of. I was really worried because I'd gone to college once already and knew students studing education who, when they finally got into the classroom, found they hated teaching. And I didn't want that to be me, wasting lots of money and time and never using my new career. Like you, I loved studying and particularly patho and A&P and even math (which I'd hated and been awful at earlier in my life/education), but didn't enjoy the patient care (bathing pts. esp.!). I was scared to death that my clinical instructions would find out how much I (didn't think I) knew: they always took my maturity and 4.0 grades as indicating I didn't need help, and rarely spent time with me. Probably for lack of any other options, I stuck with it and my first job with in a NICU, thinking I'd be learning a lot from dealing with all the body systems, and teaching parents. I was fired from that job after 18 mos. because apparently I couldn't put my knowledge into use (more a lack of confidence on my part, in part due to a bad preceptor match-up - and inexperienced first-time preceptor- as acknowledged by and admitted by the unit Manager. (I was ready to leave myself at that point due to unfriendly atmosphere and philosophical/ethical issues I was having with the religious hospital culture & trying to save some of these babies, and lack of parental presence that I'd anticipated, during my (night) shifts.) Anyway, I quickly found a job on a cardiac unit: it's now 20 years later and I'm still there and still enjoy nursing.... for the most part! It gratifying to have moments when you know you've done well by your patient, and even better when THEY tell you so. I love the schedule (still working night shift: we don't do baths on night shift LOL), getting paid for the actual hours I put in, the pay, the variety, and being able to leave my work at the timeclock!! There are SO many options and paths to take with nursing so I encourage you to keep with it. With your prior teaching experience, have you considered being a nurse educator? Or nurse admin.? or flight nurse? or...... Lots of ways to do nursing w/o being bedside. Leave that for those who enjoy it; not everyone is cut out for it. But who knows, you may surprise yourself with a little more school and experience under your belt, just as I did.

Why not call the person you interviewed with, thanking him for his time and letting him know of your continued interest in and excitement about working on his unit??! If he's not definitely hiring you yet, this may help him make his decision; if he's decided on someone else, he may be impressed enough with your attitude that he will recommend you to someone else in his facility. (Come right out and ASK him if he knows of anyone other unit hiring and if he'd pass your name on to that person.) DO NOT tell him you're desperate to leave your current position!! In the meantime, IF you ever have a free moment, ask the other nurses if you can do anything to help them (don't ask if they "need help" which they may construe as a comment on their own abilities) and try to foster a collaborative atmosphere. If you keep asking them, eventually I think they will realize you're a colleague and a helpful one at that. This 'eating your young' activity only shows how unhappy THEY are in their jobs too: their way of saying "welcome to OUR horrible world; we deal with it, now you can too". And the next time they try to "eat" you, ask them if THEY were ever new grads??? Good luck, and keep applying for jobs so you can get out of that place. Don't assume that just because you applied at one time, that your application will be remembered: keep calling periodically (not enough to be a pest though) to let them know you're still interested and available. Make a friend of the HR person so they WILL think of you when a job opens up.

Dearest Newnurse212, please give yourself a break! Yes, this is a difficult job with much to juggle and learn, so allow yourself the time to learn how to do all that before you expect yourself to set the world on fire! No one expects you to know everything right away! You've learned all the facts and why's and now it's time to learn the how's, if that makes sense. Everyone eventually learns how to run their shift and even those of us with 20 yrs. experience find some shifts simply don't allow us to manage them as we want: +>*%@ happens and you just literally RUN with it! (pun not intended) I was so scared when I first started that, although I'm not a traditionally religious person, I always prayed while driving into work "God, please make this a good night!" and I let Him decide what "good" consisted of: be it an easy patient load/shift, or perhaps He'd choose to give me a situation I'd learn from w/o doing anything to harm either my pt OR myself! It was 18 mos. before I realized I was comfortable enough in my skills that I was no longer habitually saying it before every shift. I just re-read your post to see if I've even addressed what you wrote, and find myself wanting to COMMEND you for being scared and worried: a little fear and humility goes a long way in keeping you and your patients SAFE. I'd be very concerned if you WEREN't feeling overwhelmed at this point!! Too many new nurses I've seen are just SO confident, showing that they don't know enough to BE scared! School is totally different from the hospital and I'm sure I'm not the first to say to you "welcome to the real world" and "I know what you learned, but this is how it's really done". It WILL slowly and eventually get better: you'll become more familiar with each Dr's handwriting, you'll learn how to prioritize, you'll learn to ask questions and to ask for help when you're drowning (yes, even when you're an experienced nurse you'll still have times when you'll need to ask for help from co-workers!) Wishing you a fulfilling career and please be kind to yourself!