Failed twice.. third time is a charm? 4/14/14 is the day!

Hi guys, so i have been reading this forum for a little bit now and everytime i read it, i get inspired. So.. i thought i would write my story for anyone who is in the same position as i am and is retaking the test and feels like it will never happen to them. A little background- i graduated almost 2 years ago now : ( so i super lagged it. The first time i took my test i scheduled it a month after i graduated because i got so many recommendations to take the test while your memory on everything is still fresh. My dad unfortunately got in a accident after i graduated, he was on a motorcycle and a SUV hit him . I tried studying at the hospital but the thought of losing my dad was really hard. I would go everyday to see him and just study. I was thinking on rescheduling my test but i was suppose to go to Europe with two friends and i didn't want to bring them down and my dad said when he finally got out of his coma that he wanted me to go. So i took my test with not a lot of studying, but i figured it would be better to take it now so when i go again to take it, i wouldn't have a lot of anxiety and would know what to expect. Now writing this i realize that probably wasn't the best choice but aw well, it already happened. So i took 75 questions and i hoped by some miracle i would pass but i didn't. I was really upset even though i went in there knowing that i wouldn't pass.

Anyway, i started studying again when i got back home from europe abotu a month or two later. I worked too so it was hard and i had other personal issues going on so i didn't end up taking my test again until a year after i took it the first time. I read about half of saunders, did kaplan questions, and the questions in saunders. I was so sure, i thought for sure this time i did it right, i knew i was going to pass. I went into my test super excited and pumped and ended up taking 265 questions. After 75 i kept thinking to myself, ok you got this, they want to challenge you, show them what you got. When i got home that day i did the pearson vue check and i got the bad pop up. I was so bummed. Especially since this time i thought i passed. It took me awhile to get over it, to this day which is a year later, i still feel really bummed about it. There are moments where i feel like i cant do it, that i will never fufill my dream and its really depressing.

I decided this time to take hold of any resources i could. I started to read these forums and see what other people were doing to study and it really helped. I went to the library and got any nclex books they had. I ended up getting the prioritization, assigment, delegation book, the kaplan 2013-14 strategy book, saunders Qand A,and Saunders comprehensive review. I feel like this post is getting really long so anyone who wants to know how i studied let me know.

Basically i just wanted to say thank you for everyone who has posted on this website, if you are retaking your exam, dont worry there are a lot of other people who are going through the same thing, you are not the only one. Good luck to everyone !!