I'm having panic attacks over a retake

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It's been almost 2 years since i took and did not pass the NCLEX-RN. They got me on a bunch of medication questions on uncommon meds and so I've had anxiety about the test ever since. Its hard hearing updates on my fellow classmates passing and how great their lives have been while I've been struggling paycheck to paycheck and other problems in my life.

The economy has destroyed my life basically and I haven't been able to get enough money to retake the boards. While looking for a place to live with fear of being homeless I found someone willing to help me out and pay the $200 for me to retake the test and I used Christmas money from relatives to pay the state fee. I'm enrolled in Virtual ATI because I was using them when I failed the first time and their policy is apparently they'll help you until you pass.

My retake date is end of Feb and I've been studying every day for the test. My problem is it creates so much anxiety to me that I literally have panic attacks and literally can't move and start to cry. Obviously the smart thing would be to see someone but I have no money and I'm uninsured. I'm just literally scared of failing again because I have no job, nobody will hire me because I'm overqualified or have no experience, etc. I know this is hindering my studying but I'm afraid that I'm not doing the right thing. My ATI coach says I'm doing great so far but I don't feel like I am. Just need advice, words of wisdom, something...

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You need to get yourself together. Your survival depends upon it. If this is how you are reacting to a test, then what do you think is going to happen to you on the job? You are going to put yourself into the hospital and have medical bills to add to your worries if you don't get your anxiety managed. Spend some time between now and the test to put some hard practice in on relaxation techniques. And tell yourself, that you can only worry about one problem at a time. Right now your problem to worry about is the NCLEX. Make a study schedule. Block out two, and only two, ten minute blocks of time during the day to WORRY and only WORRY about the NCLEX. Once you have taken the test, find your next worry and do the same. Your next worry will probably be the results. You can do this, but not if you don't get control of yourself.

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I can totally relate. Many others have the same thing but won't admit it. So, how have you done since the last time?

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