Child needs evaluated for autism

Hi,

My nephew was just diagnosed with a form of Autism this month. He will be 4 the end of this month. It took a long time for his mom to get him tested. She just did not except the fact that he was not a "normal" child.

I called our local Autistic Society and had a bunch of literature sent to me explaining the signs of Autism. My nephew had pretty much every symptom.

You can check their web site at www.autisticsociety.org.

The earlier you get help the more of a chance they have of leading a "normal" life.

Good luck to you. I know it can be hard to approach family but for the sake of the child this needs to be done.

Hi,

My nephew was just diagnosed with a form of Autism this month. He will be 4 the end of this month. It took a long time for his mom to get him tested. She just did not except the fact that he was not a "normal" child.

I called our local Autistic Society and had a bunch of literature sent to me explaining the signs of Autism. My nephew had pretty much every symptom.

You can check their web site at www.autisticsociety.org.

The earlier you get help the more of a chance they have of leading a "normal" life.

Good luck to you. I know it can be hard to approach family but for the sake of the child this needs to be done.

Thanks! I just know she'll take it the wrong way, but at least I know I tried to help.

Nicole

I hope that you can get her to open her eyes soon. There are great things that can be done with Autistic children also most Austistic children need to be taught to live and interact in this world, we cannot go into his.

My son is Autistic. He is a genius in math, science and reading. But he falls apart if he hears a sudden loud alarm, but for some reason fire trucks nor ambulances, dad and I both work for the fire dept, bother him but an egg timer will cause him to dissolve. Autistic ticks(flailing arms, kicking, verbal) can be modified with Occupational therapy but the longer they wait the harder it will be.

I would be happy to talk to your Aunt or Uncle or you and help out with any information I can, just pm or e-mail me.

If they reside in Fl there is a group here named CARD(Center for Autism and Related Disorders). They do great work for the families.

Isn't that something the pediatrician or child's doctor would pick up on during a visit? I'm not asking to be mean - I just know that my kids' pediatrician has picked it up in other children when they're in for a physical (actually, one is a friend's son). Seems odd that at 8years old, no medical professional or teacher has said anything.

I wish them the best, and hope he can get help soon.

Isn't that something the pediatrician or child's doctor would pick up on during a visit? I'm not asking to be mean - I just know that my kids' pediatrician has picked it up in other children when they're in for a physical (actually, one is a friend's son). Seems odd that at 8years old, no medical professional or teacher has said anything.

I wish them the best, and hope he can get help soon.

I too wondered about that, but if you saw this child, you would know what I mean. We can be doing absolutely nothing and all of sudden, he'll start squeeling, kicking his feet frantically and flapping his arms wildly. I'll try to say something to him and he won't answer. It's like he doesn't hear me. EVERYONE in the family has always made comments about his behavior, but nobody has ever said anything. I feel bad for him. Also, his vocabulary isn't that great. Well, maybe it's not his vocabulary itself, but his speech. He talks very fast....almost like he's stuttering and he repeats the same thing over and over and over again in very monotone voice. I'm sorry, but he's just not normal and he needs help. SOMETHING is very wrong and I don't understand how she can't see it.

I ended up emailing her. I don't think she took it too well. Her reply was very short ( unlike her ) and she just said that she is very well aware of his arm flapping, but that she doesn't see the other signs. She said she'd mention it to his doctor though.

One thing that you need to understand also is that my aunt isn't all there herself. She's an alcoholic married to a verbally and physically abusive husband (don't know if he still hits her, but he DID put her in the hospital before she had kids). I often wonder if he's the way he is because of his family situation, but can the signs of autism are there, so that's why I keep saying that.

Sounds like a sad situation. The worst part is that the longer she is in denial and doesn't get help for her son, he is the one who suffers the most and loses more opportunity to function in society someday. My youngest son (4yo) is autistic and developmentally disabled. It broke my heart at first, but getting him into treatment is the best way to help him maybe fit in and succeed in his own way. The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome. I don't know how anyone could get through to your aunt; it is too bad that the pediatrician doesn't pick up on it. Is the ped someone you could speak to about your concerns and maybe they will take notice next time? I wish your aunt could understand that she is really doing her child a disservice, and hurting his future. Good luck, SG

You all have my full sympathies. I was a mother very much like your aunt. Is this her first or only child? Ben was my first and I just thought he was on the lower end of normal. I thought it was just his personality. I was afraid of labels. I didn't want my son to be labeled forever, and held back by that label. He didn't get diagnosed with Asperger's until he was 11, after I put him into the school system. He was homeschooled until then. Doctors often don't spend enough time with children to pick up on autism, especially if it's mild and the child is verbal, so it's no surprise to me that he hasn't been diagnosed yet. I am a bit surprised that the school hasn't said anything, but if it's a private school, they may not be equipped to make that kind of judgement. I ended up having to take Ben out of private school and put him in public school to get him the help he needed. Hugs all around. I hope that your aunt comes around and gets your cousin the help he needs. Be patient with her. I know that's hard. Expect some grieving time. Even though it can be a relief to have a diagnosis, it is also heartbreaking.

