Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

Published

Specializes in Renal, Haemo and Peritoneal.

Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Specializes in Home care, assisted living.

Oh my gosh. These sound like they belong in the Man's Guide to Becoming a Neanderthal or something. :p

.....it is funny in a warped sense of the word.

Seriously..I laughed. My Neaderthal of a father in law would love it! He still sits at the table and waits to be served!!!!!!

I'd let him starve before I "serves the master".

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Had a hard day at work today. Thanks for the uplift. Very hilarious.:rotfl:

Specializes in ICU/CCU/CVICU/ED/HS.

You forgot one, Farkinott...Why does a bride wear white?

So she will match the rest of the kitchen appliances.

Specializes in Med/Surg.

Thanks for the laugh! Now after a long night at work I will go to bed with a smile!

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