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Discussion

I am confused...

So, I got fired from the family I worked for past 3 years. The reason is I became too attached to the little girl, she adopted. Before she was in foster care. However, the truth is I was looking for new job for the past month and have been sick, my daughter too and called off more frequently. BTW, mom hates when I called off. So, I don't know how this made me too attached to her, I wanted to leave because I was underpaid, unchallenged doing "babysitting." Mom thought that I am different since adoption and not loving towards her daughter, nursing wise she had no complains, just she felt I am withdrawing from her. And I told her, I am looking for new job part-time, I have my family and I am not her mother, I am a nurse and I only take care of her.

Three days later, she called our DON and told her that she doesn't want me to work for her because I told her I feel like I am her mother-the girl's mother I take care of.

But the truth is she twisted the words. She knew I will quit soon, so she fired me to get even. I have meeting with DON next week. I don't know what to say because I feel anything I say will be used against me. In addition, DON is on mom's side. I just feel, I was stabbed in the back for all the work I did for her.

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    Yep...I have had that knife in my back. Stabbed harder in fact. The truth is you can't understand why people do what they do. Crazy people, or hurt people will lash out in bizarre awful ways. Get your story on record with the agency. Then move on. Based on what you posted you didn't violate any company policy, so really it sounds like your having a meeting and a counseling session only, no diciplinary action required. This is just a hazard of the business every case will go sideways on you eventually, it's just a matter of how long.

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    Typical experience working pdn. If you do this job, it's a matter of when it will happen. Not if it will happen. Sorry. That sucks! The agency will always side with the family. It's easier to get nurses than it is to get a case.

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    Well there are boundaries to maintain. The best way to deal with families is to talk only about non-complex and non-personal things "Wow, this weather is crazy lately. We've had so much rain." or "your christmas lights look lovely."

    Always be kind and polite, always agree in non-definite ways "I can see why you'd say that, yes."

    NEVER tell them you're looking for another job or case.

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    I left private duty nursing. I had a good case with good parents. However, I always knew that I could be "dumped by the family" at any time and I did worry about that happening sometimes when things were not going well. The mother had "too many rules". I was even instructed by the mother as to what "Toys were OK for him and toys he wasn't to play with. All of these toys were in the same toy box.

    I got so tired of being told what to do and how to do it. LTC is hell. But I do get to actually "make a decision for myself" once in awhile.

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