It was nice be able to help, even a little

At my job in LTC, I was asked to see Mrs. Jones, not her real name. She is an 80-ish y/o female, sharing a room with her husband, and "getting a little aggressive".

Upon my arrival, her husband was out in the hallway, naked from the waist down. He seemed disoriented. I entered the room to find a fairly pleasant elderly woman and a middle aged man. "Are you their son?" The answer was affirmative.

I learned from the nursing staff that she had attacked her husband last night. She did not remember anything.

I conversed with her, attempting to get a history. It was clear she remembers the 1960's very well, but most other things were very foggy. Meanwhile her husband did not answer to his name, and seemed very confused.

I asked the son if he would speak with me privately, and he provided an extensive history, very valuable, which otherwise would not have been available. He was at his wit's end, totally unprepared to deal with the decisions in front of him.

I was able to listen to his frustrations, and answer some of his questions.

As is common in these types of situations, no advanced directives of any kind had been prepared. The son seemed to feel this was all very sudden. His father was managing his own finances a few months ago. There was a house packed with 60 years of stuff to be cleaned out.

It felt good to be able to listen, and provide some realistic feedback and reassurance.