Mistake!

I've been working on a postpartum/newborn nursery unit for 7 months now. MOST of the time I'm feeling pretty good about how I'm doing, but of course I do make mistakes from time to time. Usually just stupid things like forgetting to sign something on the chart. Yesterday, however, was one of the bigger ones I've made. I called a doctor with lab results on a baby and received an order to stop phototherapy - or so I thought. I heard later that the doctor denied giving that order. I can only assume the dr. said CONTINUE photo and I heard DIS-continue. What I'm afraid of is that I must not have read back the order like we're supposed to. The baby had to go back under the lights and the mom was upset that she had to be discharged and leave the baby. The worst part is that when I got the lab results I wasn't expecting the phototherapy to be stopped, and I told the mom that too. So I don't know why I heard it wrong.

Anyway - it's just hard to go back to work today after making that mistake and even having to see that baby or the mom, or the doctor . . . and I don't know whether I've been written up for it or not. The nurse who told me about it (my former preceptor) was very nice about it, told me not to worry, etc. but I can't help but worry & be upset. And I know I won't feel better until that baby is discharged. I know making mistakes can be the best way to learn but I HATE it, sometimes I wish I were at a desk job where mistakes didn't matter so much.

Well, mostly venting & thanks for reading.