the dreaded needle stick....

I for one think you are torturing yourself. Take a close look at the design of the device, focus on how the needle retracts into the plastic hub.

You've made your decision to do the PEP protocol. Keep your mind busy during the month, maintain your mental health any way you can.

My story may help. I was a brand new nurse, back in the day when we recapped needles. My patient was a heroin addict that had his arm amputated from infection due to dirty needles.

Yep, I stuck myself with a dirty needle from that guy ! (haha, I sure know how to "pick" 'em.) It get's better...

I was pregnant. We only had IgG at that time, went through painful injections. Many moons later... we both are fine, no transmission.

Now please.... go have a good day.

I work in the OR. It happens, especially in an environment like ours. We deal with sharps and such that there are no safety features for as it would defeat the purpose of the instrument/device. 60-200 suture needles open and used in a procedure? No way to recap those - we do place them in the needle book with the sharp side down, but...it's not fool proof. Most of our surgeons/residents attempt to "hide" the sharp end with the needle driver when passing them back to us, but again. We have hypos without safety devices, we have blades, all kinds of things. We have a situational awareness to learn about and develop. The list could literally go on for forever. My specialty is unique - we often have patients whom we know literally nothing about (we're a level 1 trauma center - and it happens somewhat frequently to get patients without knowing even name/DOB, nevermind their history).

I don't know many people who haven't had an exposure working in the OR. One resident I know has had an exposure each year they've been a resident. I've had two exposures. One was a freak accident I couldn't make happen if I tried. The other was somewhat dumb, and I injured myself on an instrument that had already been used. That said - we could easily get particles of something in our eyes (around/despite protective eye wear) by mechanisms such as drilling/etc. I reported the incidents, we drew the labs and got the results back. Both were negative. But it serves as a reminder to be more aware/conscious of what we are doing.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Be more careful next time, and just relax a bit. I mean, you had a question/doubt, and handled it as if there was an incident which is probably smart. Better to be safe than sorry. That said, at least in the OR, we sometimes have things drag across our gloves that "feel" like it could have stuck us. Double gloving helps because if you wear an indicator glove holes are shown easily. If there's no holes in either glove you can be reasonably certain you did not stick yourself (to penetrate your skin it would have penetrated the gloves).

This is a reminder for everyone.. You should treat EVERY patient the same. There are plenty of people out there with undiagnosed HIV, Hep C, etc - so you cannot trust the fact that they do not have the dx on the chart. Many of us have had sharps exposure during our careers. Luckily the transmission rate is very low. You should be just fine, I know that won't ease your concerns though.