First time crying during orientation...

[MSNrunner]

I just feel like I need to vent a little.. I am a new grad who graduated in May and have been orienting on a geriatric medical floor for about 6 weeks now. Up until now, I felt like I was doing well and progressing at the right rate. I work rotating shifts, so for the past 3 weeks I have been working nights with the full patient load (6). Today was my first day shift with the full patient load (5). To start things off, I had a hard time switching from nights to days and only slept for 2 hours last night. I work both 8 and 12 hour shifts, and today was an 8 hour shift.

Although I am still on orientation, my preceptor now lets me do everything and I just go to her if I have any questions. The day started off with my confused elderly patient falling onto the floor. It was my fault because I assumed the night shift nurse had his bed alarm on, but I was wrong and I feel terrible (although he ended up not being injured, thankfully). I had another confused patient who cussed at me, called me vulgar names, and told me to get out of her face every time I walked into the room. She also refused to take any medications from me (after I crushed them all up), but was perfectly pleasant when other people talked to her. She just didn't like me for some reason. I'm not upset that she didn't like me because I was polite to her and stayed calm, but it just made it difficult to accomplish anything with her. My other 3 patients also had time consuming things that I needed to accomplish with them and I didn't get all of my morning meds passed until noon. I also missed a new order for a patient and the doctor called and asked why I hadn't given it yet. Then family members called asking questions that I didn't know the answers to because I hadn't had time to really look at their charts yet. Anyway, I stayed 2 hours after my shift ended just trying to catch up on things and my preceptor had to jump in and help because one of my patients was being transferred and I didn't prioritize my time well enough to get everything ready for him to leave.

I know that all of these things seem like no big deal to the experienced nurse, but I am just realizing that I am not ready to be off orientation yet. Today, my manager said that she is going to extend my orientation (I was supposed to be on my own after this week) and I am really thankful for that, but at the same time I feel embarrassed that I am not at the point where I should be in orientation. I just never felt like I had a grasp on things and didn't feel that I was giving my patients the care they deserve because I was struggling to get things done in a timely manner. I am also having issues with prioritization. I understand that nurses have to stay late all the time to chart, but I just felt like I never had a handle on things. I felt so stressed that I ended up crying my whole drive home. I've heard that it gets better after a year or so of being a nurse, but I just feel discouraged.

Thanks for listening to me whine!

[zeus&lincoln]

First off give yourself a break...6 weeks of orientation isn't that much time to learn how to prioritize things for 6 patients and complete all tasks as a seasoned RN. Take this opportunity (extended orientation) to learn how to prioritize your time better. Wishing you the best!

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

We all have bad days. Thankfully, they don't happen very often. What matters most is how you cope with them.

I can assure you... you're on your way to becoming a very good, highly expert nurse. Before you go "no way!", let me explain. There is a lot of research on clinical competence which points out that competence doesn't just happen. It takes effort. Highly proficient people share come common traits. Each time they encounter a difficult situation, they reflect on it and analyze their own behavior to see what could have been done differently - then figure out how to handle it if/when it happens again. This - learning from mistakes - is what differentiates highly expert people from the rest of the crowd.

You're already doing this. So I can assure you with a very high level of confidence - even though it may not seem like it right now, you're on your way to success.

[Bringonthenight]

Bed alarms don't stop falls.

Your doing fine, chin up

[MSNrunner]

I really appreciate the supportive comments. It makes me feel better realizing that this is normal and things will get better with more experience!

[tcvnurse, BSN, RN]

Holy cow, only 6 weeks of orientation? My facility does 3 months for new grads. Anyway if your preceptor is having you do everything you must be doing ok. Sounds like an awful day though. Some advice--try to chart as you go so you don't have so much to do at end of shift. Tell yourself, "I have time to do xyz" . As for the doc simply say, thanks for reminding me, I'll get right on it.

It gets better.

[philliesfinest]

I wish I had that amount of time I was only given 3 weeks... It's been rough

[PrettyLady87]

We all have bad days. Thankfully, they don't happen very often. What matters most is how you cope with them.

I can assure you... you're on your way to becoming a very good, highly expert nurse. Before you go "no way!", let me explain. There is a lot of research on clinical competence which points out that competence doesn't just happen. It takes effort. Highly proficient people share come common traits. Each time they encounter a difficult situation, they reflect on it and analyze their own behavior to see what could have been done differently - then figure out how to handle it if/when it happens again. This - learning from mistakes - is what differentiates highly expert people from the rest of the crowd.

You're already doing this. So I can assure you with a very high level of confidence - even though it may not seem like it right now, you're on your way to success.

This makes me feel so much better! I was so worried about my training coming up in 2 weeks, but now I can breathe a little. :)