Sonn

To shut up gossip hags it is helpful to know the 4 different types of gossip. 1. :smilecoffeecup: News sharing gossip: Function: Used to convey information, often about the work or private lives of co-workers or joint acquaintances. Used as a form of entertainment. Consequences: Positive: It is a form of entertainment. Helps to develop common interests and form common bonds. Promotes collegiality. Negative: None 2. Judgemental gossip: Function: Used to criticise the behaviours, beliefs, or value systems of co-workers or other joint acquaintances. Often used for social comparisons that favor the gossiper and are motivated by need of self-aggrandizement. May also be used for self-appraisal Consequences: Positive: Helps to reinforce the norms of the work setting. Punishes deviant behaviours. Helps in the socialisation of new members of the team. Negative: is painful and possibly harmful to the person being gossiped about 3. :angryfire Cathartic gossip: Function: Used to validate feelings. Used to relieve stress, anxiety or anger. Used infrequently to share positive emotions Consequences: Positive: Diffuses anger and thereby promotes more harmonious relationships. Provides a sense of support to the person who is feeling angry, anxious or stressed Negative: Disseminates and perpetuates bad feelings 4. :deadhorse Malicious Gossip: Function: Used deliberately to damage the personal or professional reputation of a colleague(s). This damage to colleague is often used for political gains, self-aggrandizement, or revenge, or to express hatred. Consequences: Positve: None. Negative: Is harmful, is destructive and painful to the target of the gossip. Creates divisiveness. Destroys loyalties (Blakeley, Ribeiro, Hughes)

Epona, what a nice thread. I wish you all the best in your nursing career. And I also want to say THANK YOU to all of the wonderful nurses on this site who have shared their experiences, humour, wise words and given great advise. Kind words and peer support can never be underestimated. Best wishes to you all for Xmas. Sonn

The tide is changing.. Have taken on a nursing supervisor, nurse in-charge, and another RN. Have also challenged the Director of Nursing on managing the issue. Currently winning the battle in style, without malice, by exposing others for just who they are. I have written a draft resource folder "Nurses Against Mobbing" if you want it send me a PM and I will send it to you.

The current situation: 1. I have had a meeting with the director of nursing (DON). The meeting was supportive and she was very empathetic. She didn't have much advice on what I should do, so therefore I told her what I thought best for me (which is the following) 2. A meeeting was arranged to I could talk to "Shirley"(not her real name) in the DONs office. Shirley sat there and looked myself and DON in the face and denied everything she has ever done to me. Additionally, she went on to accuse me of being a liar, sick, and then said I must of brought her here because I had a guilty conscious. The DON didn't seem to know how to handle it, and I felt really let down. I approached one of my colleagues and said this crap about me and the doc has to stop. and she pulled me aside and said I had to think about what I might of done to place myself in this situation! What? Having intense conversations intraoperatively....He says goodbye to me at the end of my shift (says goodbye to everyone else too! But that doesn't count). So this is now my fault, according to her. 3. The day after this meeting (last friday) I instigated a meeting and stood up and spoke to my team. As an artist a presented a canvas which had all my colleagues in the artwork. Everyone was linked together forming a building and the artwork was titled "we are a team building". I spoke about what "building" means, I spoke about what makes strong teams, I spoke passionately about the concepts of bullying and harrassment. It was emotional speach. Some of the audience cried so I must have reached a few with my ideals. 4. I have a confrontation with 2 employees from another ward next friday. Depending how I feel after that I am considering taking on managment because they has no real idea with how to deal with these types of issues. The limits of tryants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they opress (Frederick Douglass). There may be a time for me to leave..but I will follow through what I think is the right thing not just for myself but for others who have, are and may experience this harmful nursing culture. Thank you all so much for your support. Because this community is not offering me much.....yet...one can always hope the tide will change.

Just read the "rude" message again...yes it is a bit sharp, sorry to you all, and thanks for not totally flaming me.

oops wrong spelling....patience. Believe it or not generally I have a lot of patience.

sincere, sincere apologies to allantiques4me. I do have patients for my clients. And am a kind, honest person. I am sorry you percieve me as rude. I am dealing with a lot of stress. Please accept my apology.

this organisation is not dealing with this well. but i take inspiration from graceoz quote tamed women are safe. they don't challenge the prevailing order. but untamed women roar when injustice is done.they yell when they're stepped on. they get up and leave when things aren't right. and they bring change when change is needed. ..........karen alexander. the hardest thing is actually not leaving and challenging the whole system.

Oh...I forgot Ceridwyn......Thanking you too.

To Mulan: Thanks I am taking it further To Gwenith: You always give fabulous advise. I am documenting and approaching the issue of code of conduct. Thanks for caring and constructive help. To Penny4urthoughts: Love your Hermione quote LOL To Talaxandra and Augigi: Yes. Very unpleasant and I need courage as well as luck To Grace Oz: Thanks for your kind words and advise. I am a crusader without malice (I am not that kind of person) and truth and justice will revail in the long run. To Joannep: thanks for thinking of me, you have a good heart. _________________________________ I'll be okay from here. Thanks so much for caring and your empathy to my situation. You have no idea how much it has meant to me. It has been difficult. xxx

allantiques for me... I'm gobbsmacked by your lack of any consideration to my feelings by posting on this thread. But because you have only made 7 posts and maybe newer to this I will try not to take it personally. Your question is not in my area of expertise, however, you may wish to check out some of the education material available related to the sexuality of adolescents with developmental disabilities. Some of this material also includes considerations with sexual abuse. -------------------------------------- Lets consider this thread to now be null and void. I am totally over asking you people for help.

