First time crying during orientation...

I just feel like I need to vent a little.. I am a new grad who graduated in May and have been orienting on a geriatric medical floor for about 6 weeks now. Up until now, I felt like I was doing well and progressing at the right rate. I work rotating shifts, so for the past 3 weeks I have been working nights with the full patient load (6). Today was my first day shift with the full patient load (5). To start things off, I had a hard time switching from nights to days and only slept for 2 hours last night. I work both 8 and 12 hour shifts, and today was an 8 hour shift.

Although I am still on orientation, my preceptor now lets me do everything and I just go to her if I have any questions. The day started off with my confused elderly patient falling onto the floor. It was my fault because I assumed the night shift nurse had his bed alarm on, but I was wrong and I feel terrible (although he ended up not being injured, thankfully). I had another confused patient who cussed at me, called me vulgar names, and told me to get out of her face every time I walked into the room. She also refused to take any medications from me (after I crushed them all up), but was perfectly pleasant when other people talked to her. She just didn't like me for some reason. I'm not upset that she didn't like me because I was polite to her and stayed calm, but it just made it difficult to accomplish anything with her. My other 3 patients also had time consuming things that I needed to accomplish with them and I didn't get all of my morning meds passed until noon. I also missed a new order for a patient and the doctor called and asked why I hadn't given it yet. Then family members called asking questions that I didn't know the answers to because I hadn't had time to really look at their charts yet. Anyway, I stayed 2 hours after my shift ended just trying to catch up on things and my preceptor had to jump in and help because one of my patients was being transferred and I didn't prioritize my time well enough to get everything ready for him to leave.

I know that all of these things seem like no big deal to the experienced nurse, but I am just realizing that I am not ready to be off orientation yet. Today, my manager said that she is going to extend my orientation (I was supposed to be on my own after this week) and I am really thankful for that, but at the same time I feel embarrassed that I am not at the point where I should be in orientation. I just never felt like I had a grasp on things and didn't feel that I was giving my patients the care they deserve because I was struggling to get things done in a timely manner. I am also having issues with prioritization. I understand that nurses have to stay late all the time to chart, but I just felt like I never had a handle on things. I felt so stressed that I ended up crying my whole drive home. I've heard that it gets better after a year or so of being a nurse, but I just feel discouraged.

Thanks for listening to me whine!