Lost

Published Mar 29, 2018

12 Posts

Specializes in n/a.

Nolagirl504 here!

greetings fellow nurses and nurses to be.

sigh! Anyone out there feel like no matter where they work, they don't fit in? I tend to keep to myself. I am polite and helpful and always speak to everyone but on a professional level. Personally there are very few people that I deal with at work. There's a lot of politics and back stabbing and favoritism on the unit. Nothing new! They're are even some staff that have been known to take pics of others and send it to management as proof. Now this is something new! I feel like I can't trust my coworkers. That's why I learned early to not get involved! I do my best to keep out of trouble...seems like I'm in trouble a lot anyways. We are micro managed very closely. I've gotten in trouble for things like not documenting a BM (this only happened once in 8 months) and for not documenting a CHG bath (which happened a few times because management couldn't decide if it should be documented before or after midnight. So I just started doing it before and after midnight). I've gotten in trouble for much worse offenses like a pt fall (saw the pt, asked if she needed to use restroom, walked out of room, forgot to check bed alarm, started walking back to room and pt called using the calllight I gave her to tell me she fell. (Sigh), a pt DNR status (pt wanted to be dnr, told MD and dayshift 3 nights straight and no one changed the code status and pt coded and was resuscitated. I was told by my charge that nurses could not place dnr status which is why I kept notifying the MD and the day nurse. I still got in trouble because I was part of the treatment team). Once because a pt was supposed to be in care of her own insulin pump and she ended up going into dka, even though she signed a form stating she would be in charge of it...I got in trouble because I was part of the treatment team. Pt felt like she should not have to pay her icu bill and blamed me for going into dka. I'm getting to the point where for me nursing has become emotionally, physically and psychologically damaging. I'm stressed out constantly and I'm paranoid that I'll make a mistake and that I'll be in trouble. I'm always checking, double checking myself....and then I go back trying to make sure I double checked myself. I'm having trouble eating and sleeping. I'm looking for another job at this point. I've been accepted into my masters program that starts in August this year. I don't know how I'm going to manage being a grad student and making a living too. This also is a source of anxiety. I've had a interview at the end of last week and waiting to hear back from them. It feels like every where I go I have some serious issues! I know everywhere is always going to be something. I just want to be somewhere that I can do my job and depend on my coworkers just like they know they can depend on me. I know for a fact I'm being watched. I put something in my care plan notes and then a week later I got a text from one of the people I can trust that something came back on one of the day shift RNs. I know it was from my notes. FYI...the notation stated that I completed an over due order for a MRSA collection. It had been there for days. Sitting. But it wasn't until I wrote that I had completed it that something was said about it. My manager once called me at home to tell me I was a "sloppy nurse" broke my heart. I've never been spoken to that way. I've never been called sloppy or a bad nurse or a lazy nurse. At least twice a month I get an email from a nurse or tech or pt or family member thanking me for all i do. I always try to make sure to help out my team. Whether it's a nurse, tech, charge, doctor or the cleaning staff. I don't know what I can do to get this target off my back. Maybe nothing. Maybe it's just time to move on to another job....but I've been thinking maybe it's time to leave nursing all together. Graduation is two whole years away...what do I do in the meantime? Sigh. Any thoughts?

thanks!