AshestoBeauty

Sophie, I 100% agree with you when you say newbies should be made to feel welcome. I also agree that you shouldn't have to put in "time" to get that support and respect. But I don't find this to be the case in most instances. If an agency nurse shows up, I give her little heads up on certain patients and procedures. At first s/he may feel alittle defensive but I don't want this nurse to feel she's not welcomed. It's my way of saying glad you're here and I'm here to help out if you need it because every facility does things a little differently than the other. This usually breaks the ice and we have a smooth shift. I walked in on a staff newbie who was having trouble with a feeding tube. She had a look of panic as if I were going to yell at her and ask her what the heck was going on. Instead I dropped my stuff (I was on my way out the door), jumped in and helped her out. However, more often I've seen more newbies and agency nurses get yelled at. I don't understand this mentality. It's almost saying "get out the way...you don't know what you're doing". I've seen nurses get yelled at by other nurses at the nurses station in front of other nurses when it absolutely wasn't necessary. this burns me up. I've yet to meet a supernurse who feels the need to yell and belittle other nurses. I have met supernurses who will take you to the side and not embarrass you and show you a better way. Once you have proven yourself, there's less yelling and more acceptance but I wholeheartedly agree that it shouldn't be this way but unfortunately, it is this way. And for the record, the ones who yell the most and act as if they know the most actually are not as competent as they try to impress others that they are. But they usually get the resepct from others because they give a very good impression and when they do make errors, and believe me, they do, others usually dismiss it as s/he was just having a bad day. Bad day my foot. You'd be surprise how many errors or meds that didn't get pass that they do. And how do I know? Sealed meds or if you ask them where a specific med is they don't know. Strange because not only do I have to pass it, you were suppose to have passed it on your shift. How come you don't know where it is, yet you've signed off on it and you're yelling at a newbie or agency nurse over something trivial? I've read other posts (not this thread) about how this profession eats its young and I have found this to be more true than false. You make good points, Peace. Ashes

i'm not so sure the original post was meant to be demeaning. it seemed to be made in fun. i'm just as sensitive as the next person but we need to learn to laugh don't we. maybe my skin is tougher than yours but i wouldn't go overboard with the original post and be overly sensitive. and honestly, i've really yet to meet that "supportive" staff. once you show what you know, with humility may i add, then respect and support will follow. i've been a newbie, i've had to put my foot down when it comes to snubby remarks thrown my way but i feel confident enough to know my job and i don't feel a need to jump in and correct everything and everybody. if you like me, great, if not, great. as a fellow nurse, i will always have your back, provided you're above board and legal, and my support and backing is not based on who's nice to me. :kiss and to bully, as for being a newbie, my policy for buying lunch is for you to keep waiting until after my first raise, luv. :roll lighten up a little, ashes

Forgot to add that I was asked how would I handle nurses who weren't as helpful as I would like. How would i feel if a nurse told me to "get it yourself, or do it yourself". I answered that since I was a new nurse, I won't have the experience or answers that seasoned nurse would have. The wrong thing would be to guess. I said I would not take that personality personally, instead, I'd do the best I can and find a nurse who will be willing to help and I will find one who will help. I'm that confident that I will resolve the issue with a nurse who can help me do so. I also said that even though a nurse may not be initially friendly, if s/he is good, I'm going to watch them and learn what I can. Once, a nurse complimented me on how well I handle codes and i told her I learned from the best by watching her even though she didn't know it. I was bull.... her. I meant that. I watched how she quickly assessed and knew exactly what equipment to grab for and how to use it. After that, she warmed up to me, alittle. Ashes

Also, have an idea of "what if" scenerios. I was asked what would i do in such and such a situation with a patient that has such and such diagnosis. Also, be able to kick around a few meds and their uses. Ashes

I haven't yet read all the posts but everyone is so encouraging. I like the variety I've read in how to deal with death. I couldn't finish reading all the posts but I will. I started crying. My quick 2 cents: Son got married, wife got pregnant, had miscarriage while he was away in the service. They're both under 25. Son went to Iraq. Came home to wife on a leave and she got pregnant. Shortly after his tour of duty was over, came home and the baby was born 2 weeks later. After dealing with death on the frontline, he has a gift of a son being born, got to cut the cord, etc. 7 weeks later, baby died of SIDS. The EMT's and ED nurses and docs where fabulous to say the least. There was not one dry eye in the ED, including other patients. Just showing that we are human, that we do have emotions, that we do feel pain goes such a long way with the family. Sometimes its the emotions, not the words that give great comfort for the family. Even though I am a nurse, that night I was a grandmother. I needed those nurses. All my "nursing" strength went flying out the door. When I "released" my grandbaby into the hands of my sister and brother nurses and EMT's, I knew my grandbaby was in good hands and it even though there was alot of silence, it was the tears we all shed that touched me most. Even the police dept was compassionate. Believe me, when the family members looked into your eyes, they were greatly comforted. Ashes

