misplaced1

Thanks to Porridge for reminding me that I was lucky enough to get injured while in the last semester of school. I say lucky because that really helped to open my eyes! I could work but was slow. I came in and worked a bit but was told to go and that in the real world I should have called out and would be out for the next several weeks until I could get back up to speed. I do understand this but in what other professional job are you out due to a minor physical injury? If I had been a doctor , sonographer, lab tech etc with my injury I would have been able to work. It made me realize that in addition to the stress, any little sports injury could put me out for weeks. From there I started talking to people that were already in the field around here and found out that if they developed any kind of health problem they tried not to let anyone find out because THEIR COWORKERS would make their life miserable if they found out they had IBS or chronic fatigue or something.

This is the problem. You are mistaken, your life should not be all about "the patient" Doctors are not taught this. Paramedics are not taught this. Xray techs are not taught this. You get the picture. The patient should be first in an emergency but unfortunatly nurses are taught that the patient comes first ALWAYS- before themselves. This is an extremely codependent attitude which must be swallowed whole and lived in order to be a "good nurse". Life is short. I decided not long after school that while I wanted to help people I am important too, to myself, to my family, to my friends. I come back here periodically just to see if there is a way I could work as a nurse, I like taking care of people. But, sadly every time I start reading I discover that nursing has still not grown up an become a profession but, is still a place where those with sad life circumstances and dysfunctional family upbringings, can gain self esteem by proving their worth through self sacrifice. This not a put down. Its just not who I am anymore. I am codependent no more. I have no need to play the "I can sacrifice more than you" game with another human being. I found the hospital environment to be very much a dysfunctional family environment where divided and conquer was the primary managment scheme and people will encouraged to write each other up and tell on each other before even trying to talk face to face about an issue no matte how small. I have had many jobs in a wide variety of professional and nonprofessional environments. I have never seen anything like it in my life and it was EVERYWHERE save one place I rotated through. I kept thinking it cant be like this everywhere, but for the most part it was. When I am having a bad day I just think back to one of the nursing settings I worked in and thank God above I am not going to be pulled in twenty directions and work with the nastiest rudest people I have ever meant in my life. There are very nice nurses out there but bless them they are typcially people that are comfortable being abused.

I think this is the most likely scenario. I already worked in one field where a similar thing happened. We are becoming a global economy and that is not going to stop. Just having and education in something is not going to make one stand out. There has to be something about you specifically that makes your company money. Hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living etc etc, all businesses first and foremost. In nursing I think it is hard to stand out. Even with multiple certifications etc etc since "clients" (customers) don't really understand what you are doing they really only see that you are kind, bring mom's blanket quickly etc etc. That you got the meds right they dont notice, but they do notice if its wrong. And in the end success will be mainly attributed to the doctor that did the surgery, or whatever they did. Its hard to get credit for something as a nurse and additionally I think the profession itself actually propetuates that with the perpetuation of the "you first, me second" attitude (known as codependence in other circles). For these and other reasons I decided to back burner the RN degree I earned for now and am in another field, a little less money but so much less stress that I could take on 10-20 more hours to bring myself up to a Rn wage, and be happy stress free and have more job security. I learned a lot about taking car of myself and my family though and that knowledge is priceless. I think the most important lesson I learned was to take good care of myself so I stay out of the hospital! They are too short handed in there!

