up2late

Because nursing is a field of "caring" as well as dealing with extremely graphic personal details (i.e. nakedness, poop, blood) and feelings (grieving, pain, fear, etc.), I would say that those who choose to be nurses via "feeling the call" are more likely to be "touchy-feely" people in that they are in tune with their own emotions and feelings, or at least open to dealing with those things from others. They are nurturers or at least protectors (thus the gruff nurse). In this manner, I would say they can certainly breed other nurses. (I have seen teachers breed teachers, and community volunteers breed community volunteers, as well.) A caring compassionate mom or dad nurse might certainly raise children who are caring and compassionate or have nieces and nephews and grandchildren who see them as role models of "caring people who make a difference" -- indeed nursing is considered the "most trusted" of professions in the U.S. All that is to say, it appears nurturers and protectors and act-ers (ones who act on what they feel) may certainly raise and support these traits in others. And the opposite may be true: those who are not comfortable talking about poop and blood and emotions may raise people who are not. I have one aunt (not by blood) who is a nurse. She (wonderful, though she is) has not in any manner influenced my becoming a nurse - to my knowledge. A good friend about 15 years my senior is a nurse, and to my knowledge she did not influence me, either. Maybe she did. I prayed about direction in my life (no, I'm actually NOT a Bible thumper, but I was kind of wallowing in directionlessness with a degree under my belt), and I put together the pieces of who I am: caring, love people, patient, don't mind things other people see as disgusting, love science. Many of my friends are this way and have gone one by one into various aspects of the medical field in direct contact with patients (nurses, pt's, pa's, etc). Also, since studies have shown that depression is caused by both by genes and environment and tends to run in families...and from this one might say being in touch with emotion runs in families or is supported in particular environments, who knows? Maybe being open to another's emotions and physical needs runs in families and is nurtured in these family environments, too? Who knows?

Yes. In fact, this is what HR is for: human relations. HR is there for conflict resolution and rule enforcement. Fact: lady isn't supposed to wear perfume; at my location it is a dress code violation, for which a person can be penalized and eventually dismissed. Fact: you have discussed the issue directly with her in a healthy, non-confontational manner. Fact: her supervisor has discussed the issue with her. These are items which should be brought up with HR. If it is a written rule (no wearing of perfume), then it is enforceable, and so HR can say to a supervisor, you need to enforce this. Or, HR can determine with you or with supervisor other manners do deal with the issue, but fact is, lady's breaking the rules and it's causing physical illness in her co-worker, let alone other possible patients. It's beyond personal preference at this point. She is effectively being a bully and saying 'so, what?' to you and her own boss - and her boss isn't doing a thing about it. That makes it a managerial issue as well. HR should certainly hear about it; this is exactly what they are there for. Go to HR. Then COME BACK AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENED! :heartbeat

