Does everyone feel like they can't do it?

I have been an LVN for 3 years and recently completed my RN transition. I worked for 3 years for an OB/GYN. I loved my job and was even able to become his surgical assistant and assisted with C/S and other Gyn surgeries. That was my favorite part of the job. Earning my RN was my goal though and unfortunately he was not able to afford an RN and unfortunately I had student loans and a family to support so I decided to move on. This has proved very difficult because again, I loved my job.

I have been head strong at using the experience I have and trying to find my way into L&D. I got a job in post partum at the hospital that I had done our C/S cases at. 3 months later our unit was closed, so I was able to find a position for an RN at a large OB/GYN group but it was 60 miles away and was only for phone triage. The pay was good, but I missed patient contact and the OR. I've applied to several residency programs, most I won't qualify for because I did my RN transition through Excelsior and don't have the clinical instructor letter of recommendations. The one great opportunity I had, I blew because I failed the math exam. I'm not one to make excuses but I had an unimaginable migraine that day and was not able to reschedule. I recently took a job closer to home but it is in Tele/Stroke floor.

I dread every day. I have panic attacks at home and cry on the way to work each morning. I'm still being preceptored and this is what I'm doing! I am severely depressed because I am in an area that I am not at all interested in. I miss the passion I felt. I took this job with the attitude that if I put in the time, I can transfer at some point.

I feel pathetic because I've never been one to feel like I can't do something but I feel out of control here. It scares me to death to think that I am going to be on my own soon. Is this a common new nurse feeling? I know it will get better when I get more comfortable but it's killing me in the mean time!