Tuesday August 15th 2023

Good morning!

Good to read that work is going better for you and hope it stays that way.

Ado, glad you finally made it.  What an ordeal.

I rarely do not read a book once I start, but have many unread books to be read on my shelf.  I tend to buy books carefully so I get a bit stubborn and finish them even if I don't like it.  Maybe if I checked out library books, I'd return them unread if I didn't like them.

  I'm reading The Foghorn Echoes which is by a Syrian-Canadian and about two people that had a love affair in Syria when war broke out, one was able to get out and it's quite tragic.  It's weird because there are ghosts but they are symbolic and have meaning.  Best friend didn't like it and returned it to the library unfinished.  I'm about to finish it up and like it okay.  It won the prestigious  Lambda Literary Award for best Gay Men's fiction.  Back in the day this used to be an indicator that I would really like the book and I've always gotten the nominees even.  In the last 15 or so years they've moved to be more inclusive and have awarded the winner to Asians, African Americans and Arabs.  This has opened my minds to great books, but a couple of times I thought the books were only politically correct to end white gay male domination of the genre and the books weren't that good.  I do miss going to a gay men's book club.

Anyway, didn't mean to go off on that tangent.  I'm off today and have mopped the floors and waiting for them to dry and have breakfast.  Will meal prep for meals through the weekend and go to yoga.  

Sooooo~ Hubby was out in his 'office' (the Ford) this morning, and I went out there to see him.

Hubby said he called the lady at John Edwards, and she said a lot of people used the investments/annuities to pay for nursing home costs. It will take us about three days to get a check, when we know how much and to where it will go.

He called the nsg home; but the one we were thinking of first and foremost, has no beds at the moment. Another close-by nsg home does not take Alzheimer's patients. This is going swimmingly, eh? Time to look up some alternative residential situations for Nannie. If he doesn't like that, then he can continue to be stressed out by Nannie's presence. I told him we need to hire an agency to have some PD aides come to spend time with her, to give us a break. He agreed, but doesn't realize that doing that will sap a lot of $$$ from Nannie's accounts.

He has his Xanax refill waiting for him at the pharmacy, and that's all he really cares about. I told him that he gets so wobbly when he takes Xanax and drinks vodka, that he has been so eff'd up that he stumbles and lurches, and he said "All right, then I'll try to remember not to mix them any more. (HA!)  I said that I would HOPE he can keep from doing that this time, because I can't take it any more! // "Did you come out here just to fuss at me?"  //----"No, I am TALKING with you. So I guess you aren't willing to do any detox with Dr. P?" // He didn't really answer that. I said he still needed to go to the doctor anyway to get a Lasix refill, but he waved that off. Huh.

All I can say is: LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY! 

I am going out to do the errands, which, last night he was hot about going to do them with me...but now, he says he is going to heat up the leftover lasagna and then go upstairs for a nap.

I see another discussion coming up about his non-participation in life, and that his booze is more important than any resolution of any of the problems he complains about. He is the only one who can decide to make any changes, so next time he starts in on his woes, I will remind him of that. No magic wands, no fairy godmothers. I am not going to bail his orifice out next time he is in a state of almost falling. If he falls and gets hurt, there's always the ambulance guys to pick him up....because I CAN NOT, and will not.

So, for now, nothing much changes at all. It figures, I know. But I am not willing to settle for nothing changing.....

To be cont'd....

Hi. Saw the doctor this morning to ask for a thyroid check. He ordered some other stuff that can cause "arthralgias", like low Vit D or B12. He's going to check for RA, but I don't have any swollen joints. Oh well. And at my request, he ordered a follow up Chest CT because I had one last year that showed tiny nodules and re-imaging was recommended. Retirement seems to be multiple healthcare visits interspersed with pharmacy pick-ups. He suggested chondroitin supplements, but I don't think there is much evidence to support those. 

Stars, I suppose one small step has been taken. I totally concur that you should not be picking him up! Or the Nannie, if that is needed. A home health person to come it sounds like a great idea, because YOU NEED A BREAK! 

Aw, Annie, I hope you get something of value from your trip. My neck hurts thinking about what you've had to endure. 

I have tried to read Anna Karenina several times, never finished it. I did finish 3 books while traveling this Summer. 

It's getting hot again, so we are going to a movie matinee, Oppenheimer. We had take out pizza last night. Tonight maybe peanut buster parfaits from DQ. 

Gosh, I wish it would rain. The wildfire that is east of us is making the air gross.