Hello to Everyone, My young grandson (just turned 3), has been recently diagnosed with leukodystrophy. I read about what I could find on the internet. Have any of you actually worked with patients with this disease? What am I to expect? what is the life expectancy? I kinda get the impression that the doctors and nurses are proceeding with care with the parents considering that they just lost an infant to SIDS and now this. When he turned 2, I suggested (okay, insisted, but only to my son, not the daughter-n-law) that the child get some neurological testing because he's not hitting milestones, for example, making sounds but not able to speak the language, not walking, not able to use crayons, utencils, underdeveloped feet, glazed look. Originally the doctors thought it was cerebral palsy but after extensive testing, they've changed diagnosis. Parents are handling things wonderfully, considering all that they've been through. The child is receiving physical, occupational, and speech therapy and is scheduled for surgery to correct his foot. When he walks, one leg swings out. He can't bring it in as hard as he tries. Due to therapy, he is able to now walk. It's not real steady but it's coming along. And he's now able to hold a crayon, my walls can attest to that. Any info anyone can share, I'd love to have. THanks, Ashes

Just wanted to ditto on that. Why not first learn new facility's policies and if something doesn't jive with you, go to the DON about it. By telling me and all the other nurses on the floor is suppose to accomplish what? In the end, its the supervisor who changes policy so go directly to her. I'm not going to do it for you. There is a time to talk and a time to just be quiet, look, listen and learn. If my wound nurse says to use a dry dressing, I'm going to do it her way. S/he has reasons for it. If a new nurse disagrees, go to the wound nurse and express what changes need to be made, don't complain to me about it. Ashes

Then why aren't they still there?! I've ran into nurses like this and it boils my blood. If this facility is beneath them, go find one that is up to par according to their standards. People tend to overcompensate their deficiencies by placing their skills way ahead of everyone else's and the classic line is "Well the way we did it at my last job is...." I always ask so why aren't you still there. Then you get a story about how its never their fault, it was the new DON, or the unit supervisor who couldn't appreciate their expert skills, yadda, yadda, yadda. I hate working with whiners. If it's so bad here and you feel your license is being compromised, leave and take your no-fault story with you to the next employer. Maybe they'll schedule time to listen and sulk with you. But for now, we need to do a dressing change. Got tape? Ashes

I agree that many places want experience but there are ways around that. Don't be too quick to rule out agency nursing. Go an different assignments and see what you like best. Agency is difficult in that when you go to a facility, you'll need to know your stuff. You need to know s/s's, where supplies are kept, how to do various procedures on your own because staff nurses are busy doing their own assignment. But don't be afraid to ask. If I don't know, I ask. Some staff nurses are helpful, some not so helpful. And follow what you see. I've learned alot from seasoned nurses just by watching. Leave your sensitive, easy to get hurt feelings at home. Nurses are busy and don't have time to walk you through what school should've taught you. The good thing about working agency is that it gives you an idea of where your niche is. Personally, I like ER and take those assignments when offered, which is far and few inbetween because I'm an LPN but I like fast paced nursing. If I don't know, I ask and if I get a nasty look, I don't take it personally, I just ask later or someone else. But I don't ask alot of questions. My downfall is speed which I'm happy to say I've greatly improve since I last posted about help for that. Agency also offers home health if that's what you like. Also, agency offers flexiblity as far as working when you want to work. And the pay is good. Many agencies want a years experience but if you're a CNA, get on with several agencies now and after you pass the NCLEX, they'll switch you over to nursing. That's how I did it. I agree with the other posters that say you need good assessment skills to do home health. There's also drug and alcohol facilities that you could work for. Okay, enough of me rambling. Hope it helps. Ashes

It's for this reason that it's more practical to diffuse a situation rather than to invite them to further complain. My experience with people, nursing or otherwise, is that if they feel ignored, they'll take to the next level until they feel they've been heard and validated. I'm not saying this is right, it's just the way some people are and in nursing we can't get away from it. If you antagonize them more, they go to management and management has a different take on medicine than we nurses have. They're looking at it in terms of dollars and cents. In the post where the surgeon got upset, that's because he's not about to loose a patient (translated-income) because the nurse didn't get soup. Again, I'm not saying it's right but reality is that an empty bed means less money from management's POV. We have their support to the extent that it doesn't interfere with their bottom line--the almighty dollar. Ashes