BrokenRNHeart, I hope you are still reading the replies, 'cz I have a little good news for you. There are many nursing students and recent grads who care very much about patient care. I'm not sure of your location, but in my area there are at least 5 major hospitals and several schools turning out both RN, RN to BSN, BSN, and MSNP students/grads. True, some just want to have a job to make money - isn't that the way the world sadly is? Otherwise, I know several hundred other students from my time as a student who are people who have a degree in a non-nursing field but who went back to school - started all over again - to become nurses, because they felt the call to make a day to day difference in patients' lives. On that account, please do not feel so discouraged. :wink2: You mentioned the nursing shortage. Indeed, there is a shortage not just within the United States, but all over the world, and sadly and wonderfully, we are considered a hot commodity, us U.S. educated nurses, so some go abroad. However, the real issue with the shortage is the big bottle neck which is going to get worse for a while: not only are nurses retiring, but nursing FACULTY is retiring. This leads to thousands of would-be nursing students being turned down for admission. In my program alone, several hundred were turned down even with GPA's of 3.3 and higher, plus plenty of community volunteer work. Nursing schools simply cannot turn out the nurses fast enough to keep up with retirement of nurses and nursing faculty, and the nurses on floors are feeling the strain of being caught in the middle. I am sorry for this awful feeling of needing help. There are decent people training to be nurses even now as we speak. :heartbeat Something else you mentioned was people not untangling others, not turning others, not listening to their patients, etc. Indeed, I have found this to be the case as well. The truth is, some people (wherever you go, whatever field you go into) do not do what they are there being paid to do. It is difficult, but you must try to remind yourself that simply because someone ELSE did not untangle the wires does not make YOU a bad nurse. Because someone else did not empty the bedpan does not make YOU a bad nurse. YOU are doing what you should, and I beg you to remember that there are patients who will remember you and be thankful for you and even say prayers for you years later, as I do when I remember the nurses I have had over the years. I remember the good ones who held my hand when I was scared, who brought me a blanket when I was cold before surgery, who jabbed at my arm 5 times and left me black and blue before I finally said ENOUGH, GET ME SOMONE ELSE... and the next said he would get it in one shot or call someone else - and he DID get it! Remind yourself that just because there are jerks out there making your job near impossible, people do notice, the patients, the coworkers, God/the universe. It is not all for naught. *YOU KNOW.* Sometimes you wonder why you try so hard, why you can't stop yourself from caring. Keep caring, but don't just care for THEM, care for YOU. You are doing good things. Loving things. Another thing you mentioned is these people who don't do their jobs. Sit and socialize, etc. It is important to document this at home, and to report it at work. If your supervisor is a member of the group, then to another supervisor or to human resources or an anonymous card or however you need to do it. In addition, it is important to remember that just because you were told not to come back, it could be a blessing in disguise. By that I mean, have you ever been fired for no wrong doing on your own part... and found years later that it was really the best thing to happen to you? What does it mean? It means God or the universe is saying, look, lady, you are too good for this place, to be treated this way! DO NOT GO BACK! And if YOU are going to insist on going back, well, lady, I WON'T LET YOU!!! Look at this as a wonderful wall being put up that you are not to return to such an awful environment; it is no good for you, and you are needed elsewhere! I am sorry that you are feeling frustrated. I think it is very important that you shared your thoughts here, and I hope that you are open to the good things coming your way in life. I don't remember nurses' faces, but I remember nurses' actions and their hearts I recognized underneath. People may not write you thank you notes or come back to see you, but I guarantee those you touched 15 years prior or 10 years or last year... they know. Indeed, perhaps you were asked not to return because that woman appreciated your action and said something like 'why could she get it done but none of YOU ALL could?' and they were embarrassed. You just never know. I appreciate you and I don't even know you. Thank you for being a good example for all of us newer-ish nurses. Keep on keepin' on, lady!

I experienced as a nursing student that, while we had certain responsibilities (a.m. care, bed linens, and vitals), we must either have our nurse retrieve the medications from the computer (which will not later release the same meds for the same patient twice), or if we have a code ourselves, we must retrieve the medications (again from the computer system which will not let us double draw even if not documented in the patient's file as administered) and then show our nurse what the medications are and tell her what they are for and why the patient is receiving them. True, not all locations for nurses have this kind of computerized med system. It is certainly one which cuts down on double administration. Indeed, it becomes impossible. I do agree that many of the errors addressed are not just student errors, but certainly regular nursing errors dependent upon too much patient load per nurse, lack of communication, lack of sleep (due to over work), etc. Communication and support are key, plus documentation - whether students are involved or not. People need to be willing to ask for help if needed, to document when when what they needed was not available, how various situations make them feel on a daily basis, etc. I understand some unit nurses will often feel so unsupported and understaffed and generally stressed, they start getting caged-rat syndrome: rats in too small a cage will begin biting and killing each other from the sheer stress. It is super important that we try not to take out frustration and worry on each other, but support each other and encourage and communicate - regardless of student or new nurse or long time nurse status. Patient care is not a competition; it is a goal we can all work toward and help each other along the way if we open ourselves to the experience.

I read on this board about all kinds of things, including nursing in the Middle East and discussions about male nurses bathing female patients. I discuss things I find here of interest with fellow nurses. This board is for learning and sharing, no? Not for dragging down. If this is the case, why shouldn't we all be telling others about it?

I consider myself a fairly liberated woman, and much as I hate to admit it, I refuse to have a male gynecologyst. That said, you can act professional and remember you have the same training, etc... But in the end - literally and metaphorically - you have to remember not to take it personally if a female doesn't want a male nurse to bathe her. You're a guy, and most females even today don't want a guy they don't know touching their personal areas. Imagine it this way: you are a perfectly lucid guy in the hospital as a patient. If you had your choice between a male to bathe you and a female, who would be your preference? Don't take it personally. It ain't about you.