personal statement/ essay

Sure, why not? Your opening kept my attention and I usually hate reading the "Why I want to be a nurse" essay. Openings in mosts posts are pretty redundant.

They usually share the same theme and sound more like "I always wanted to be a nurse ever since I was a child because blah blah blah event happened to me or some family member..." Or "I never thought about being a nurse until I was in the hospital or visiting someone in the hospital and blah blah blah event happened to me...."

I am not saying that those Essays do not get admitted or that they are not any good. I am just saying that I like the theme of your opening because it is different. Good luck. :wink2:

this is my rough draft- any suggestions??

i was astounded by the news i had heard. i had worked for a telemarketing company for 9 years and was planning to stay with them until i retired. now the chairman of the company had informed the department heads that the business was shutting down. i felt disconcerted. not only did i have to inform my employees that they would soon be out of a job, i also had to prepare for my own loss of employment. i didn’t realize it at the time, but this was a true blessing in disguise.

shortly before being informed of my pending job loss, we had placed my grandmother in a long term care facility. i was spending considerable time there and was attending various activities with her. i really enjoyed the residents and the caring atmosphere. therefore, i decided to talk with the administrator about the requirements of an activities assistant position. he informed me that the first step was to get enrolled in a certified nursing assistant program. he said that after obtaining my certified nursing assistant license, i could work as a nursing assistant until such time that an activities position became available.

consequently, i decided to take the certified nursing assistant course in preparation of a position in the activities department at the long term care facility. i accepted a position of a nursing assistant and began my employment there midway through my nursing assistant class. i found that i really enjoyed working as a certified nursing assistant. i appreciated the opportunity it provided me with for one on one involvement with the residents. i soon realized that even though this wasn’t my original plan, working in the nursing field was ideal for me. nine years later, i am still working as a certified nursing assistant for the same long term care facility. the residents there are like family to me and i have wonderful relationships with them. i never knew what a positive impact the residents could have on my life

by nature, i am a sincere, dedicated, caring, individual who has a great deal of ambition. i love to learn, and am always up to a challenge. i prefer to be in a setting where i can interact with others, although i can efficiently work on my own as well. i have the ability to effectively communicate with people. i understand that each individual is unique. through my employment at the long term care facility, i have learned to adapt my approach to meet the needs of the individual i am interacting with.

i have also thought the challenges i might need to overcome as a licensed nurse. i think the biggest obstacle would be delegating responsibilities for the residents. i tend to prefer to do things myself, so that i know that they are done to the best of my ability. i am confident that this is something i can use to my advantage. as a licensed nurse, there are many different ways that i could share my passion to provide the best possible care for the residents.

after much consideration and research, i am determined to continue my education in the field of nursing. i have spoken at length with nurses at the facility where i am employed and i have observed the charge nurses with their responsibilities. i have an accurate idea of what nursing involves and i know that i would be extremely proficient as a licensed nurse.

my experience with the nursing assistant program offered through ---college was wonderful. ----was a very compassionate, knowledgeable instructor. i have also talked with nurses who have completed the vocational program through --- college. i am convinced that this nursing program is the right one for me.