Trixxy

That's the absolute truth!

Javajunkie said :rotfl: :rotfl:

hmmm

"WPW"?? Please define for me.

Ok...now ya'll are gonna find out just what kinda twisted individual I really am. I apologize in advance if this offends anyone...but it absolutely cracks my a** up today thinking about it. I sent one of my most trusted STNA's to collect a urine specimen from a l.o.m. (little old man) with a diagnosis of alzheimers. He wasn't behaving as usual, and wanted to make sure he wasn't packing a UTI. It took my STNA ALL night to get this little specimen, although she had made several attempts to collect it throughout the night. Finally, at 7AM, just before our shift was over, the STNA comes to my office with the specimen in hand. She stressed to me how "hard" it had been for her to get it and assured me she didn't want to collect another specimen from him any time soon. The next night, I go into work and I find out in report that the urine specimen my STNA had worked so diligently at getting for me, wasn't any good!! It seems it had been contaminated with"...............................you guessed it....sperm! I went to my computer and made her an award "For going above and beyond the line of duty while collecting a "hard" urine specimen". :chuckle

When I worked in an ENT office a mother came in with her son and told us that her son had "taters" in his ear. Snickering it off and just thinking she just meant he needed his ears cleaned, we got him up in the chair and pulled down the microscope to look in his ear...low and behold, it wasn't a "tater" but a bean that had sprouted folage. Needless to say, the little boy had to go under general anesthesia in the hospital to get his ear cleaned out. Quite a learning experience and quite gross. The pessary line was a true experience too. While working in the ED, a l.o.l. (little old lady) told us that she had a plant growing out from her "private area". I thought the lady had been confused, but the doctor told me to get her up in the stirrups...you can imagine my surprise at what we found. I will never forget that sight and that smell as long as I live. The erection line was true too. When I worked in a prison, an inmate climbed off his bunk to take his first morning pee...and slipped, smacking that 'thing' on the bed post on his jump down. Although, the member has no bones, the doctor diagnosed him as having a fractured member. It folded on itself. He was in terrible pain...the erection couldn't go down because the blood was trapped from it folding on itself. You guessed it..the poop line was true too. While working 3rd shift at a nursing home, I went into a patient's room to see why she was humming and awake at such a late hour. I walked over to her bed in the dark and leaned over the rail to talk to her quietly so I wouldn't wake up her room-mate. When I finished talking to her, I walked out of the room to let the STNA's know that there was a brown alert in her room...looked down and saw I had poop all over the front of my uniform. The STNA's told me AFTER the fact that she had a history of making sculptures out of her poop and set them on her side rails to dry. Gotta love this job eh? :D

"They dee-cee-did the heparin she was taking" meaning "They d/c'd her heparin." "Corn-fused" instead of "confused". "Olt-timers" instead of "Alzheimers".

When a mother tells you, "There's taters growin outta his ears!!" believe her!! Don't just automatically think that she means he hasn't washed his ears in awhile.

I've worked ED...learned alot. I've worked ICU...learned alot. I've worked telemetry..learned alot of stuff. I've worked ENT, OB/GYN, gastroenterology, podiatry, internal medicine, and facial plastics...learned a WHOLE lotta stuff. I've worked in a prison...learned WAY too much stuff. I now work in LTC...learning alot..and loving it.

Gwenith said, :rotfl: :roll :rotfl: :roll That's probably all I'd bring in with me too!! I just thought of another one... Never...NEVER...lean against the bed rail of a patient who has a history of making poop sculptures and sits them on the railing "to dry".:imbar

Absolutely apply. We've had many high school students work at a hospital I used to work at. As long as it doesn't interfere with your schooling...not up too late, etc...by all means go for it!

Although I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose, I'm thinking along the same lines as Sharann...sounds like a sick building. Please get him to a good Internal medicine doctor ASAP and have a thorough workup done. Wishng both of you good results...let us know.

He asked you...I would've been honest with him too. What as his reaction after your honesty?

It's gotta be ICU. I worked it and was way too stressed out all the time.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Imastork

Jrnalist2RNinOR said: :rotfl: :rotfl:

No, actually SmilingBluEyes posted: TSTL Syndrome and MD Terminator posted : Just today a patient taught me that spermacidal foam tastes like Downey Sorry SmilingBluEyes and MD Terminator ..I should have clarified that. :kiss

TSTL Syndrome?? :roll Just today a patient taught me that spermacidal foam tastes like Downey :rotfl:

or use OraJel inside the urethra as a local anesthetic. :rotfl: :rotfl:

:chuckle

Just thought of one more... Never...NEVER...get in a scrap with someone in an electric wheelchair! You will undoubtedly get run over!

Puts a whole new twist on that ole saying "Bite my arce!!" doesn't it?

Ewwwwwwww..I'll never eat caramel corn again without thinking of that!! 20 fr?? Holey moley!!

I ose to ork for a doctor that craved baking soda...they never figured out what was causing it tho.

:chuckle :roll :roll :chuckle