I think the suggestions of NA and the Salvation Army are your best bets for "free" programs. I have personally been where you are now. I was a stay at home mom, taught my kids at hme, lived a very family centered life. My kids had a good childhood. In the midst of our lives, my husband left the family. I had no income, no credit, no place to live. I had to start over with the help of my family. Painfully, I watched this cute kid with braces and a sociable personality slip into a very defiant lifestyle. Prior to this, he never gave me a moment's problem. I've lived through the totalled cars, the late night phone calls from the sheriff or city police, the phone calls from school, the school expulsion. The list goes on. He's done is stint in juvi and adult lock up. I wish I could give you a quick easy fix-it answer. I cannot do so. the best advise I can give you is simply to be there for him. Tough love works sometimes but it's not a cure for all cases. At the risk of being labeled an enabler, never turn away from him no matter how difficult it becomes. He has a compulsion and that compulsion is defiant behavior. It's not your fault. I'm not an advocate of keeping him in jail to learn a lesson. Bring him home but set limits. Help him get a job at a fast food, as a janitor. It gives him dignity. But understand you or your husband will have to do the driving. Do not leave the keys laying around the house. Give him a curfew. At midnight the doors are locked, no exceptions. Hopefully he'll make it in. He'll get tired of being locked out. I never turned my back on my son. I was there for him always and made the sacrifices of transporting him to work. I was at all court appearances. I called the judges before time to let them know I am an involved parent. For me, it took several years for my son to finally pull himself together and he did. It's in the middle of winter and he will walk to work rather than bother me for a ride. He's accepted that part of his life. He understands he's lost his license for several years but he sticks to his payment plan with the courts to pay off his many fines. He's entered a GED program on his own. He helps around the house and has cut loose negative friendships. He has very serious life goals now. He is now 19. He's now working on becoming a manager at the fast food which I drove him to. He has plans to go from manager to district and regional manager to owning his own restaurant. He's very serious about this game plan. This past week, my mother asked him to house sit for her and she said he took excellent care of her house. Did I forget to mention he had practically destroyed her house in a fit of rage at one time. My sibling has a child, well yhoung man now who also had issues and they went the tough love route. To this day, he lives on the streets and unfortunately will more than likely die on the streets. To look at him you would never know he comes from a very affluent family. My point is that tough love is not always the correct answer. Sometimes patience and riding it through has a bigger pay off. And it's not wrong to be there, with limitations of course but you don't always have to abandon your child to make it a point and sometimes it means being called an enabler. Well so be it. You know what limitations you have sat into action. Stick to them. My other family members did not suffer. They banded together to help him and did it willingly. Hope I've encouraged you and your husband. Ashes

I am an LPN so I work subacute, LTC and can only speak on that experience, however, I get the patients that you discharge so I can somewhat relate. In my area, the area hospitals do not use LPNs. I saw one floor that "experimented" with using LPNs and all they did was pass pills, not much else. I'm very hands-on and need more stimulation so I chose nt to go that route. I love nursing and medicine....and I love doctors. Can I say that? So I chose an area where I can utilize alot of skills aside from a typical med pass. I have dealt with the letter writers. IMO, it usually boils down to a need to feel validated. It's a control issue for them. They can't control the progression of their illness but they can demand a pillow and be in control of that. I find that most patients have sympathy for a fellow sufferer and when I finally get that pillow to their room, I explain there was an emergency that I had to tend to but they were not forgotten I made sure they were next on my list. They usually mellow out because they don't want to be the cause of somebody's possible death or code over a silly demand for a pillow. Convincing them that they were next usually convinces them that they too were on the high priority list and that 's what they want to hear. Then you give them the line about how you took the time to find this specific pillow because all of the other ones were to flat and not good enough for them. Again, this gives them a sense of validation. After you help them strategically place this fluffy pillow under their leg or their head or wherever they want it, you ask them what more can you do for them. I usually get a "Oh Honey, dont worry about me, you go finish with that really sick patient. I can wait." It usually works every time. They don't need to know that after the crash, there were 2 other patients ahead of them, not to mention a quick coffee break. Just by telling them you are available to them is pretty much what they want to hear and that because you were busy with an emergency gives them the impression that they've got a hard working nurse who will be attentative to them when and if they crash. It's reassuring for them. They usually end the conversation by saying something about not sending in that other nurse who never works and is always taking breaks. For some reason, some patients believe we nurses are wasting their money by not working and by taking too many breaks. Some have this preconceived notion that those nurses just don't do anything. When you tell them differently and go that extra step by fluffing the pillow in their presence, it tends to calm them down and they put the pen down and put the paper away. Ashes

