The #metoo phenomenon has brought my attention back to my past. When I was 14, I was raped by an 18 year old high school senior over summer break. I did not tell anyone until I started high school in September (a few weeks later) and the rapist was in an elective class with me. I started crying in class and was sent to the guidance counselor, whom I told. She assured me that it would be handled, but she did not say what she was going to do.
That night the rapist killed himself in his home. I remember feeling relief that I wouldn't have to deal with the situation anymore. I also feel badly about that. It was easier for me that he killed himself.
Now, I am a psych nurse.
I think I notice a countertransference, not in the obvious way toward patients with a sexual assault history, but in a more insidious way, toward a patient who was accused of sexual assault. I was more protective of that patient than my coworkers were. The patient was threatening suicide, and my coworkers felt that he was doing that to go to a psych unit rather than jail. I did not feel that way. I felt a strong fear that he would complete suicide if discharged and I felt a responsibility to keep it from happening.
Featured Replies
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later.
If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
The #metoo phenomenon has brought my attention back to my past. When I was 14, I was raped by an 18 year old high school senior over summer break. I did not tell anyone until I started high school in September (a few weeks later) and the rapist was in an elective class with me. I started crying in class and was sent to the guidance counselor, whom I told. She assured me that it would be handled, but she did not say what she was going to do.
That night the rapist killed himself in his home. I remember feeling relief that I wouldn't have to deal with the situation anymore. I also feel badly about that. It was easier for me that he killed himself.
Now, I am a psych nurse.
I think I notice a countertransference, not in the obvious way toward patients with a sexual assault history, but in a more insidious way, toward a patient who was accused of sexual assault. I was more protective of that patient than my coworkers were. The patient was threatening suicide, and my coworkers felt that he was doing that to go to a psych unit rather than jail. I did not feel that way. I felt a strong fear that he would complete suicide if discharged and I felt a responsibility to keep it from happening.