instant messaging

nowplayingEDRN · Jan 9, 2004

My kids use either yahoo or AIM (aol). AOL has parental controls, and I thought was pretty user friendly. Yahoo has a box you can check to keep the profile out of the public listings. I understand your reluctancy to allow this as I felt and still feel the same way but.....depending on how old the DD is, you have to take that next step on faith and a prayer and just monitor it. I believe that they all have an archive that you can activate and that way you can track whom she is messaging with. Good luck.

Christie

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Jan 9, 2004

One of my dd is a pro at the messaging,, she has AOL(which i hate their new version) and we also use Yahoo(which doenst always work right either). The other dd doesnt really care a bit. They are not allowed to use the open chat rooms. You as a parent have to make sure the puter is in an area where you can monitor who she is talking to, and what she is doing. I log onto my daughters screen name occasionally, read the kids profiles(that says a lot about who your dd is talking to). Noone in my house has a screen name that i dont have the password to period. I respect their privacy, but they also know i will walk up behind them at any time and watch the screen as they chat with their school friends. Yes i will scroll back and see previous strings of type, and max screens that may be minimized also. The puter is in the family room so there is no hiding in the bedroom with the IM's going. Puters that may be in bedrooms are not online.

Did you know AOL has a website where you can access the messaging without downloading the program. That worked for us for quite a while.

Most of the kids will exchange lists with each other, so most of those on are friends from school.

allnurses Guide · Jan 9, 2004

Be careful, be careful, be careful.

I stopped my daughter's access to instant messaging after reading some of the stuff the kids were chatting about. It seemed to increase the usual backstabbing behavior of junior high girls. We had one boy who actually told my 13 year old daughter that she made him so horny that he had a huge . .well, you fill in the blank. My husband confronted him in front of my daughter and her friends "That's my little girl and you will not talk to her that way or I'll kick your" . . . . .well, you get the picture again.

Make sure you have a filter on your computer. Make sure you have a way to monitor it.

Did you know young teenage girls have web cams in their rooms and do strip teases? Or they send suggestive photos of themselves to boys?

Sometimes I feel like we have a conduit to filthy garbage sitting right in the middle of our home. It is frustrating because there is so much good too.

Just be really really careful.

steph

nowplayingEDRN · Jan 9, 2004

meow and Steph.....

You are both so right. Yahoo does not always work right and AOL...well.....that is just another whole ball of wax. The temporary internet cache file is a good way to see where kids have been and what they are doing.

And Steph, we had to squelch our DD a few years ago when we found that she was talking to someone several years older than her. It turned into quite a fiasco because his intentions were not of an honorable nature. It is so frightening to have what you refered to as a "conduit to filthy garbage" sitting in the house. A channel for predators of all ages to prey on the too trusting and unsuspecting. I thank God daily that we were vigilant parents and noticed when something was amiss with answers to our questions and strange info on profiles.

Vigilance is the only way. And being open, like meow is.