When I was in school, our clinicals were performed under the license of the instructor. If the instructor did not feel your skills were up to par, s/he had the right to refuse you into that part of the program because it's their license, not ours (because we don't yet have one while in school) that is on the line. It sounds like to me that the skills were lacking, she was given a chance to improve but after one session, the skills could have been so badly lacking that the clinical instructor refused to put her licenses on the line, and rightfully so. I didn't have problems in school but I've seen others almost just make it but did not pass due to lack of skills and the instructor not willing to take the risk. Also sounds like lack of understanding between student and the school about the details of this contract. It could be that after one session, the school saw no reason to go any further with the sessions. But I would encourage Diahni to not give up. She's acknowledged that she needs to brush up on her skills. Do this and then try again. This experience doesn't make you less of a nurse than anyone else. Know where your weaknesses lay, improve upon them and go for it again.

I cannot believe you actually clicked "submit reply" on purpose when you sent this. Respect for one's self means knowing when to gracefully bow out if necessary. And your hardship story doesn't compare to mine. That, I can guarantee you of. It takes guts, maturity and wisdom to know when to fight and when to fold and move on. The statement you made about being treated like a god bothers me. It smacks of some sort of self seeking god-complex image. Nurses of this type scare me because there's no limit to what they'll do in order to get a rush of getting the approval, the attention and acknowlegment from others, primarily, their superiors. Somebody had to say it. Ashes

Only you know what your initial intentions were for attending nursing school. If they were choices your purposely and gladly made, you may be experiencing alittle burnout. Maybe consider case management assignments. There are new and not so new HMO's popping up vying for state contracts to cover Medicaid HMO programs and they badly need nurses. It's a desk job, usually 9-5, no scrubs required, very little patient interaction. Private insurance companies and workman's comp also has similiar positions. If, however, you attended nursing school to proove a point to others or to fulfill other's expectations of what you should do with your life, you have one of two choices: either continue living out their expectations they have for you and stop complaining or cut your losses and move onto what you really want out of life. Don't mean to sound blunt and print has a way of sounding harsh but that's not how I mean to come across. There's a thread about "why I became a nurse". Read through it to renew your original committment and then decide for yourself what's best for you. Ashes

I totally agree with you. Once the handwriting is on the wall, read it, face it and be real with yourself. What's the point in trying to change one's opinion of you when they've already made up their mind about you. It'll be a never ending battle that will eventually end up with a nasty dismal. Get out before the battle begins. Believe me, there will be a battle and it will only get nastier and attempting to convince them of how valuable of a nurse you are is seen as weakness on their part. That's when they go in for the jugular. The fight is not worth the mental stress that you will endure, and you will endure it if you choose to stay. There is a inner circle mentality in some facilities and it can get viscious, especially if you've made it clear you have no intention of joining the "inner sanctum". They don't take being snubbed to highly. Very much like high school. I do feel there is a certain amount of politics with agency, less of it, but nonetheless, it's there. Agencies are vying for assignments and agency managers can get caught up in the high school inner circle mentality in attempts to get in good with a certain facility to be reassured repeat business. Ashes

I feel like we're all in the same room having this thread-conversation. I appreciate the feedback. Learned alot. Looking at myself, I guess I am a bit of perfectionist. Nothing wrong with it but it needs to be kept in perspective. Also, the organizational skills I used being at home don't may not be as effective when it comes to nursing skills. So there's alot I need to rethink and I thank you all. I had to laugh about the look CNAs give. I could ditto that. Ashes

Hello to All, I am a first time poster. To briefly introduce myself, I am 45 yrs young, mom of 4, homemaker and homeschooler for 13 years and became a nurse 2.5 years ago after putting my career goals on hold for many years. I am proud of being an LPN. I worked hard for this and still do alot of research on my own about various topics about nursing and medicine. While I have a goal to receive a master's degree in nursing, I'm not rushing. So often I hear LPNs almost apologize for just being an LPN and quickly follow up with "but I hurrying up to become an RN". While I can spread my wings more by becoming an RN, for now I'm LPN and proud. Here's my dilemna: I'm very good at what I do, get many compliments, I'm very thorough, very detailed and work well with doctors. Problem is no matter how quickly I move, I always seem to be behind the 8 ball at the end of my shift. I find it embarassing and insulting to the next nurse coming on to leave her/him with work left over from my shift. I usually stay over to get caught up and still never get it all done. How can I do my job at a faster pace and not compromise quality. What organization secrets can any of you share with me to pick up the pace and finish it all before my shift ends. Some nurses are patient, some not so patient. TIA, AshestoBeauty