I lost everything

I feel your pain. I was making 55,000 a year (not 100,000, but here in Oklahoma it's good money)

I now make 21,000 a year. Even stripped to bare essentials, my bills are more than my income. None of them can be late (my car is from a place that repos if a day late, I can't afford late fee if daycare and rent are a day late, plus food, gas, electric, and cost of drug testing, nurse support groups, etc.)

I know it is my own fault. but you just need to vent sometimes. It was humbling going from always having money to do anything I wanted to not even being able to drive 3 miles away to visit my mom because i need to conserve every last drop of gas.

I have 8 months left in program and pray not to be homeless (AGAIN) before I get out. Then I hope to find a much better paying job ASAP.

I have been there and done that. It's so hard. I recognize though that the person who refused to let me work impaired on February 11, 2005 did me and many many of my "would be" patients...and my children and family...any anyone I might have killed while driving under the influence a HUGE favor. This happened in NC but I moved to CA where I also was licensed and went through their Diversion program. Pure Hell...a circus.

I used the time off and the good will of the many government agencies willing to foot the bill in return for a promise to teach after I am done, to get my Masters. Life gave me lemons...I sucked on those and ruined that life...then I made lemonade! You can too.

My husband and I have both lost jobs like that. Mine in nursing, his in engineering. To be honest, for the first few years, we both were having a pity party. But as time passed with sobriety, we realized that God was teaching us a lesson. We couldn't be trusted with that much money. We were a mess. God had to humble us both to get us to see the truth.

Today we both work in healthcare (he a drug/alcohol counselor) and we live a very simple life. We live totally within our own means. That was something neither of us had done before, ever. We learned that we don't have to "keep up with the Jones' ". What is truly important is family and love. We have learned to live frugally. I'm here to say, we couldn't be happier! We look back and have no idea who those people were that was us. We have truly been given a gift from God. God has taken care of us too. As long as we are doing the next right thing, no matter what that may be and we love each other, God has taken care of us. We were recently blessed with a brand new apartment. We sometimes can't believe how blessed we have been. Not blessed with "things" but blessed with love, sobriety and life. It's amazing!

Don't dwell in what you DON'T have. Concentrate on what you need to do for the present. Don't worry about what you have to do tomorrow, do what you need to do right now, today. Keep moving forward. It will all fall into place.

You might not get another job with that kind of money or it might be a while. Kids adapt, ours did. Remember, it's just stuff. What you have to do right now is concentrate on YOU and healing.

I promise you it gets better. in fact, I promise you all the joy, happiness and love in the world if you work the steps! they really do work. A new you is in there waiting for a chance to dance.

I too feel all of your pain, and perhaps even more if possible. I was dismissed into the BON program in March of 2009. At that time my partner and I had a 9 Month old daughter, she is now 2.5 yrs old. I was making 100,000+ as well. My partner and I were used to doing and buying whatever we wanted, and I spoiled her with all kinds of gifts very frequently. My bad for being generous. I have not been able to find a job and have been on unemployment for the last year. I keep trying to find employment. The upside is I have been able to be home with our daughter. The downside is of course the money angle. I am trying to keep our home out of foreclosure thru my atty. It may happen if I can get some type of work soon. But, seems like my partner has been sneaking around cheating and also applying to find a mortgage of her own without telling me. All while I raise our daughter so she can run around after work and do as she pleases. I dont think I can make it without my little girl being with me. I did not legally adopt her, I started the process but it was so expensive! We never would have had my daughter were it not for my job at the time and my insurance coverage which covered most of the costs. This is consuming all of my being. I dont know what to do. All I think of is the day she walks out the door with my little girl.........how can my pain get any worse......but I know it will, minute by minute it does.

My husband and I have both lost jobs like that. Mine in nursing, his in engineering. To be honest, for the first few years, we both were having a pity party. But as time passed with sobriety, we realized that God was teaching us a lesson. We couldn't be trusted with that much money. We were a mess. God had to humble us both to get us to see the truth.

Today we both work in healthcare (he a drug/alcohol counselor) and we live a very simple life. We live totally within our own means. That was something neither of us had done before, ever. We learned that we don't have to "keep up with the Jones' ". What is truly important is family and love. We have learned to live frugally. I'm here to say, we couldn't be happier! We look back and have no idea who those people were that was us. We have truly been given a gift from God. God has taken care of us too. As long as we are doing the next right thing, no matter what that may be and we love each other, God has taken care of us. We were recently blessed with a brand new apartment. We sometimes can't believe how blessed we have been. Not blessed with "things" but blessed with love, sobriety and life. It's amazing!

Don't dwell in what you DON'T have. Concentrate on what you need to do for the present. Don't worry about what you have to do tomorrow, do what you need to do right now, today. Keep moving forward. It will all fall into place.

You might not get another job with that kind of money or it might be a while. Kids adapt, ours did. Remember, it's just stuff. What you have to do right now is concentrate on YOU and healing.

I promise you it gets better. in fact, I promise you all the joy, happiness and love in the world if you work the steps! they really do work. A new you is in there waiting for a chance to dance.

Hi Southernbee!

I was wondering how your husband obtained credentials to be an addiction counselor? I am interested in doing this type of work and can't seem to find much info on getting certified;..

Thanks!

This hits home,I totally agree ... I believe the same thing happened to me and my husband, I lost a very good, high rate of pay from a job.... all the OT I wanted... and I believe God took it from me-- we didn't deserve it, did nothing right with it.. I was making so much that I let my husband be a stay at home dad!!! We didn't save, didn't pay down any debt, but , we sure dressed and looked fabulous!! Drove awesome cars!! My son wanted for nothing !!!

We didn't deserve it, and it was taken ... I totally relate...