It was all so hard to...

So sorry about your grandmother passing, a friend of mine lost her husband during the final weeks of her last semester of nursing school, sometimes life throws us some rather rough patches. Your grandmother I am sure is proud of your accomplishments and preserving during this difficult time. Take the time that you have now before you start your nursing program to grieve and to heal.

You are right- your Grandma would want you to succeed. My grandfather died during the middle of my first semester of my junior year of college (nursing school). It was my first semester of clinicals. I had a test scheduled for the day of his funeral, which I had to make up as soon as I went back. My grandfather worked his whole life at blue collar jobs- he never had the opportunity for higher education because he had to enter the military straight out of high school/during WWII. I was his first grandchild and, at the time, the only one in college. He lived a good life and I knew he was proud of the person I was so I did what I knew he would have wanted me to do- I dried my eyes, went back to school, took my test and went on.

One of my mother's cousins gave us this poem and it helped me, because I knew that my Nono would want us to be happy remembering him:

I’d like the memory of me

to be a happy one,

I’d like to leave an afterglow

of smiles when life is done.

I’d like to leave an echo

whispering softly down the ways,

of happy times and laughing times

and bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve,

to dry before the sun of happy memories

that I leave behind when day is done

Yes, it is very hard. I found out 3 weeks before Thanksgiving that cancer cells was found in the fluid in my Mothers Lungs. I did research that lead me to believe it was Stage 4. The day before Thanksgiving she was given 2 weeks, to if she is luck, 2 months to live. From the moment I realized it was stage 4, I started grieving, I knew. She told me she didn't want this to effect my studys and not to come until the term was over. I was worried I wouldn't make it, so I started working ahead, etc. I was almost ready to go, when she found out she had 2 weeks. All I had left was a few projects and finals. I wrapped up it all, except 1 that I could do online. And got to spend her final week with her. AS her doctor said, 2 weeks to the day.

She was so proud that I went back to school late in life. She also didn't want no sad faces. It's hard to be smiling, when your Mother is dying. But for my Mother, I would do anything.

Yes, your Grandmother would be very proud of you and would not want to be the cause of your failing. They want us to succeed. That is all anyone of us wants for our children and grandchildren.

{{{ HUGS }}}

That was a refreshing post. On AN I have noticed so many excuses on why people get bad grades. It is good to see you used the challenge as a chance to shine and do even better. I went through horrible times getting my BSN, but never once did I blame my circumstances when I didn't do my best. Everyone has challenges and it is how we perceive and take action from those challenges that allows us to either become stronger or weaker. Great job and good luck in nursing school.