Having second thoughts about NS - Please talk to off the ledge!

i went through a basic adn program where the instructors were a dream and then went back for my bsn years later when i was a very seasoned rn where the professors were a nightmare and we students discussed among us how horrible these profs were and often thought of just dropping out all the time. we constantly told ourselves to keep going. . .it's only 2 years out of our entire life and then it will be over and we will never see these profs again. we also said nasty stuff like we were being trained to be bsns, which stood for ****** ****** nurses. the camaraderie helped us get through the rough spots.

all of the talking and carrying on by the first instructor that you speak of sounds a lot like she uses you students as her therapy to get her frustrations and anger off her chest. she must have had one harrowing nursing career. when people holding themselves in a superior position to others (all but 1 nurse she ever met is incompetent, yells at us - call us stupid) sounds like low self-esteem and a lot of projection of her own incompetencies by dwelling on the inabilities of others. that is pretty much what bullies do. when you are in a vulnerable position where a bully is in authority there isn't much you can do except bend to their will. as long as she is following the rules and being fair about your grades, tolerating the behavior helps when understanding what is behind all the venom. most of it is self-serving to help her boost her own self-esteem. knowing that, when she starts a tirade you can just ignore it. do what we did. . .think about how much time you have left before you will never have to see her again.

as for the not teach at all comment that you made i do have some thoughts on this. i have been to school many times both community college and universities. i have had some humdinger instructors. if there is one thing i have learned it is that college level learning is primarily independent anyway. instructors are facilitators. a teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. in nursing, particularly my basic nursing program, we did not have formal lectures. we were given lists of objectives and told to go find the information on our own. if we had difficulty finding it we were to go to our faculty adviser and tell them. what did they do? give us suggestions of places in textbooks or nursing journals where we could find that information. they never gave us a direct answer. all the instructors were on the same page with this and it was for a very good reason. to promote our independence and so we would learn how to teach ourselves. i am so glad to have learned this. when i got out on the job as an rn there were many times that i had questions and had to find information. i had no problem digging in and knowing where to start searching. i have to tell you that over the years i have worked with colleagues who had no clue how to be independent. if there wasn't someone there to hold them by the hand and show them exactly how to do something new they were, quite literally, lost--couldn't think for themselves. as rns we can't afford to get lost. we have to be able to think on our feet, find answers and make judgments from minute to minute. that is what the job entails. ask this bully of an instructor and she will confirm this. and, from my own experiences and what i know about teaching, you will learn and recall much more efficiently when you find things on your own--not when you hear them in a lecture. you will also cement the learning into your brain when you discover something on your own and then ask questions about it in order to clarify or fine tune that information. that is a good way to use an instructor--question them to death about what you are discovering on your own. the bully, in particular, might be astounded that someone actually cares about the subject.

i've been talking to her [another instructor] personally about what's been going on and how i'm thinking about leaving nursing for good, and she's advising me against it and trying to help me out.

it seems like many nurses i know also hate their job, are miserable and depressed, have no time for family/holidays, etc. that also makes me have second thoughts.

your word for today is perseverance. one of the things i also did as a student was print out clipart or cartoons and some inspirational saying to go underneath them. i plastered these on my notebooks. they are something to look at and remind yourself of why you are in nursing school. here's some for you about perseverance:

• the road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  
• when the world says, "give up," hope whispers, "try it one more time."
  
• he conquers who endures. (persius)
  
• the race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
  
• if we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
  
• i may not be there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday.
  
• success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
  

and, something i saw seemed to sum up what is going on for you right now.