Born2BWild

I'm very closely related to this person I seem so obsessed with. I worry her strangeness may get to the point of something bad happening to her as far as her career. She quit and walked/ran out last week after a huge blow up where she was cursing and screaming in front of several nurses including the DON. She drove around awhile and came back and is now the DON's " assistant." Management loves her but it could get to the point where she is a liability to the facility. After she left a CNA was actually worried this nurse might return with a gun. I know there was never any danger in that, but that people would worry about that is not good. She is on medication now and is very calm and subdued, but still has odd behaviors. The activities director saw her eating and said it turned her stomach. All kidding aside, I'm kind of worried for her.

What would you think if a professional RN with a bachelor's degree in nursing who is in an upper level position in the workplace and who is even going to graduate school would eat her lunch with her hands, claiming metal utensils made her cringe and plastic is not always available? I'm talking about eating lasagna, mashed potatos, salad, dessert, etc. with her fingers, taking fingerfuls or using her fingers/hands to take the food and cram in her mouth, and it doesn't matter who is around, patients, family and visitors, the administrator...she acts oblivious to it all. Would you find this disturbing?

Gum chewing is incredibly annoying.

I guess it's safe to assume whenever you have men and women spending so much time together things are GOING to happen, especially if they have a "soul mate" type of connection with each other.

I mind my own business more than some others, for that matter, it's the topic of conversation all over the facility. Everytime one of them walks by, someone says something about how good she must be in the sack (I've never said this). One time, he and she came out from the back office and a nurse said she didn't want to know where his hands had been. And they notice how she will follow behind him around the building like a puppy that adores its owner.. I find it poignant. A housekeeper says she saw them "snuggling" together. But, I thought boss/employee relationships were a no-no.

If you walked in and saw a male boss and his female worker embracing in an affectionate hug...would you think it was your business to say anything?

She does it when she gets stressed, it's kind of a tourrette's-like outburst. Her boss has a special affection for her and tells her to go in his office and calm down when she starts in. Then, he will go in and curse with her until she feels better. But the boss was gone and some family heard her tonight. Some patient's have potty mouths too and they love her because she can be so sweet then turn around and start in sht fire and son of a _____. They think it's funny.

We have an excellent nurse but she curses like a sailor. Anyone else work with a foul-mouthed nurse?

We like to try to offer the residents variety as far as entertainment goes. We've had musical acts, movie days, bingo, church (and more church), reminiscing days, scrapbook days, pie days...I belly dance as a hobby and am wondering if it would be a good idea to suggest that my troup come and perform? I think it would be neat to lay some oriental rugs on the floor to dance on. It seems like the colorful costumes and music and dancing could be stimulating for the old folks. I haven't brought the idea up because I wouldn't want to be embarrassed if someone didn't think the sensual costumes and moves would be "appropriate." Though, in spite of cartoons of snowmen and big paper snowflakes decorating the halls these are adults, after all. Good idea? Or too "hoochie coochie" for the older crowd?

I don't understand what you mean by this...?

We have an RN who is known to be rather "colorful" and animated at times. Today was a nice, quiet, rainy day at the facility and a CNA's sister (who is having trouble at home) pulled around to the side of the wing where her sister works and was talking to her outside the door. This woman's husband apparently followed her in his truck and was revving his engine, squealing tires, driving back and forth like a maniac, pulling up behind her and backing out...so I went and got this supervisor, and she came with me to see what the commotion was. He pulled up and started to get out of his truck and we heard children screaming in terror and crying. There were 3 little girls in the car. This RN saw those children upset and she totally lost it, I guess you could say. She ran over to this guy (she's about 5'2" 120 pds. and he is about 6' tall) in a rage and told him to get the #$%% away from here and she was going to call the police. Then, this man's wife chimed in that he will go to jail because she has a restraining order out on him. And this RN started screaming LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THESE CHILDREN, GET OUT OF HERE YOU SON OF A _____!!! He pulled out and was driving off. This RN ran to the children and was so upset she was shaking, and telling them everything was going to be alright. She has been upset about those children ever since, and says she absolutely can't stand to see children mistreated. But do you think this guy could call the office tomorrow and report her? She was kind of acting out in the heat of the moment, but do you think they would try to punish her for this?

Gee whiz. I don't want to see her destroyed. In some ways I'm envious of her, but I couldn't exactly call it jealous...especially when you consider doc marten lace up boots with a long, dressy sarong/wrap skirt...but if curiosity makes me a bad girl I won't do it anymore. BTW, she is "striking" but her nose is too big to be just like Kirstie Alley. Her face is perfectly symmetrical, though, and she has long thick hair. I think she is pretty, especially on the inside. No one is perfect, this nurse just seems to have broken the mold and I thought it was "interesting" enough to share. And it was so funny she knew that dance, we all had our mouths open! Hot mama!