You all have my full sympathies. I was a mother very much like your aunt. Is this her first or only child? Ben was my first and I just thought he was on the lower end of normal. I thought it was just his personality. I was afraid of labels. I didn't want my son to be labeled forever, and held back by that label. He didn't get diagnosed with Asperger's until he was 11, after I put him into the school system. He was homeschooled until then. Doctors often don't spend enough time with children to pick up on autism, especially if it's mild and the child is verbal, so it's no surprise to me that he hasn't been diagnosed yet. I am a bit surprised that the school hasn't said anything, but if it's a private school, they may not be equipped to make that kind of judgement. I ended up having to take Ben out of private school and put him in public school to get him the help he needed. Hugs all around. I hope that your aunt comes around and gets your cousin the help he needs. Be patient with her. I know that's hard. Expect some grieving time. Even though it can be a relief to have a diagnosis, it is also heartbreaking.

I ended up emailing my aunt expressing my concerns and she said she'll mention it to the doctor next time she goes. Whether or not she actually does, I won't know. They live in Florida and I'm in North Carolina, so it's not like I can go to the doctor appt with them.

Oh, and no....this is not her first child. She has an older son also that's 14.

I am wishing your cousin and your aunt the best. Unfortunatley private schools aren't mandated to provide services for children with special needs, and if your cousin is doing well academically they may just attribute the symptoms as just a behavioral phase that he will grow out of. There is a a program in Minnesota ( I believe) called the Sonrise Program that works with kids and families, they also have a program that teaches parents how to work with their child. It does sound like your aunt is attempting to make a first step. Good Luck!!

I ended up emailing my aunt expressing my concerns and she said she'll mention it to the doctor next time she goes. Whether or not she actually does, I won't know. They live in Florida and I'm in North Carolina, so it's not like I can go to the doctor appt with them.

Oh, and no....this is not her first child. She has an older son also that's 14.

My 8 year old cousin has displayed signs of autism since he was a toddler. Even his dad can see it, but my aunt gets mad when anyone says that anything is wrong with her child.

He is up here visiting from Florida and I can't believe how much worse it's gotten. He constantly flaps his arms wildly, kicks his legs and squeels. My uncle Brian (not his dad...) took him to a race last night and said that he did it for 2 straight hours. My uncle was so embarrased and so I told him that I've always thought Kevin (my cousin) had a form of autism, but that Debbie (my aunt...Kevin's mom) gets mad when anyone mentions Kevin's behavior.

He also gets in his own world, NEVER smiles, and used to have terrible behavior problems. His behavior has gotten better, but the arm flapping, feet kicking, squeeling and "in his own world" behavior has gotten so much worse.

How can I get my aunt to understand that she needs to have him evaluated? I don't understand why the school hasn't picked up on this. Maybe it's because they pay $500/month to keep him in private school.

Nobody in the family will confront her, but I have decided that I will. I just don't know how to go about approaching her in a way that she'll take me seriously.

Thanks for any help in advance!

Nicole

Nicole, I would try toning down your language and approaching your aunt in a different way. This shouldn't be about "confronting" your aunt. It should be about helping her to understand that there are services that could help your cousin. Instead of telling your uncle that you think your cousin has autism (I am almost always right when I speculate privately about a child's condition, but I NEVER share my opinion with the parent, because I am not qualified to do so) I would have done some research about programs available in their community. And then, I would put together the information in a way that addresses the most pressing of your cousin's problems. We run up against this pretty frequently at my job. Grandma thinks something's up but her daughter doesn't, aunt, uncle, babysitter, whoever, is more alarmed than the parent. Say a child's language is developing the way would be expected. I suggest to grandma that she tells the child's parents about a program she heard about, it will do a free language assessment. Or if behaviors are getting to be difficult to control, finding out what agency in her state can help with behavior modification. But always introduce it in a way that emphasizes how it will help the child, and never announce your suspicions to the parent. You could be wrong (you're probably not, but this child needs to be assessed. My son's preschool teacher told me that a former school nurse once announced to a Mom that her 3 year old was schizophrenic, when in fact he had a tumor pressing on his brain). As far as why the school hasn't picked on this, maybe they have. Maybe your aunt and uncle just aren't sharing this information with you. And I'd love to know where they found a private school that will accept a child with autism for $500 a month. They run about $2500 a month here.

EDITED TO ADD: UNC Chapel Hill has excellent autism resources! You should check them out.