I could really use some help with night shift vs day shift! Birthing Center
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As I've mentioned here before, I was hired on as a new grad for nights on our hospital's birthing center in August after graduating in May. I began orientation on days and just switched over to nights this week. I'm "older" - 44 - had been a stay-home mom for a long time and finally followed my dream of being an L&D nurse. The first few weeks of orientation (mother-baby) were rough simply because I had never worked as a nurse before and WOW - there is so much work; so much to do, so much to know, to remember, etc (as you all know). But gradually I have begun to "get it" and it's getting easier and less stressful. It's still really hard at times though and I get a feeling of dread occasionally before I go in (that seems to be somewhat common in nursing), and truthfully there are times when I say to myself "I just can't do this", but it's all finally starting to come together for the most part.
I tend to be really good at teaching breastfeeding - something most of my coworkers HATE to do, so along with everything else mother-baby entails, I have begun to find my niche with breastfeeding.
Well, let me just say that after the first few night shifts, I am ready to throw in the towel. I can feel the dream slipping away. I can not imagine having this schedule for one more WEEK, much less indefinitely. I am not sleeping well, I am exhausted, I feel awful. I've done everything the experts suggest including the dark room, earplugs, noise machine, unplug the phones, etc etc and I still can only sleep for about 2-4 hours total during the day. It is not even close to enough.
I worked Saturday, Monday and I was supposed to work tonight, but after Saturday's night shift I have had a total of 10 hours of sleep in 3 days' time. When I got home from work this morning I did my bed routine and slept from 8:30 to 11:00am. Then I was wide awake. I had a mini-emotional breakdown because the thought of going back for another 12-hour shift tonight on so little sleep was too much for me to handle. I called our CDC and told her what was happening and she basically said "don't know what to tell ya sorry". I called the charge and told her what was going on and she told me not to worry about it and to just not come in. But the problem is, I don't think staying home from one shift is going to make a huge difference. I think it will only prolong the inevitable. I'm feeling very unsure of this whole situation. I'm really questioning my decision to work there and especially to work night shift. They have no openings on days and the truth is, I don't want to work days. It's too hard on my family.
I feel desperate and at the end of my rope. I don't know if I can do this to myself anymore (and it's only been a week on nights! ugh!). I'm wondering if I should look into something other than a hospital setting. I would much rather work part-time but I have so little experience in nursing that it's tough to find a p/t nursing job that requires no experience. Sorry this was so long... just needing some real support and advice.