After today me and a couple of co-workers think we have figured out what (one) of her problems is: after an impromptu dance of "Single Ladies" in the hallway when it came on a resident's tv (complete with the gyrating--it was very good for a woman in her upper 30's, actually) we are wondering if it's "histrionic personality disorder." She does have an above average appearance (Kind of like a thin Kirstie Alley) and this sure seemed impulsive and attention-seeking. She also seems to act out more when men are around. It was a good dance, but seemed sexually inappropriate. Should I tell the boss? She's certainly got people stirred up around here, almost to the point of distraction.

There were actually several people back there. The DON's office is right next to hers, and this occurred in the DON's office (I happened to be there putting in a PTO request) In the nutty nurse's defense, it was a CNA who is very inflexible and unwilling to help out where work days are concerned. Upper management has it in writing that no one has "scheduled" days, but this CNA has been here literally decades and apparently, they have been catering to her. This nutty nurse (not trying to degrade her) has recently taken over scheduling. So, the CNA came back there and told her, "You've messed up my schedule. I always have these days and these days off." After getting nowhere with difficult CNA, that's when nutty nurse flipped. She was waving her arms in the hallway and loudly saying, "I thought we didn't have scheduled days, whatever happened to that?!?!?" Then she started with the shoe deal. The DON (who is very protective of her, apparently) laughed and told her to go in her office and calm down, which she did without argument. Later, he went in there and I heard him coaching her about "riding the wave" or something or other. A speech therapist walked by and looked and me wide-eyed and shook her head. I can't say I don't like this nutty nurse. She (seems to be) a gentle soul, and she seems to loosen up with the patients and can be very sweet. The employees love her because she is easy going and can has this low key, dry sense of humor that often is hilarious. She is an excellent nurse, one of the few nurses in management who will work the floor when there is a call in. I've worked behind her and have never seen anything she's missed or not done. She's recognized illness in a resident when others haven't and sent them out. But she has told people she has a problem with depression and it's terrible because it's as real as any physical pain only worse because it's like a private hell where there's no escape. She can't stand certain noises, if anyone is crunching on ice or chips or pretzels she flips out and covers her ears until they stop or she leaves. She acts child-like in a lot of ways too. Playing with stamps and inkpads. When she makes out the daysheet she draws elves and fairies and designs all over it (she's a talented artist, by the way.) I think she daydreams a lot. I would love to figure her out, seeing as she's basically my boss and I would like to know how to best get along with her.

We have an RN who is a pet of management because she is a good nurse who is good with the patients. On top of that, she is in graduate school to be a nurse practitioner so they really think she is highly intelligent and all that and a bag of chips, too. She actually is a very nice person, but has a little problem dealing with confrontation and stress, though. When she feels overwhelmed she kind of acts nutty. Today, an employee was arguing with her about how she scheduled them to work and she went in the DON's office, threw a pen on the floor, stomped her feet, turned red, then started ranting about how she hates her shoes and she kicked them off and threw them in the break room and was running around in her socks... She has had tantrums before when frustrated with something in management and always apologizes afterward, but, what gives? What can be done with her? She also sits out in the smoking area puffing on cigars and laughing to herself. Sometimes, she has laughing spells in the middle of inservice and will have to get up and leave the room because she can't stop...weird.

Sorry I can't give any insight. I just know I have a lot more empathy and respect for someone who admits they are addicted and will be honest about their situation than the manipulator who feels entitled. Funny, the few who have been humble enough to admit they are dependent get theirs just like the ones pounding their fists on the desks. Why can't people just be truthful?

One of the worst things is to be absent. That will ruin your reputation more than just about anything else. My boss has a saying that if the facility has to wonder if a nurse will call in, they do not need that nurse. It's just a terrible inconvenience to your co-workers who must take up the slack, the facility who has to pay over-time not to mention it will end up lowering workplace morale.

I think you all are right. Believe it or not, I'm not the one with the reputation as one of the drama queens at work (and boy, do we have some). I have, however, been called "Eyore." I do accept responsibility for being a fruitcake, but it isn't getting me anywhere to acknowledge that. I'm in agony. I'm going to do my best not to nag or complain anymore, because I notice how he gets that faraway look on his face and changes the subject when I start in. Then, at the same time, he says he really cares about me (not in that way) and that he values me so much because I am the one who stays until a job gets done and all that. I take Zoloft and I have Xanax prescribed, but it makes me so tired I'd rather not take it. I'm just miserable beyond any way to put it into words. I just have this constant feeling there is something extremely urgent and I have to go go go. And all I end up is so frustrated my face is in a permanent frown. I've got to straighten up before I get my ass fired. But yes, you're right. You're absolutely right.

