Clinical partner issues HELP!

[Darkstar1485, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

Ok, I'm going to get this off my chest...

I have a clinical partner who is in his early 30's. He has 2 kids and a wife.

When I first met him, he seemed motivated and very intelligent, and i wanted to partne with someone who was serious.

Now I'm seeing a side of him that i don't like at all.

He never studies for tests, and then acts like its no big deal when he fails bc "they are going to throw out questions anyway."

It seems like nursins school is not all that important to him. Whenever things get a little tough he'll always revert back to the fact that he has enough on his plate already (being husband and a father of two). This dude doesnt work, and ALWAYS leaves school as soon as class is over and never stays to study or do the wok we need to do (unless he needs me to help him with an assignment and its convienient fo him)

I feel like he only cares about himself. If he needs help he'll call me 3-4 times but when i need help and try to call or text him it's "family time" and he cant be bothered. he'll say things like:

"i have a life outside of nursing school" and "i just gotta take time out for myself" and "i can't stress myself out" "school is not my priority" and stupid stuff like that. It just irks me.

Now, Im in my late 20's, single as a dollar bill, and i don't have any children. nursing school is my life right now and i work VERY hard. Maybe i would understand better if i were married and had children. Maybe I'm just being petty and i need to get over myself..... but right now i feel like he's a lazy, selfish, douchebag who willl never be there for me (as far as school is concerned) if i needed his help. if he needs help, i make sure to be there bc i would want the same if the roles were reversed. he could care less.

He complains about everything, and doesnt put the work in to even justify complaining.

Even in clinical, i feel like i do all the work and he just sits there chatting with the patient.

a part of me wants to rip him a new butt hole and tell him he's a lazy piece of garbage, but im sure that would only create a bigger problem...

I don't know what to do and im very frustrated.

too late to change partners btw

HELP!

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

You don't need his help to do your own studying, and I wouldn't bail out his sorry butt when the finals week rolls around and he wants you to make up for all his laziness all semester.

If there is some requirement at your school that you have to do a joint project with your assigned partner (him) go to your advisor STAT and get it changed. It is NOT too late. You cannot allow him to drag you down. You're better off doing a project by yourself than letting him hitchhike on what is sure to be all your work anyway.

Don't worry about next semester. He won't be there.

[rubato, ASN, RN]

I agree. Don't help him and don't ask for his help. Just do your work, let him do his and see who comes out on top.

[BostonFNP, APRN]

My advice is a little different in some aspects:

1. Find a new study group/partner that is as committed as you are. You don't need your lab partner to study.

2. Use open lab times. It helps you practice an people will notice you are there an your partner isn't.

3. When he needs help, if you have the time, help him. The process of helping helps you learn the material. It doesn't burn bridges (you never know who's wife or sister or mother or best friend is a nursing manager).

Excuse the typos, on iPhone.

[JBudd, MSN]

Do you share pt assignments in clinical? I'm not familiar with doing it that way, our students all have individual assignments. If shared (which is what your post seems to say), I would talk to your CI about your frustration at feeling as though you are doing everything alone. Ask her to watch closely and let you know if your perceptions are off. This is a way to ask for help without seeming to be a complainer.

You now know he is not going to help you out or be there for you. Well, so. Accept it and move on, you won't change him. Next decide what you need to do for yourself: find a study group, ask the lab instructor for a little extra help or time, ask if you can join in with another lab pair, whatever you need to learn and pass.

Don't waste any more energy or time on him, don't let him live in your head, just do what is required of you as a partner and then concentrate on learning nursing. Your professionalism in no way depends on someone else.

Good luck and hugs to you :)