I agree with Eyeball. Ruby Vees post is just plain nasty. If the things she has posted here are truely how she feels I suspect the respect she believes she is getting from new nurses is just plain fear. Many people like to instill fear in others they see as weaker to make them feel superior. So the only way one can be "better" in nursing is if they give up the rest of their life and health to it. And for what? I like to help people but, I do not need complements from strangers to feel good about myself. All this extreme self sacrifice hits me as incredibly unnecessary and in fact detrimental. Healthy happy people who do not put their backs in jeopardy make better employees AND much better role models for patients trying to take care of their own health. We tell patients to control stress take care of themselves, we need to do the same. Just watch how much money this country would save on health care if we all did that. Nurses could be great role models but, many are too busy being martyrs. This is not healthy for nurse or patient. It is called CODEPENDENT. Don't kid yourself, CODEPENDENT is NOT HEALTHY for ANYONE. Even though codependence seems to be encouraged in nursing school. Don't fool yourself, CODEPENDENCE is NOT HEALTHY for ANYONE. Herein lies the MAIN problem in nursing. CODEPENDENCE is ENCOURAGED beginning in nursing school. Then it is reinforced by the terrible working conditions one will get "used to" similar to the way that people get used to abuse. "Put others first" "do not be concerned with yourself", taken in the right context these are christian values but they are also values that are encouraged by abusive people and corporations to get you to WORK HARDER FOR THEM WITHOUT CONCERN for YOUR LIFE OR FAMILY. And really, how dare anyone question WHY I do a particular job? Its my life and none of your business. To my knowledge nursing is the ONLY job where this is an issue and it is beyond ridiculous. Nursing schools need to start hiring people that are not nurses to teach a course "how to be a professional." Number one on the list is get your nose out of other people's business and focus on your own performance. Really it is sickening to have spent alll the time getting a degree in something with this kind of attitude from the other "professionals" in your field. I have decided I will never ever work in a hospital setting unless things are much different then they are now. Soon we will find that nursing jobs are done more and more by mostly unlicensed people anyway, I would bet the farm on it.

Make sure that the recent RN grads are getting jobs in your area prior to going through all of this. Remember that you need to get a job failry quickly a a nurse or your skills will get old and no one will wnat you. So if no one is really hiring nurses might want to hold onto your current position and NOT GET IN DEBT for a job that might not be available. Also I am also a single mom. In my area the only jobs available for new nurses are night shift in nursing homes. I dont might nights and at the hospital where they have nightcare that would be fine but that is not the case at nursing homes. Night care can be done by college kids etc but theyare not always dependable. Also really cuts into the salary so I can work at another job that is les stressful during the day and will get more money with no childcare expense. For this and other reasons in the end I have decided that this career is going on the back burner. Please think this ALL the way through. When I started the jobs were abundant at the hospital but by the time I finished that was not the case. Its a bummer. I had plans to advance my education but for this an other reasons I have just about decided to back burner all of it, cut my losses and move in another direction. To be honest it is almost a relief to have made a decision. No learning is wasted but my little family has to come first. Good luck to you

Do not get into nursing because of the "shortage" hype. There is no shortage of nurses only a shortage of jobs for them. A job in pediatrics will be especiallly hard to get. Getting a job in peds first prior to getting your nursing degree wil mkae yo more likely to get into peds. Otherwise you may go all through nursing school and find out the only jobs you can get are in nursing homes. And someone needs to tell that once you get an RN the lower level jobs are no longer available to you so no more getting your foot in the door. Wish someone had told me that.

Agreed. And this is my problem. While nurses do a VERY important job it is not the ONLY important job.

The reason so many nurses have a problem with people wanting to do nursing "as a job" instead of as their "purpose in life" is because they themselves have low self esteem and need to believe they are "better" than others. Once again, nursing is FULL of codependents wit their resulting low self image, that need to feel above other in some way " the angels of mercy" to feel ok with themselves. People with low self images must do things to pull up their own self esteem and often this is by putting other down (saying "she is just in it for the money" while thinking " I am so much better then that,!) It is well known that people that feel poorly about themselves "rescue" others to feel better about themselves. It gives them a God-like image of themselves. What better profession to enter if rescuing others is what makes you feel good? Self sacrifice is also something that makes codependents feel good and the more sacrifice the better which is a reason I suspect nursing will never really advance to the "professional" status that it could have and deserves considering the job and education required. It is a lost cause to try to really improve a job where a group of people that live to sacrifice themselves and compete to see who can sacrifice themselves more and take more. This rampant codependent is also the reason for the cattiness which IS worse in nursing than any job I have ever had expereince in by a long long shot. I think it is best to keep your mouth shut and pretend that you got into nursing for whatever reason those around you find acceptable and agree with what they say unless it is to your detriment or those you take care of. While it seems dishonest this is typcially the best course of action to deal with judgmental people who can't run their own life and have not enough self realization to understand their own motivagtion but are constantly concerned about the motivation of other people. You will see here people all the time talking about how we are all nurses and RN's should have to clean up poo just as much as the next nurse etc etc. Of course there is nothing wrong with doing what has to be done, but the problem is that nurses are not all the same. They dont have the same education and they dont get paid the same. Employers get sick and tired of having to pay people lots of money to do something that someone with a few courses could do for less money. More and more techs/medicine aids will be doing nursing jobs and the only reason there are not already more of them I believe is because this conversion has to be done at a not too rapid pace to keep things at an even keel. Nursing could be a wonderful profession but i have come to the realization it will not be. I believe that there is hope for advanced practices and specialities but, even that is being held back by the cattiness of nurses who want to rest on their laurels and complain like crabs in a basket. Employers want EMPLOYEES and are running a BUSINESS. Even if medicine becomes socialized there is still a limit to how much money can be spent, there will always be a bottom line and nurses are simily too expensive and COMPLETELY impossible to please. Worrying about other people's motivations for what they do.. give me a break get a life- get your own life in order!