I left the CNO a note apologizing but explaining I had bitten off more than I could chew and while I couldn't afford to work there full-time I would like to see if it could be arranged for me to work every other weekend for now. I went over there yesterday to talk to her about it. She told me to go home. On top of that, now that I have quit the hospital (I got in my car and cried when she sent me away) and gone back to my old job my boss is treating me like crap now. I have been feeling vulnerable so I went in his office, showed him my orientation manual from the hospital and told him I really felt torn and in agony over leaving, because I really did enjoy the work. He told me to call them back and tell them I wanted back in...he may have been "joking" but I didn't see it that way. I'm starting to think my boss here has a bit of a sinister and abusive side to him.

After you're finished taking pot shots re-read my post, because you obviously only saw certain words and misconstrued what I was saying.

No. Absolutely not.

And I know I shouldn't be on the computer at work, which is my point. I'm so bored. They know I get on the computer, too. In fact, the ADON reminded me I wouldn't be able to piddle on the computer and do as I please at the hospital. I'm like the one on standby. For example, we just had a situation where a resident was trying to leave AMA and no one could get ahold of his doctor. So...I had to go talk to the patient and try to calm him down and then find a way to get ahold of the doctor. Now, I'm back at the computer because it's boring again. I'm kind of like the standby person here. I'm available to take over a med cart, call the doctor, round with the doctor, take orders, deal with staffing issues, pharmacy issues, incident reports, patient and family complaints, help the LPN assess patients to see if they need to go to the hospital, draw stat labs..(jack of all trades and master of none, I guess) Then it's back to sitting. It may be handy to have me around but the work I don't find very satisfying. Thanks for listening to me vent.

I'm such a coward when it comes to letting people down. The people at both jobs have been nothing but good to me, which makes it all the worse. I think you all are absolutely right, it would be more than tacky to drop an email to let them know I can't cut the mustard, but facing the CNO is going to be horrible. For one thing, she is so sweet, how can I be ungateful like that? Why do I keep doing stupid things to make life hard? Why can't I be content? Why do I get myself in these messes? Why am I not happy unless I have something to stress out about? It's killing me.

I was not being realistic when I assessed my ability to work two jobs. I was being very stupid. What actually happened is that I got mad at my old job (nursing home administration and RN supervisor every other weekend, work the floor once in awhile when they are short) where I pretty much do as I please, in fact, I'm at work now) Anyway, I started feeling resentful because of positions some of the nurses here hold that I do not feel they are worthy of and so I felt like getting "back" at the facility (I wanted to get back at my DON, mostly, because I know he thinks highly of me, I heard him telling someone I was one of the top three nurses at this nursing home) so I went and got another job. In other words, I was acting like a spoiled brat, I accept full responsibility (please don't think lowly of me for admitting it.) When they told me what the hospital job paid, at the time I thought I could swing it but it didn't take long for me to realize what a dummy I was. Anyway, I already left a letter to the CNO saying I would not be able to work full time and asked if they would consider me to work every other weekend. This would mean I would never have a weekend off but I feel guilty for coming this far and then splitting. The CNO actually came in to help cover the shift the next day and never mentioned the letter I had written her, though I know she got it because my preceptor told me she was wanting me to come talk to her to see what I was going to do. The CNO was very nice and friendly to me. Most of the staff there seem to like me, a couple of the doctors came and introduced themselves and welcomed me to the hospital, which made me feel two inches tall because in the back of my mind I was planning how I was going to get out of the job. I've been told I'm doing an excellent job for having never worked in a hospital. This is a rural hospital in a small town so everyone knows my business. I also have an unusual name so it sticks in peoples' minds. I've burned bridges at two other hospitals because I was hired then ended up not taking the job. I've even got a reputation here at the nursing home as being flighty, but I can't help it. There is so much to do and learn and I want to be a part of as much as I can. I'm conflicted because I have a family depending on my income, too. So, I know I will have to take the more boring job because of the money. I'm so tired.

I felt like I should work in med surg to get hospital experience before becoming a NP, so I applied at this local hospital and was hired on the med surg floor. I like the job just fine, but it comes down to money. I couldn't afford to leave my old job (it was a 30% difference in pay between one job and the other) so I foolishly thought I could handle working both jobs. I'm so tired I can't give my new job the kind of dedication I am satisfied with. If I have to choose between one job or the other I will have to keep my old job. I feel awful, because I went through orientation and have worked about 4 shifts. They are even giving me a patient load now (is it normal to have a patient load after 3 days orientation?) Anyway, I'm supposed to work there 12 hours tomorrow and I don't feel like I can do it. Will they be really mad at me for resigning? Do you think they will expect me to finish orientation? I'm supposed to be in orientation 4-6 weeks. What is the most gracious way to leave? Should I show up tomorrow? Or send an email? I need to get out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan...thanks for any advice.