DON constantly texting me

[Jen and Larry]

I work at an assisted living facility. My DON texts me constantly during work and outside of work. It's very distracting to receive texts while I'm trying to work. On my days off it's infuriating getting messages from her with stupid messages asking questions that can most likely wait till I'm at work next. Am I'm I wrong and should I say something?

[brownbook]

You are not wrong.

Make an appointment to met with her. Say something about you like your job and working there. But your days off are very important to you. You need time to relax, forget about work, be with your family, etc. That receiving texts on your days off make the days off seem like you are still at work and interrupt your family time.

Also tell her when she texts you while you are at work you get distracted. Laugh and apologize that you are awful at multi-tasking. The interruptions cause you to lose track of what you were doing, or what you planned to do next.

Let her know she can always text you for serious important issues.

[Accolay]

The world has become strange with fingertip access to anyone. So many think everyone is always available, and so many think they are always available. The phone rings and they have to answer. But there are few people in our line of work that would need to talk about work stuff outside of work.

Your first reply gave you the "adult" way to handle the problem. I offer a juvinile alternative passive agressive "ignore" option:

DON "did you get my text?"

You, "no, was it important?"

DON, "Not really."

Process continues until DON stops texting and only talks to you at work. Also works for work phone calls, or really for not talking to anyone you'd rather not.

[TriciaJ, RN]

The beautiful thing about texts is they don't need to be responded to right away. Urgent matters require a phone call. Truly urgent matters require 911 which isn't your number.

While working, start with responding to her once per hour. Gradually keep increasing the time interval, during which you do not respond. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner; I was busy." On your days off, use the blocking mode. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you on my days off; I was busy with my family." Do this unapologetically. If she huffs and puffs then offer her more information: "I can't give you my best work when I'm constantly responding to texts; I'll do my best to get back to you." "On my days off I'm busy with my family. I'll get back to you when I can."

It is a bit passive-aggressive; you will be paying her lip service while you limit how often you respond to her texts. Hopefully, she'll gradually get the message that she needs friends and you aren't one of them. I don't recommend having a prompt sit-down conversation; she is your boss and can find all kinds of underhanded ways to retaliate. Best to start limiting your availability with a big smile on your face.

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

Are you required to have your phone with you during work? Do you receive texts that are necessary to your job? If the answers are no, leave you cell phone in your locker.