Get used to it, this happens a lot in nursing

Often people change completely AFTER you marry them or have a baby, once they feel "safe." This is a known fact in the area of domestic abuse although I am not saying that is what she is experiencing here. She does state however that her husband is "mean". I would betcha he got mean AFTER the marriage and meaner AFTER the kids. Lots of times these guys get mean once they are not the center of their world ie the kids are born. Many of us have worked extra hard to save our marriages when we have children and that is as it should be. Some of us maybe have hung in there too long or tried to hard in a loosing battle. But, the constant reminders that it is always the fault of both in the marriage that it failed, this is completely UNTRUE. Read the marriagebuilders website or other information about abuse. Continually telling people in abusive relationships whether they are physcially, emotionally verbally abuse, that it is both their faults is something that keeps them tied in and continuing to try and fix the marriage. the problem is you just cant fix it on your own.

Agreed! Devoting yourself to people who might not even spit on you if you were on fire and to an employer that would lay you off in a minute if they had to shave 100$ off their 100 thou plus a year paycheck seems not so bright to me. I am always a good employee and I love people but, I love me and my family first. If everyone would get devote themselves to their own family and get their own house straight first and put the rest of the people in their life second where they should be, imagine the world we would live in. I have found that many of the people that have things out of order, in my mind anyway, its because their home life is crazy and they cant get that under control so they devote themselves to something they feel they have more control of like work, It is sad.

If you were in another profession no one would probably raise an eyebrow about this. In my old field people did it all the time. IT is because is is NURSING and in nursing everything any nurse does is suspect by other nurses (the martyrs who are not in it for the money - I still have not heard a decent explanation for how they justify taking a paycheck when they are not in it for the money but all this suspicion about peoples motives is enough to make one want to puke. People that are were not raised around abuse or have recovered from it dont adapt well to this junk and hence the hundreds of thousands of rns that are not practicing. Perhaps they to dared to volunteer to get theri foot in the door for a job, asked for more money, expected to get out on time to pick up children from daycare or some other such nonsense. Some people just have incredibly high standards for a job I mean after all employers are so devoted to us, we should risk life and limb to get to work, work over whenever asked and wait patiently with our legs crossed for a job the paycheck from which we should donate to charity. The more I read these threads the more I truely feel misplaced. And I really love people. I just didnt know I would have to unlove myself to be a nurse and that that requirement would manily come from other nurses!

I am from a pharmaceutics background. The pharm industry is changing but the medical industry overall is still in pretty good shape. You could look into pharm companies, bio companies all kinds of med equipment companies. They like people with backgrounds in both medical and finance as there are not a lot of people with backgrounds like that. People are usually ether or. I think if you want to be a hospital or nursing home administrator it may help to get MSN but if you go work for a compnay that does research and or marketing of medical products, and there are TONS of them, you would get a job probably without too much nursing experience even. I know a couple people with business backgrounds that went right from nursing school to jobs like that when i lived in the dc area. In my area, which is rural there are not compnanies like that around cause if there were that is what i would be trying to do

There is no nursing shortage there WAS a shortage of nurses that want to work as nurses because its a stressful job but now it seems like in most places there is a shortage of jobs

I know lots of people that never did work in a hosptial and are educators in different capacity, many working for health depts. Yo could always pick up a few shifts with the hospice. If they think you can do it and you arent putting anyones life in danger why not give it a shot if its something you like the position wont be around forever. Sounds to me like you are lucky to get an op for something you may like this early on.