This is a very genuine cry for help.

I live in a rural town, only one Base Hospital. Details of situation are in another thread I posted in the Australian Nursing Forum

I am dealing with a case of mobbing. Has anyone experienced this, and can give practical advise? I am stressed and desperate to improve my situation. http://community.nursingspectrum.com/MagazineArticles/article.cfm?AID=6243 http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/mobbing.htm

Solicitors clerk Artist

The meeting was totally disasterous. Devastating. No other words for it. A work week from hell. Couldn't have got much worse.

Hey, Sandee. Just remember that it would be unprofessional on your part if you go around the hospital telling everyone what you suspect.

Thanks for supportive responses. Thursday I have a meeting to confront the person who gives me grief. Won't be easy because she will be difficult, mad and unremorseful. Friday a meeting has been called for me to talk to my colleagues. Next week a meeting will take place for me to confront 2 nurses from another department. Nervous.

The whole stress of this situation is now getting on top of me. I am keeping my head up high, but hate going out and haven't been to work for a week. Haven't eaten properly, have lost weight, and continually feel ill. Hopefully this week will be better and I will make some positive changes for myself. I just don't deserve this crap.

"Who gossips to you will gossip of you".:barf01:

Thanks for your time to respond. This week ...I am hoping to do a presentation for my work colleagues in OT. I will be speaking on team building and what hurts a team and what makes a team strong. I will share just a small part of the middle of my presentation: "In health care; we have a firm belief that prevention is always the best way to avoiding a potential problem: For example while working in the operating theatre and if we notice the sterile field has been broken, we have a duty to say something to prevent further contamination. In this case, failure to say nothing is negligent as it can result in a potential patient infection. In regards to building a strong team we also have a duty of care to our fellow employees to speak out and prevent criticism or gossip that could be harmful to a member of our team. Failure to speak up at these times results in fostering a culture of infectious harassment and disrespect. Conflicts and harassment do not usually just occur suddenly. Prolonged hurtful gossip poisons the work atmosphere to the detriment of not only to the person or persons directly involved but also, indirectly, to many other people, as well as our team". I am also going to putting workplace charges of harassment towards the collaegue I know who has been horrible to me. Additionally, I have thought about addressing some of the root causes os the problem. And history has shown that I am definately not the first person to have problems with the staff of the OT. I am putting a proposal forward to change the dynamics of the OT. The environment could be altered to get rid of an area predominantly used by 2 collauges ( 1 of who I have the complaint against) for clerical duties, This area is one of the root causes of gossip as it has a view of where all OT people are at anyone time. I am also planning to start a project next year that will help nurses to have fun, build self-esteem, and be positive. Happy people do not cause other people grief and misery. I am really looking forward to this project. Anyway, I am talking far too much, I am probably just talking to myself so I can remain clear headed and not be bitter and twisted to the gossip mongers who have hurt me. Cheers.

to be admitted for detox, your hallucinations are out of control. Tell me, what are you seeing right now?":roll :roll :roll :roll :roll :chair:

It would be really hurtful if gossip is being spread around that is not true. Additionally, if the affair is true, does gossiping about it affect your nursing culture in a negative way? How do you feel about this...see new thread "Changing harmful nursing culture"

I would like to share with you my difficulties with dealing with gossip in the workplace. I live and work in a rural hospital. The hospital has about 100 beds or so. Most of the nursing staff know each other or are can identify each other easily. I work in the OT. My roles include scrubbing, anaesthetics and recovery room. I also work casual shifts on the surgical ward, medical ward, ICU and ED. So I am fairly well known and have been with this hospital for about 8 years. I have some very close nursing friends and also have a wide network of friends outside the hospital, as my wonderful husband and I are involved with the arts. We have an artshop in the main street, curate and open visual art shows, and promote music concerts at the conservatorium of music. I am currently doing postgraduate studies in anaesthesia. I am the only nurse to do a certificate in this field for about 10 years. The anaesthesiologist of the hospital has been very excited that a nurse is interested in anaesthetics and therefore has been giving me a lot of journal articles to read, has helped organise clinical placements for me to get experience in city hospitals and always been generally encouraging and helpful. A gossipy, lonely person that I work with has been harassing me with comments that this doctor and I have an inappropriate relationship...implying that we are having an affair. For example, silly comments like "Oh, I know what you two are doing in the anaesthetic bay together!" (while we are putting in an epidural), This started about a year ago. Because the comments were half said jokingly and totally ludicris (this doctor is 30 years older than me, also married, has 5 grown up kids and grandchildren). So, I decided to just ignore the comments and think she would let up But she hasn't.. So now it has come to light that these comments have resulted in full scale gossip across the facility and even to some people in the community. No joke, the situation is way out of hand!! I am upset that the nursing culture of this hospital is attacking the integrity of my marriage, my professional studies, and potentially ruining a great friendship I have with this doctor. I have organised a meeting with the Director of Nursing on Monday to discuss the situation of poor nursing behaviour and attitudes in this hospital. I have a plan, and am on a mission to implement positive changes to improve the nursing culture of this hospital. I am trying to channel my anger wisely. Will keep you posted if you are interested.