FormerBROKENrn

I wish it would have been that easy. I had the director of the court program write letters, my counselors from the year of outpt counseling/recovery (more ptsd covid coping related than drug addiction but regardless of what led to or what happened......I needed help) group I attended on my own. My current employer (that I had been with for 2 years when they finally contacted me) wrote letters on my behalf. It didn't matter. I had been through a year of outpt therapy with weekly to biweekly drug screens, I was up front with my new job about everything from the start so they asked me to take random drug screens for the first year (of course I complied), and the 2 years of the pretrial program for the court (charged me with felony that I still have to get expunged but costs 5000). I had never been in any trouble. Not even a ticket or any employment problems. But even after the 3 years of monitoring (between the courts, myself, and my job) Im starting all over. I know I did the crime and violated the trust of everyone I know but unless you actually worked a covid floor for 2 years during the start until the "end" of the initial pandemic....you can't understand what I mean when I say I was broken. A shell of my former self going through motions with absolutely NO emotions. I had turned off everything to get through it and when it was over and I couldnt turn the emotions back on I freaked out. I don't even remember alot of the 2 months of stupidity that happened before but the fact that we all saw and dealt with things that would change us forever (I don't know about others but my job offered no therapy or time off for taking care of ourselves) was not taken into account during deciding my punishment. The first contact I had was the ASP. Took them 3 years and I had 5 days to agree or have a hearing. They determined my punishment before having any information on what I had done to better myself the time between. And not lessening anyone's problems or blaming covid....but it definitely was a major contributing factor that should have been taken into consideration. Sorry, I ramble. Just frustrating and the checking in everyday for the next 4.5 years (already got 6 months down) is stomach turning.

@mississippiRN71 Is this currently going on or was this previously? May seem like a stupid question but my dates for posting have been sorting all kinds of crazy. I can't private message without paying $30 bucks or making certain number of riveting posts. Im currently only 6 months in, for the wonderful state of MS (took them almost 3 years.....which I had already completed court ordered 1.5/2 year probation program) and had finally started getting my life back....then the board contacts me 4 months before that is over and starts a new one all over again. I don't know if you can send me a message or not. Any tips or support ppl can offer each other through this absolutely ridiculous money making (cant work any OT or have a 2nd job but make sure you show up for your $89/ea tests minimum of 1 but max of 3 times a month) especially in the same state cant hurt!! Wishing everyone well and keep laughing through the misery. It won't last forever!!

Thank you so much for that post. I took my test last monday and found out wednesday that I passed. The test shut off at 75 and I was mortified. I wanted to scream 'give me more questions I promise I know enough to pass this test' but the screen was blank. I finished my little survey and walked out of the testing center feeling like a failure. I didn't know half the stuff on there. There was NO way that I passed. I yelled at people who were trying to help me out but they had no idea what kind of test I had just taken. How could they be sure I passed when I was the one taking the test and I knew I failed? My friend takes her test in a couple days and I'm going to tell her to come read this post. Thanks for taking the time to make a few other future nurses feel normal!!!

I PASSED!!!!! I don't have a computer at my house....I know it's 2007 but nursing school can break ya....so a friend of mine checked and called me. Wow I'm SOOOOOOOOO relieved!!!

wannaBEanRN- I'm right there with you. I took mine yesterday morning and feel like I failed. I started at 9 and was done by 9:40. When the computer shut off at 75 questions I was horrified. I made good grades all through school but that was unlike anything I had ever taken before. I had tons of meds that I had never heard before, 6 mark all that apply, and the rest were priority. I think there were only 4 or 5 that I knew for sure. I've been checking the state board of nursing every couple of hours hoping that my results will be on there but they're not. I think it takes 48 hours but I keep hoping by some miracle mine will be on early haha. Just remember to breathe!!! haha. Isn't that funny since I'm here worrying nonstop so I know it's impossible. GOOD LUCK!!!

I'm new here. A friend told me about this website and how great it was for info and support. I took the nclex rn yesterday and now I'm in a pure state of panic. I woke up the morning of my test with a cold and a fever. Couldn't breathe and you can't bring tissues into the room with you so I had that going against me from the start. The people who had taken it before me said it wasn't too bad so I took a deep breath and started the test. 40 minutes later it was over. I had gotten 75 questions and don't feel like I got any of them right. I had maybe 3 easy questions and the rest were degelation and who would you see first but they all needed to be seen first. I feel like I failed and I can't stop worrying about it. Anyone else been through it or have any words of advice? I feel like if I was bad enough in the first 75 for them to determine I failed wouldn't the questions have been a little easier? I think it adjusts to the level you're answering and none of my questions seemed like knowledge based....maybe I'm just trying to rationalize the fear of failing... Thanks for any words of wisdom...