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Discussion

Lost my cool

Ok I'm in an Lpn-Rn program. We are in our second semester and the first semester was rough to say the least. Most of our class communicate with each other through a Facebook page we created.We started our new clinical group last week and one of the girls approached me because I happened to mention that I used to work with her family member. Apparently this family member told her that I was " really smart and shouldn't have problems in the program". Not true, we all struggled as I'm sure most do in nursing school. Anyway she mentioned this and in a very insistent way begged me to study with her face to face, because no one else was interested. I told her most of us work and have kids and are busy and that's kind of what our Facebook page is for but she didn't let up about it. So over the next few days she texted through phone and messaged me over Facebook. I told her I would stay over 30 minutes after clinicals and study and she was fine with that but ,the last straw was one morning while I was with my kids at the dentist she texted and when I didn't immediately answer she started calling with a follow up text saying " are you there?"I was so angry I told her that bugging the **** out of me was unacceptable. Now I'm done. She apologized but frankly I don't know her well and don't need to put up with it but I do have a bad habit of caving because of guilt. Just wondering if anyone has ever experienced this.

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    • Featured Replies

    I think you should decrease your time with her because this is just the beginning (signs).... she is basically using you to get what she needs, she need to understand your family is first. Too much drama already

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    People like that definitely exist, but reading op's opening post, I get the feeling that maybe she wasn't very stern or direct in her response, and possibly gave mixed signals. I have no problem telling people no - whether directly or indirectly - and people seem to understand that 100% when I tell them.

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    I would stay away from this girl, she seems to be very pushy and demanding. The best is to redefine the boundaries you want followed in your communication. Avoid feeling guilty as it might encourage her to continue manipulating you.

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    • Experts
    I told her I would stay over 30 minutes after clinicals and study and she was fine with that...
    If my personal life was as busy as yours, I would not have offered my personal time to help this classmate study.

    Some people are so socially inept that they do not grasp the concept of personal boundaries unless, unfortunately, you start being mean to them.

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    I would offer 15-20 minutes free then my rates start at $25/hr. Negotiable. People bought my kid lunch and had their teens entertain him (8 at the time) in the library. Others paid cash. I pointed them in the direction so they wouldn't need me and helped them figure out what worked for them.

    Next time try this "No. I can't" "I'm sorry I'm not available". "I'm sorry my rate is $65/hr for 1:1 tutoring (the going rate for a qualified 1:1 tutor. Who knew?)"

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    She wants you to hold her hand and walk her through it. Let her figure it out on her own. I don't mind at all to help classmates but if they have a consistent pattern of not figuring it out themselves, I stop. I also do not help others to my detriment. Teaching others is one of my learning styles though so most of the time, it helps me as well. I study best alone, most of my classmates do too (we also have a FB page) and most have has kids/spouses /jobs. I don't want another kid at school!

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